Author Topic: Robert Land Academy  (Read 15447 times)

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Offline Ursus

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Re: Donald James "DJ" MacNeil, R.I.P.
« Reply #15 on: December 06, 2010, 06:32:36 PM »
Some additional Information from the above obit page:

    Celebration of Life
    Saturday, December 04, 2010
    2:00pm
    Rockingham United Church
    Flamingo Drive
    Halifax, Nova Scotia[/list]
      Visitation
      Friday, December 03, 2010
      2:00pm - 4:00pm
      J.A. Snow Funeral Home
      339 Lacewood Drive
      Halifax, Nova Scotia[/list]
      « Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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      Offline Ursus

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      Guest Book for Donald James "DJ" MacNeil, #s 1-20
      « Reply #16 on: December 09, 2010, 10:27:54 PM »
      Guest Book for Donald James "DJ" MacNeil, #s 1-20:


      December 2, 2010
        Dear Leslie and Cameron: Our hearts are broken as we learn of the death of your beloved boy D.J. You are in our thoughts and prayers at this very difficult time. We love you and will be thinking of you. Love Gary, Debbie and Charlotte Gallivan, Sydney. N.S.
      December 2, 2010
        To the MacNeil Family,

        We were very saddened to hear about DJ's passing. While we did not know him personally, our son David was his friend and teammate on the Halifax West football team. He will be sadly missed and fondly remembered by everyone whose lives he touched.

        Our thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult period, and we hope that in time the many memories that you will carry forever in your hearts will help to ease your pain and grief.

        Our sincerest sympathies,

        John and Susan Carson
        Calgary, Alberta
      December 2, 2010
        I was so shocked and sad to hear of your loss.My heart goes out to you. I'll be thinking about you during this difficult time.
          ~ Anne Latimer,
      Northside East Bay, Nova Scotia[/list][/list]
      December 2, 2010
        Dear Leslie and Cameron,

        We are very sorry to hear about your son, DJ's tragic death. This is an incredibly difficult and sad time for the both of you.We hope the love and caring of family and friends and the memories of DJ will help all those who knew and loved DJ. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
        Sincerely,
        Paul and Carolyn Edwards
      December 2, 2010
        DEAR LESLIE,I AM SO SADDENED TO HEAR OF THE LOSS OF YOUR BELOVED SON DJ. MAY THE LOVE OF YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS HELP CARRY YOU THROUGH THIS TIME OF GRIEF.PLEASE KNOW THAT YOU LESLIE, AND YOUR FAMILY OUR IN MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS,GOD BLESS
        ELAINE HOUSE SYDNEY N.S.
      December 2, 2010
        Dear Leslie, Cameron, Catherine, Nilda & Jimmie,

        I am visiting the girls in Florida and I just read the Cape Breton Post Obituaries online. There are no words to express our feelings of sorrow on the loss of your son, brother, and grandson. Wynna, Marjorie and I will keep you in our thoughts and prayers knowing God must have needed another angel.

        Jeanette, Wynna & Marjorie
      December 2, 2010
        Dear Leslie and Cameron,

        Mike and I were deeply shocked and saddened to learn of DJ's passing in the tragic accident that occured. Our hearts and prayers go out to you and your extended family. Leslie, please tell your Dad that I know my Dad (Sonny) will look after DJ in his new home. God Bless.

        Dawn Monahan.
          ~ Dawn Monahan,
      Sydney, Nova Scotia[/list][/list]
      December 2, 2010
        Cameron and Leslie, we cannot imagine all you must be feeling. DJ was a special young man judging by his pictures. We send our prayaers and blessings with hopes that your heart and soul find courage in the difficult days ahead. Peace be with you. Cathy (Harrison) and Bernie Aucoin- Young St FB
          ~ Catherine Aucoin,
      Eastern Passage, Nova Scotia[/list][/list]
      December 2, 2010
        Dear Leslie, my deepest sympathy to you and your family. There are no answers to the many, "why" questions, we just keep going and perhaps the thought that a new energy force has entered the universe will help in some way to think of DJ as an everlasting entity. Sincerely and with understanding, Barb Whiston
      December 2, 2010
        Dear Leslie, my deepest sympathy to you and your family. There are no answers to the many, "why" questions, we just keep going and perhaps the thought that a new energy force has entered the universe will help in some way to think of DJ as an everlasting entity. Sincerely and with understanding,
          ~ Barb Whiston,
      Truro, Nova Scotia[/list][/list]
      December 2, 2010
        Our son Robert attended RLA with DJ. He came home at Thanksgiving and was happy to tell us about his new friend D.J., whom he connected with and whose company he enjoyed. It was horrifying to get the news this morning of his passing. My son is understandably distraught but your family needs the love and support of all to get through this time.
        Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
          ~ Gabriella and Peter Chalkley,
      Markham, Ontario[/list][/list]
      December 2, 2010

