Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > The Troubled Teen Industry

Apologia - Serious debate only, please!

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Anonymous:
Surely you can't believe any of this describes Debra.
It's not like I really know the lady; but I've been reading her post with interest for months and I think it very apparent none of this could be used to describe her.
I can't think of any parent involved with the battle against abusive programs that can be put in the pigeon hole your trying to shove them in.
You'll have to come up with something else.

Anonymous:
No, it wasn't meant to describe Deborah.

It does describe many parents that are in the "rescue my kid from the program" mode.  It's an acceptance issue.  They want their kids to accept them and will do anything, even if isn't in their best interests to gain that acceptance.

Obviously it goes deeper than that, but the checklist just gets them to think.  I'm co-dependent, and just being aware of the traits and getting help has been very effective in choosing another path.

Deborah:
***It does describe many parents that are in the "rescue my kid from the program" mode. It's an acceptance issue. They want their kids to accept them and will do anything, even if isn't in their best interests to gain that acceptance.***

And SO WHAT if it is? Do you consider it your business what other parents CHOOSE to do? Or does your business suffer based on their choices? It's not your place to judge them if they CHOOSE not to participate in your personal growth program or seminar.
Again, why are you so judgmental of these parents. Why are you SOOOO obviously affected by the CHOICES other parents make?

Do any of these apply for you?

If a friend or family member has a problem, is it your job to fix it?

Are you a perfectionist?

Do you feel anxiety when other people have problems that you can't solve?
**********

Ah Oh, That's three. And I think there are a few more than were not listed.

Anonymous:
Ok,

I am reading that the mail is censored, but the parents get letters claiming abuse and starvation from the students, DOES anyone else see a problem here? or just an agenda by  some people that clearly have no real experince but claim to be experts.

Ok, let me guess, they censor mail but aren't smart enough to censor the abuse, starvation etc that is in the letters because they have no creditintial and do not know how to read. Plus they are the scum of the earth.

Anonymous:
Btw, checklists for diagnosing "co-dependency" are about as scientific as horoscopes.

Codependency is the human condition-- it's caring about others and in most societies that are sane, it is valued not dismissed in favor of self-centeredness.

Second, anyone who would send a kid to a place and thinks being told to ignore accounts of abuse as "manipulation" is ok is either desperate and/or naive.

Because if all abuse is lies, ANY ABUSE CAN BE DONE and GO UNREPORTED AND UNCHALLENGED AND GO ON.

If all abuse is lies, sexual molestation and all manner of other horrors can easily go unchecked.

Prisons and hospitals have ombudsmen for complaints because they know that those in charge will automatically dismiss inmates and patients' complaints as "manipulation," whether or not they are true.  To prevent abuses of power, such checks are needed because thoese who are confined are vulnerable.  These systems were arrived out only after years of abuse and they are still far from perfect-- but they recognize that people in power will abuse that power if there is no oversight.

But in these schools, there is absolutely no one to advocate for the kids.  The parents are told not to believe them.  The kids are ignored.  The program has its own interests.

So let's say a program has this ideology, but is well intentioned.  They try to screen their employees well, but they cannot pay very much and so an abusive person or pedophile is bound to slip through at some point, particularly given the high turnover in this field and the high desirability of these jobs amongst those who want to abuse kids.

So now you've got a guy with absolute power over your daughter, and you aren't going to believe your lying kid and your kid is going to get abused.

Is this why you spent years trying to keep them safe and keep child abusers out of your neighborhoods?  Only to suddenly find strangers more believable than your own child?  Only to trust absolutely in the goodness of people working minimum wage jobs with no education or training?

How can you buy this?

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