How many parents go looking for a program with this phrase in their mind? Probably all of them. So what is the general problem? They do not know what they are dealing with; an adolescent. And mostly they are not aware that this is a difficult, but normal stage of development. And, like a bad storm, it will eventually come to an end.
I feel bad for parents, I really do. My attempts at raising two teenagers have been slow and clumsy. There seems to be no rule of thumb for parenting. But we should always give love and attention, and do our best at being fair and just.
It is important to define normal adolescent behavior scientifically. Proving that adolescence is not a disease that requires treatment will be insightful to parents who have bought the "troubled teen" propaganda of fixing the abnormal behavior of kids. I have pasted some info that I found useful below, I may post more in the future. If anyone knows of any articles / essays or links pertaining to this topic, please post.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adolescent_psychologyExcerpts:
Adolescence can be a specifically turbulent as well as a dynamic period of one's life. It has been identified as a period in which young people develop abstract thinking abilities, become more aware of their sexuality, develop a clearer sense of psychological identity, and increase their independence from parents. G. Stanley Hall denoted this period as one of "Storm and Stress" and, according to him,
conflict at this developmental stage is normal and not unusual. Margaret Mead, on the other hand,
attributed the behavior of adolescents to their culture and upbringing, as the majority of problems associated with adolescence in western society are not present in other cultures.
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Early adolescence is a stage at which the peer group becomes increasingly important, with conformity to peers peaking at 11–13 years (Costanzo and Shaw 1966). 90% of adolescents identify themselves with a peer group (Palmonari, 1989). According to Judith Rich Harris's theory of group socialization, children and adolescents are shaped more by their peers than their parents (Harris 1997). Peers can encourage both prosocial behavior, which peaks at 11–12 years,
or anti-social behavior, which peaks at 14–15 years (Bendt, 1979). Adolescents are less likely to feel depressed or anxious if the peer group provides emotional support (Buhrmester, 1992).
Arguments between parents and children increase considerably during adolescence (Feeney, 1999). However, adolescents with few or no close friends are closer to their parents and are less likely to be subject to peer pressure.
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Adolescents are widely considered by the psychological establishment to be prone to recklessness and risk-taking behaviors, which can lead to substance abuse, car accidents, unsafe sex, and youth crime.
There is some evidence that this risk-taking is biologically driven, caused by the social and emotional part of the brain (amygdala) developing faster than the cognitive-control part of the brain (frontal cortex).