        Dearest Leslie,
        I am deeply saddened by this tragedy. DJ and I had a special connection and I am very grateful to God that we had the opportunity to spend some happy times with him in Guelph. I will cherish those good memories forever in my heart. My thoughts and prayers are with you, Cameron and Cass at this extremely difficult time. Love, Marie Thorne[/list]
        December 3, 2010

          Incredible sadness will be tempered with the great memories we have of DJ. Our family will so fondly remember the fun outings we shared when the boys were little. We really enjoyed the time we got to spend with DJ. A special kid, who loved his family very much.
          Louise, Vince and Dorian Baker
            ~
          [/list]
          December 3, 2010
            To Leslie, Cameron and Catherine,
            Although we are far from you today our thoughts will be near and our prayers strong for your beloved Son and Brother. Take solace in the arms of your Family during this difficult time and know that your friends present and past share in the sense of loss for DJ. Your hearts always had so much room for us that we know he was loved like no other.

            Thinking of you in your time of sorrow,
            Eric R and Krista.
            Calgary
              ~ Eric Richard,
          Calgary, Alberta[/list][/list]
          December 3, 2010
            Dear Leslie and Cameron,
            My thoughts and prayers are with you at this time.
              ~ Patricia Morrison,
          Sydney, Nova Scotia[/list][/list]
          December 3, 2010
            Leslie and Cameron,
            I am so saddened to hear of the loss of your beautiful son. May God be with you and your family at this time.
            Helen (Ranni) Allen.
              ~ Helen Allen,
          Halifax, Nova Scotia[/list][/list]
          December 3, 2010
            Dear Leslie, Cameron and Family,

            I am very sorry for the loss of your beloved Son, DJ. Our hearts and prayers are with you in these difficult times. May the Great God/Spirit be with you.
              ~ Duncan Gould,
          Membertou, Nova Scotia[/list][/list]
          December 3, 2010
            Dear Leslie and Cameron,
            So sorry to hear of D.J.'s passing. What a lovely obituary in the paper. It speaks of what a great son he was. My heart and prayers go out to you and your family at this time of sorrow. May your faith in God and love for each other help get you through this tough time.
            Carol Ann (MacDonald) MacDougall
            Coxheath
          December 3, 2010
            Dear Cameron,

            There are no words to express the sorrow & sadness I feel for you and your family. Please know that you are in my thoughts & prayers during this very difficult time.

            Cathy (Sidey) MacDonnell
              ~ Cathy MacDonnell,
          Enfield, Nova Scotia[/list][/list]
          December 3, 2010
            Cameron and Leslie
            I read about your tragic loss in this morning's paper - my thoughts and prayers go out to you and your loved ones as you go through this very challenging time. In the few times I have seen you over the years you always lit up when talking about your children; I hope the many memories of joyful times you spent with DJ will give you some comfort and continue to make you light up as you deal with the difficult days ahead.
              ~ Lynn Hogan,
          Halifax, Nova Scotia[/list][/list]



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          « Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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          Offline Ursus

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          Re: GB for Donald James "DJ" MacNeil, #s 1-20
          « Reply #17 on: December 09, 2010, 10:40:41 PM »
          Larger versions of the above pics:



            Submitted by Marie Thorne


            Valley trip to pick out a pumpkin
            Submitted by Louise, Vince and Dorian Baker
            [/list]
            « Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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            Offline Ursus

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            Guest Book for Donald James "DJ" MacNeil, #s 21-40
            « Reply #18 on: December 14, 2010, 01:03:48 AM »
            Guest Book for Donald James "DJ" MacNeil, continued, #s 21-40:


            December 3, 2010
              Dear MaryLee, I was saddened to read your nephew's obituary. You spoke so many times of your niece and nephew.Of babysitting them and when you lived with your brother and his family for awhile.I do remember how close your family is and I pray that strength will support you all during this most heartbreaking of times. Sincerely, Mary-Ellen Henneberry
            December 3, 2010
              Dearest Leslie, Cameron and Catherine: we've just looked through the pictures of DJ with much sadness and much love. What stands out is the happiness in his relationships with his family and his friends, and the special spot in his heart for Jimmy and Nilda. All of us will miss him terribly.
              We are sorry that we cannot be with you now, but know that our thoughts are with you.
              Love
              Olga Marie, Rich, and Susan, Steve and girls.
            December 3, 2010
              Dear Leslie,

              My sincerest condolences on the loss of your son DJ. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time.

