Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > The Troubled Teen Industry
Apologia - Serious debate only, please!
Anonymous:
--- Quote ---On 2004-01-06 07:41:00, Anonymous wrote:
"
Let me explain a little better.
From your very first contact with wwasp you have been told that you will get negative letters that might be upsetting; but that its all lies.
You believe this, b/c your kid has so often lied to you.
When the letters arrive, you are already conditioned to ignore all thats upsetting; and only believe whats positive.
So, most of the mail is allowed threw.
However, on the occasions when something is said that is of a more substantial nature; and they don't wish to try and explain it; That letter you'll never see.
Maybe this isn't done in each and every wwasp program school; but it seems to be par for the coarse according to employees who have spoken about it.
"
--- End quote ---
http://fornits.com/wwf/viewtopic.php?So ... 9&start=40
Anonymous:
Okay, let's debate on mail! Whatever...
Parents DON"T ignore the allegations their child writes in the letters. How stupid is that. They are warned about the tactics the kids use, but in most cases, when a letter alleging starvation, abuse, etc., etc., is written, most if not all parents are going to check the validity. If they freak out and decide it's true without checking the facts, then their darling comes home, all happy that they once again, pulled the proverbial wool over daddy's or mommy's eyes. If they check it out, they will find it's usually another manipulation and thier kid is exactly where they need to be. This kind of letter writing comes from ALL programs in the early stages of the stay. Go figure!
What you said about letters not making it home. Then please explain why they do and why freaked out parents (co-dependent's mostly) go pick up their poor abused child?
Anonymous:
when my kid wrote home he was starving; and all they fed him was beans and rice; it was true.
He lost something akin to 25 lbs in four months; eating everything he could get his hands on.
Yes, ignoring what your kids tell you is stupid alright; but its what you do.
Deborah:
Anon wrote: They are warned about the tactics the kids use, but in most cases, when a letter alleging starvation, abuse, etc., etc., is written, most if not all parents are going to check the validity. If they freak out and decide it's true without checking the facts, then their darling comes home, all happy that they once again, pulled the proverbial wool over daddy's or mommy's eyes. If they check it out, they will find it's usually another manipulation and thier kid is exactly where they need to be. This kind of letter writing comes from ALL programs in the early stages of the stay. Go figure!
What you said about letters not making it home. Then please explain why they do and why freaked out parents (co-dependent's mostly) go pick up their poor abused child?
*************************
How does a concerned parent go about "checking the facts"? Talk to someone inside the program, the very program/people their child has accused of abuse? What kind of logic is that?
"Freaked out, co-dependent parents"?
What difference does it make to you what OTHER parents decide and do? Do you resent parents who CHOOSE to remove their kid, for whatever reason?
Why?
And the comment "little darling".
Do you dislike kids in general, or just those who you believe need "treatment"?
Let the parents decide for themselves through unmonitored communication with their child.
If you don't trust parents to make the right choices for their kids, then you have some unspoken motive or agenda- you stand to loose money or you need other parents to stay in the program to confirm that you are doing the right thing. Or as many have pointed out, you're a zealot who needs to feel you are changing the world, and resent parents who dash that illusion.
Who's co-dependent here?
PS Your comments and attitude seem to contradict what your anon buddy said:
"They can always go and pick them up if they don't feel it's the right place to be. NONE of the parents knew if it would be, some find it's not and choose another school, or bring them home. To each his own."
Which of you represent the program's attitude?
[ This Message was edited by: Deborah on 2004-01-06 19:53 ]
Anonymous:
Deborah - Program attitude? There is no "program" attitude. Each person develops their own beliefs, Attitude is a poor choice of words for beliefs.
You asked Who's Co-dependent here? Don't know. But here is a checklist: A yes to three or more of these questions would indicate that codependency is likely to be an issue.
Do you avoid confrontation at all costs?
Do you feel humiliated by even the slightest criticism?
When someone you care about is uncommunicative, do you assume that you have done something wrong?
Are you deeply distressed by expressions of anger---even if they're not directed at you?
If your partner is having a bad day, do you feel guilty about being "up"?
Do you expect your partner to recognize and accommodate your emotional needs even though you are unable to articulate them?
When you join a gathering of friends or business associates, do you immediately scan faces to determine the emotional climate in the room?
If a friend or family member has a problem, is it your job to fix it?
Do you internalize perceived slights and insults, unable to address them directly, until a day when you astonish yourself and others with a tearful or angry outburst that might be triggered by a seemingly trivial incident?
At the end of the day, do you review your interactions with others and anguish about your choice of words?
Do you work hard to maintain composure in an emotional situation? Would you leave the room if you felt that your facial expression might "give you away?"
Are you a perfectionist?
If somebody bumps you (in a grocery store, for instance) do you apologize (just for being in the way).
Do you agonize over small imperfections in your garments, home or garden that others would be unlikely to notice?
Do you feel anxiety when other people have problems that you can't solve?
Do you find it difficult to be playful around other adults?
Do you find it embarrassing to be caught doing frivolous things by your partner (like reading a comic strip)?
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