              Peter Dimock, Brookside NS
            December 3, 2010
              Dear Cameron and Leslie: Most obviously there are no words to lighten your terrible sorrow. The thoughts and prayers of all your friends and neighbours are with you now and in the days ahead. If there is anything, please call.
              With deepest regards, Jim Vibert and family.
                ~ jim vibert,
            halifax, Nova Scotia[/list][/list]
            December 3, 2010
              Leslie and Cameron I am so sorry to hear about your son's death. As I never had the pleasure to meet him and I havent seen either of you in years, I just wanted to let you and your family know that my thoughts and prayers are with you all. Carla (Moraff) MacDonald
            December 3, 2010
              To the family of DJ,

              May your hearts remain open to God's love and blessings especially through out this extremely difficult time. Me and my family's thoughts are wrapping you in tender light. Our sincerest condolences.

              Tricia and Bernie Morton - Barman Lambie, A Coy, Robert Land Academy
                ~ Tricia Morton,
            Oakville, Ontario[/list][/list]
            December 4, 2010
              My son Stefan from the Robert Land Academy spoke of DJ as funny, happy and always with a smile. His photo memories showed that well.

              Stefan said plans were made Sunday afternoon for the 3 to meet in Vancouver for Christmas - DJ, Connor and Stefan. Instead they will meet in Halifax today - 2 good friends standing beside DJ.

              Although I did not know DJ personally, I know well your family Seamus, Margo and Conner in Vancouver.

              God Bless your family today during this tragic event. We will be thinking of you tomorrow. You will be in our prayers and forever in our hearts.
                ~ Helen & Christie Arlotti-Wood,
            Vancouver, British Columbia[/list][/list]
            December 4, 2010
              Dear Leslie, Cameron and Catherine,

              Our deepest condolences on the loss of DJ.

              Tom and Bonnie
            December 4, 2010
              Leslie, Cameron, Catherine, & Family,
              There are no words. My heart breaks for you. Bless you Kathy MacKillop
                ~ Kathy MacKillop,
            Sydney, Nova Scotia[/list][/list]
            December 4, 2010
              Hi Leslie:

              I can't even imagine the loss of a child but, I do know the loss of a precious young man, when we lost our nephew. There are no words to say. God bless you and your family and always remember where God takes away he gives in other areas.

              Take care,

              Pat, Pauline Brooks
              Tom, Shirley Scanlon
            December 4, 2010
              Leslie and Cameron,

              I was so sorry to learn about the loss of your son DJ. Please know that my thoughts are with you and your family at this difficult time.
                ~ David MacLennan,
            Crescent Beach[/list][/list]
            December 4, 2010
              Leslie and Cameron,

              I was so sorry to learn about the loss of your son DJ. Please know that my thoughts are with you and your family at this difficult time.
                ~ David MacLennan,
            Crescent Beach, Nova Scotia[/list][/list]
            December 4, 2010
              Dear Cameron, Leslie and Catherine,
              There are no words to express our deep sadness in the loss of your beautiful boy ~ our hearts are broken for you. You are in our thoughts and prayers.
              Our Deepest Sympathy.
                ~ Bill & Alison (Currie) MacIsaac,
            Halifax, Nova Scotia[/list][/list]
            December 4, 2010
              Cameron, Jimmy, and families. We are so sorry to hear about your tragic loss of your son, grandson, and brother. You are in our thoughts and prayers as you go through this very sad and heartbreaking time. God has gained another Angel. Millard and Sharon Wynn.
            December 4, 2010
              Deepest sympathy at this sad time, our thought and prayersare with you all

              Marg rudderham boys& family
                ~ marg rudderham,
            sydney, Nova Scotia[/list][/list]
            December 4, 2010
              Dear Leslie, I am so very sorry and shocked to hear about your son's tragic death. I hope the love and caring of family and friends and all your wonderful memories of DJ will help you through this incredibly difficult and sad time. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Leslie, I guess God needed another angel. Take care.

              Rita Anderson (Retired DNR friend)
            December 4, 2010
              Our sincere condolences for the the tragic loss of your beloved son. Our thoughts and prayers have been with you throughout this past week. We pray that God will sustain and uphold you during this incredibly difficult time.
              Anna & Charlie Piper
              Hamilton, Ontario
            December 5, 2010
              Dear Cameron and Leslie, Bruce and I are on our way to Florida but so wanted you to know that our hearts and prayers are with you and Cass at this very sad time. We were shocked to hear of DJ's tragic death. I have just looked through the photos and remembering his wonderful smile and how excited you both were when he was born. You must be so proud to know that he will be remembered by so many friends and those who had the privilege to know him.
              Please know that your friends are thinking of you as you go forward from here with love and caring. Love Joan & Bruce Hensler
                ~ Joan & Bruce Hensler,
            Dartmouth, Nova Scotia[/list][/list]
            December 5, 2010
              Dear Leslie, Cameron and Catherine: We were so sorry to hear about the loss of DJ. Our thoughts and prayers are with you all. We hope that the happy memories can help you through this difficult time. Taylor has very fond memories of DJ during her time with him at Wedgewood Little School.
                ~ Lori, Neil, Taylor Funnell,
            Halifax, Nova Scotia[/list][/list]
            December 6, 2010
              Dear Leslie and Family,

              I am so saddened to hear about your son's tragic death. Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you.
              Sincerely,
              Angela Smith
                ~ Angela Smith,
            Waverley, Nova Scotia[/list][/list]


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            « Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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            Offline Ursus

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            Guest Book for Donald James "DJ" MacNeil, #s 41-45
            « Reply #19 on: December 20, 2010, 11:51:53 AM »
            Guest Book for Donald James "DJ" MacNeil, continued, #s 41-45:


            December 6, 2010
              Dear Leslie & Family: I just learned of your son's tragic death, and wanted to send my heart felt sympathy to you as you try and gather strength and courage to face the coming days. Give way to the flood of sorrow that fills your empty heart. "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted."
              MATTHEW 5:4
                ~ Sheila Ferguson,
            Truro, Nova Scotia[/list][/list]
            December 7, 2010
              Dear Leslie and Cameron:

              I was very saddened to hear of the tragic death of your son DJ, although I did not have the pleasure of knowing him I am confident that he was a fine young man, ( he had the right bloodlines).

              I have not seen you in many years, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your families.

              Best Regards

              Walter Rutherford
            December 8, 2010
              Dear Cameron, Leslie, and Catherine:

              I am very sorry to hear of your loss. My thoughts are with you.
                ~ Robert Barrett,
            Montreal, Quebec[/list][/list]
            December 13, 2010
              Dear Leslie, Cameron & Catherine,
              We were deeply saddened by this terrible news.
              We've been following your Family's progress through life via our dear Friends, Jimmy & Nilda.
              Please know that we are with you all during this very difficult time.
              Love,
              Carolyn & Bob
            January 28, 2011
              Macneil Family,

              I know this must be a difficult day for you but I am thankful that I got to get to know your son. I met him at the IWK and he was a wonderful listener, and we became very good friends through long talks, and reading to eachother.

              My prayers are with you and I know that DJ is watching down on all of us.

              Take care,
                ~ Bronwyn Pitts,
            Hantsport, Nova Scotia[/list][/list]


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            « Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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            Offline ajax13

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            Re: Robert Land Academy
            « Reply #20 on: July 24, 2011, 07:43:22 PM »
            I was recently speaking to a man who attended this school for a number of years.  He recounted having his personal journal read aloud in the mess hall, and being called to attention in the mess hall, at which point his meal was shoved into his face, as he had been critical of the food in the journal.  The man said that he was then fed only Corn Flakes and water for several days, over the course of which he dug and filled in a hole repeatedly.  This same fellow also recounted being beaten with a cut-down canoe paddle.  A little touch of homo-erotic sadism goes a long way when you're a grown man punishing children.  The fact that the place has a leader who is an imposter, and parents give up responsibility for their kids to the place, says it all.
            « Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
            "AARC will go on serving youth and families as long as it will be needed, if it keeps open to God for inspiration" Dr. F. Dean Vause Executive Director


            MR. NELSON: Mr. Speaker, AADAC has been involved with
            assistance in developing the program of the Alberta Adolescent
            Recovery Centre since its inception originally as Kids of the
            Canadian West."
            Alberta Hansard, March 24, 1992

            Offline Ursus

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            Re: Robert Land Academy
            « Reply #21 on: July 31, 2011, 12:18:25 PM »
            Quote from: "ajax13"
            I was recently speaking to a man who attended this school for a number of years.  He recounted having his personal journal read aloud in the mess hall, and being called to attention in the mess hall, at which point his meal was shoved into his face, as he had been critical of the food in the journal.  The man said that he was then fed only Corn Flakes and water for several days, over the course of which he dug and filled in a hole repeatedly.  This same fellow also recounted being beaten with a cut-down canoe paddle.  A little touch of homo-erotic sadism goes a long way when you're a grown man punishing children.  The fact that the place has a leader who is an imposter, and parents give up responsibility for their kids to the place, says it all.
            You wouldn't happen to know of the approximate size of that hole, would you? Say... maybe 2'x6', and 6' deep?
            « Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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            Offline Oscar

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            Re: Robert Land Academy
            « Reply #22 on: February 29, 2012, 05:59:38 AM »
            Shania Twain dumped her younger brothers at Robert Land Academy so she could perform in peace:

            From Shania Twain: The Biography: Page 112 - 114

            It did not become a succes story but that is common with this facility.
            « Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

            Offline Oscar

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            Re: Robert Land Academy
            « Reply #23 on: February 29, 2012, 09:21:29 AM »
            Life at Robert Land Academy. Suicide attempts and more ....

            The Story of my life, till now...
            canadiangrizzly's Journal, October 24th, 2006

            I would like to start out with saying, I am not very good in sticking to any particular order in a story and it will more than likely jump around in time and content quite a bit, here goes it…

            It all started when I was a young lad, my mother was unable to handle my ADHD (Attention Deficit, Hyperactive Disorder). Her was of dealing with it was lots of Diazepam and sending me off to specialist to find out, what she referred to as “What’s wrong with that boy, I know something is wrong with him”
            I have quite a good memory, well at least had one; my first memories go way back to being bathed in the kitchen sink in the townhouse on Jane St. I remember the complex I grew up in very well.

            Even though I was a loner, I remember having quite fond memories of my childhood, even though I suffered from Night terrors and wet my bed till the age of 12.
            I always had problems relating to others around me, I wasn’t really interested in others,
            In socializing, or pretending to be other people, or in typical boyish “Kill them all games”. more of exploring the world around me, I preferred to spend my time in nature, or taking things apart to see what made them work.

            I was always disruptive in school, mostly because I couldn’t handle being number 31 in a large classroom, later they would discover I learned more on a one to one basis.
            They eventually placed me in special education classes, where I remained, until they finally removed them from our local education system.

            I grow up in a typical suburban family, (At the time, Typical) a mother, Father, Much older brother, older sister, a dog and a cat.

            Now going back to the specialists, I rather enjoyed the tests they gave me to perform and would rather enjoy doing them as fast and best I could. I remember my mother being told I was above normal intelligence. My father was never at any of these appointments.
            In growing up in his German background, was taught work above all else.
            So most of my childhood, he was off at work.

            All was fine, until that one specialist, from Sick children’s hospital, in Toronto, A Dr Mc Govern, I believe his name was. I don’t really remember much about the man, other then he kept referring to some kind of monkey on my back. I thought he was rather a strange man.

            Well turns out he was on the board of directors for this new type of school that opened up, So of course he recommended that I went there, for improvements. It was on a military based system. Everyone was reduced to a last name and lived the typical military themed lifestyle.

            Now of course, to make my transition easier, I had never lived away from home at this point. At least that’s what I will assume for the moment. I was sent off there ASAP, to the summer camp. Now the summer camp and school had absolutely nothing in common, quite contradictory to each other, in fact.
            The Summer Camp was for mentally challenged kids, arts and crafts orientated.
            I rather had some fond memories, even though I also couldn’t relate to any of these kids either.

            After the summer ended, I went home for a brief period, till the start of the school year at Robert Land Academy.
            As for this children of this school, they were the ones that were either sent their by the courts, for punishment, or sent there by their rich parents who were also unable to control their children. My parents on the other hand forked out $13,000/year to send me there.


            Now this is where everything went down hill in my life, I have had nightmares of this place for many years after.

            I remember arriving there on the first day; I was very scared to be in a place surrounded by so May strange people around me. Everyone was in a hurry to get sighed in and find out where they were assigned to sleep.

            Now in a military theme, a person enters as a recruit, after completing 6 weeks of training, are given a medal for their barrette, and given the lowest possible rank, cadet.
            Now I was having problems right from the very start.

            Ok this is how the routine went, as much of it as I can remember.
            For the first 6 weeks, every day we were to wake up at 5:30 and run to the stop sign and run back, I of course would be one of the last to return, I will assume for this, the stop sigh was about half a km away, maybe even 1.5 Km. Once we returned to our barracks, We had 30 min to shower, get dressed and make our beds, hospital corners and all.
            The night before we were to have shone our boots, ironed everything to perfection and have everything put away with absolute perfection.
            I of course always had at least one or two things wrong.
            I would end up having double creases in a shirt or two, my boots I could never get that spit shine polish, I still can’t do one to this day. And let’s say for the argument, my bed, sheet fold over was 4 inches too much.
            Well I would be made to run around a lap track, at first I would be given 5 laps.
            Which at the time, would take me a long time to accomplish, now since I was not able to complete the laps within a time limit that made them happy, so many laps were not counted. So I would end up running around in circles for hours on end.
            Now, most of the time I was running these laps, was at times like Lunch, Study hall time or even when I was supposed to do my evening prep.
            So of course I would end up not having my homework done, or my kit up to regulation standard.
            Now this is where the military style kicks in. In order to try and “Motivate me”. They would punish everyone in the barracks I was assigned to. Thus making everyone hate me in the end, even pull nasty pranks on me when the officer’s heads were turned away (Of course).
            I was bounced around from barracks to barracks, until no one wanted me to be in theirs.
            So in the end I was stuck in a barracks that no one else was in. all by myself.
            In the meantime, the 6 weeks had ended.
            I saw everyone else, become cadet and advance up to the lowest rank, I however not only managed to remain a recruit after the 6 weeks but, also ended up keeping that rank for the entire time I was enrolled at this school.

            I tried keeping up with everyone else, but I would just end up getting something wrong. Everything I did just was never good enough.
            All I ended up doing was running around a lap track, most times even with a vest with sand bag weights, When something would become a bit easier, they would make it harder. Every time becoming harder and mush more difficult. Their punishment style would also change. At first it would be laps, then laps with weights, then a 14 and finally a 19.
            As well as the above mentioned punishment, we would have to do certain physical exercises for punishment during lunch. Push ups, thrust squats, stand with our arms up and our palms up in the air.

            Now even in the middle of all of this going on, I managed to have one best friend in all of this. He was the first boy I ever experimented with sexually. He was the one person who made it not so bad to be stuck in a nightmare place, like it was.

            Now, in the meanwhile, the punishments would grow and grow, I was given only bread and milk for most of my meals, I was running around a lap track with weights most of the time and no one wanted me to be in their barracks.
            I also had this one teacher who, of course had to make it that one bit harder.
            His name was Mr. Sue. This teacher was a classic of corporal punishment.
            I remember things like one kid asking to go to the bathroom during class was denied and of course ended up wetting himself in his very seat. I remember he would ask me math equations and I remember when I would get the answers wrong, would pinch my cheeks and ears till they would bruise. I was very much afraid of this man as well as every officer on the campus.

            I remember my mother asking me what happened and in self defence I told her I fell down. She of course accepted the answer I gave and never looked into it any further.

            By this point I needed to get away from this environment as soon as I could.
            So I arranged for my only friend and I to run away one night, my parents thought this was the best place for me, even though they never stopped to ask any questions or even try surprise visits during this time that I had bruises on my cheeks and ear lobes.
            I mean a kid would have to fall not only repeatedly, but the places my bruises were, would have only resulted from one reason.
            So back to the AWOL, We woke up very early in the morning, ran through the back woods and walked down the train tracks till we were eventually stopped by the police.
            I remember they pulled their guns out and told us to stop and remain were we were.
            I at this point was more that ready to just continue running, and let them shoot me if they so wanted to, but my friend told me we should just do what they say.
            So back to the school,
            Of course we were given even more punishment for attempted AWOL. My parents never even came to ask me why I tried running away or what was going on at this point.

            This was the point I thought there was only two ways out…
            We both discussed the idea and both decided my way would have been less painful.
            His idea was to drink bleach and end our lives that way, mine was to mix Kwellada and orally ingest this combination.
            I remember being called away to the office and made to stand with our faces against the wall what seemed to have been for hours, they would come out and ask us again, did we really ingest this stuff, I would say “yes sir” and not say anything else.
            Finally they must have believed us and we were rushed to the emergency room and given activated charcoal.
            After we left the hospital gets a little sketchy but, what I do remember is not only did the school put the blame all on my friend, but I was to remain at this school for another year and a half.
            All traces of attempted suicide all hushed up, my parents never even asking me why, no Dr’s asked; I was not placed in any psychiatric care. Instead I was sent back to “Hell” for another year and a half, but this time, my best friend was kicked out.

            If you were to look back at my history, you will see most of it was erased. I was never allowed to be in any year book pictures, no one wanted to know I existed any longer.

            After a while everything just becomes a blur. Days melted into each other. I finally realized there was no escaping the nightmare I was in. So I just became numb.
            Finally I was kicked out due to not being able to conform after 3 years and was sent home.
            As yes a recruit.

            I have brought all this up many times to my family.
            My mother chooses to go into denial mode, she never knew.
            My father’s response, one night at supper, he let me know I deserved everything I got in this place.

            After leaving this place, it took me many years till I was finally able to trust anyone else.
            I went to shrink after shrink; I even went to a teen youth treatment centre in the country.
            Still in the back of my mind was to act like they want you to act and they will never get inside of your soul ever again.
            Yes, there was one other suicide attempt.
            After the years of nightmares and my parents denying knowing anything that happened, but when I would mention legal issues against the school, they would tell me to forget the idea and go back into denial mode.

            I had a few relationships, but I never really connected with the other person, it was always a battle,
            Just as I would start to let my walls down, they would do something to cause me to raise them again…


            Finally I met him.
            I remember the first night we connected. Going back to his place, he pulled out this book and asked me to answer a few questions. I was like, sure what ever gets your attention. It was the Myers Briggs Please understands me” book.
            I remember he tallied up the results and came to the conclusion I was an INFP, something he said was %1 of the population and he was as well.
            I became very interested in this individual. I was very much in awe at first, loved him right from the start, finally someone who wants to know me for who I was. I remember after a few days, telling him “I understand why someone would be in love with you”.
            It was my way of testing the waters.
            After a few weeks, I finally told him how much I loved him. I remember every time I would tell him I loved him, he would tell me I was not really in love with him and he didn’t believe me. Finally after 6 weeks went by, he came up to me in the kitchen, crying his heart out, there was something he was wanting to tell me, but too afraid to say anything, he though everything would change and I would not want to be with him any longer. I told him no matter what he told me, I would never leave him.
            This is when he told me he had AIDS and knew for only a year at this point.
            Even though I was a very confused man at this point in my life and had a hard time looking after myself, I knew I would never leave him.
            If I could keep one promise ever in my life, it would be to be there for him.
            Over the years we had our rough patches and I had made a lot of mistakes along the way, but I never stopped loving him.


            I to be honest up until I met him, never though I would have connected with anyone else, I thought I would try and just get through life, just living was the basis of my drive.
            Just make it through today and you will have survived yet another day.

            Being with Lawrence taught me there is much more to life, more too just living another day. I finally felt wanted for the first time in my life.

            We built up a home and I tried putting all my energy towards our home, but there was always this struggle.
            He couldn’t deal with the fact he was poz and always saw his oncoming expiry date approaching.
            This mixed with what I believe a fear of me catching what he had, put barriers up between us that I was unable to understand or deal with at that time in my life.

            After a while, he found it very uncomfortable to touch me sexually and I at the time took it personally, thought he was no longer attracted to me, or even the balance of sex vers love shifted.
            In gay relationships, men first connect by their sexual preferences, then try and make the personal connection based on that, then personality come in at second place.

            I have met many a men where we would hit it of sexually, but I just wasn’t what they wanted in a relationship, or the opposite, we would get together and hit it off but, “Sorry, we are both bottoms and you will never be able to please me in bed”.

            So my point is I would find myself start to wander towards other men. I love Lawrence very much, but all I wanted was for everything to go back to how it was at the beginning.
            In that process I made quite a few mistakes.

            We went through periods of breaking up and would get back together again.
            I would eventually end up giving in to the no sex policy. I would have done anything at that point to remain with him,

            This is all I will write for now…
            It is becoming way too hard to continue with this at this moment in time…
            « Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »