« Reply #20 on: September 10, 2011, 09:26:47 PM »
Aah. I think ya accidentally lopped off the last two lines (added in at the end):
Source: About Taylor Mangham memorial site
About me
Why was Taylor sent away early on in his 10th grade year? The year started bumpy with poor attitude, failing grades and an attitude that was unacceptable at home and in the classroom. This is not the glorious part of Taylor's life but a story that should be shared if only to help one parent or one young adult. For years, Taylor suffered from childhood depression and ADHD. In earlier years he was using drugs to hide his emotions unbeknown to me; this behavior was unfortunately familiar to me and once again rearing its ugly head within our family. The difference this time, Taylor was a little older with a bit stronger attitude. Taylor always had strong opinions about life and he certainly was never afraid to speak his mind. For example, Taylor would spend countless hours arguing at the dinner table about why on earth he had to do Algebra homework, "it is not going to help me in college" or "what if I don't go to college, all of this is a waste". While it appears all bad, there were many funny moments as well. Sunday was always our day and one day the discussion was brought up about the future, what interests do you have? Is there a specific college that stands out more? Surprisingly, Taylor's response was, “you know mom, I think I'm just going to work at McDonald's, bring home the leftover food at the end of the night and live with you until it's time to put you in a home.” Taylor had an answer for everything...and I loved that he thought ahead of where I would be later in life!!
It was always a delight when Taylor was grounded. He would get in from school and immediately a fight would ensue; I think he thought perhaps my memory was already slipping. Our fight would go back and forth until the ride was out front and Taylor felt our discussion was over and would “bolt out” of the house with, “I can't live here anymore” or, “you're to protective”. As a parent, your heart breaks but you quickly get your wits about you and begin calling friends, friends of friends and naturally no one knew where he was. Hours pass by and worry sets in so you make that dreaded call to the police that your child might be a runaway. This behavior went on for a while with many failed drug tests; my favorite line I ever heard was, “someone blew it in my face at the party over the weekend,” As a parent, it is time to solicit help from health professionals and the family doctor; protective "mom mode" takes over. The first thing to go, the phone. That is the lifeline for all young adults. Naturally, there is a pass code and though it is not given, there are very helpful professionals to assist with gaining access. One word, heartbreaking. Friends you thought were friends aren't, girls you thought were good girls, aren't. I share all of this not to dishonor Taylor, but to honor Taylor because life is short enough and I did not want Taylor lost due to drugs and alcohol. If not for all the support of a few local policemen, his family doctor and therapists it is very likely Taylor would not have survived...at least not from the path he was traveling down with drugs and alcohol. The straw broke when Taylor took the family car on a joy ride...no license and all my thoughts are consumed with his safety, the safety of others and the liability associated with his poor choice one Thursday afternoon.
Things are no doubt rocky around the house with little conversation either way. I spoke with his therapists and doctor whom both agreed for Taylor's survival, he needed something more than what the local facilities offered; we had used them in earlier years. After much research, checking references and second guessing myself every step along the way, the decision was made, a private boys academy in Virgin, Utah. A mother prays and cries....and trusts in God this is the right decision for Taylor; to save my young man's life. The arrangements were made to have Taylor transported by school officials because of the past runaway issues; and you cry as your name is signed on the paperwork to send your baby off. The week of Thanksgiving is surreal as I reflect back on the events. November 23rd, we are having dinner at the table. Taylor was quiet and use to reading his body language, somewhat embarrassed. We had a close friend over for dinner so there was ideal chit chat until Taylor looks at us both and says, “I need help or I am not going to make it.” My heart breaks a little more as I look at my precious young man crying out for help and I am unable to speak of the arrangements that had already been made. We assured Taylor, we would obtain the assistance needed but he also had to commit and be open to the help being offered. The night lingered on very slowly until the cell phone rings at 4:00 AM , November 24th, 2009, the school officials had landed at DFW and would be at the house soon. We are quietly packing his bag, crying and questioning if I am doing the right thing, Virgin, Utah? You are instructed prior to their arrival for pick-up of what you are allowed to say to your child, the child that stole your heart at birth and the older he grew he found the strings and knew exactly which ones to pull; he pulled the hardest one this time. There was paperwork to sign of which is pretty much a blur. What I remember is walking into Taylor's room and being followed by two male adults. I turn on his bedroom light and at that moment, I see the most peaceful child lying in his bed, my baby. I shake Taylor a bit to wake him and say, “Taylor babe, wake up I need you to go with these gentlemen, I love you dearly.” Taylor replies he loves me and pops up, requests a quick shower and out the door they go. I am in another room with a breaking heart and again wondering if I am doing the right thing. The officials advise you along the way of the progress and Taylor's behavior. Not surprising to me to hear was how polite and easy going Taylor was during this entire process. One shared the following, “This was the easiest transport they had ever done. Within 30 minutes Taylor shared everything and why he was 'probably' being sent away.
As a parent, it's a relief to hear how polite your child was and how open he was to complete strangers but couldn't be with me, the parent that loved him unconditionally? No, your heart (that little word again) is broken because you already know the next few months will be a challenge for us both considering we have never been separated for any length of time. No phone calls, no visits, only letter writing....yes, snail mail. The point system is 100% up to Taylor; he must follow the rules in order to gain points for privleges. Needless to say, precious had many 300 word essays within his first week. Taylor was also put on work detail, yes work detail; this consisted of moving one pile of rocks to another location for no reason at all. I can only imagine the thoughts running through Taylor's mind because he certainly was expressive about things that made no sense to him. Taylor receives a call home once he earns enough points and as you read on, you will note Taylor was working hard for that first call home, to mom. Until then...you speak with a weekly coach on Taylor's progress, therapy, issues, etc. Taylor's counselor's name was Taylor J. Taylor J. was a delightful young man of which I looked forward to our calls because Taylor and I were able to send messages back and forth through him; I am not sure if that was permitted or not?! Wednesday at 3:00 PM became my favorite day and time of the week because I knew it was Taylor J. time to hear about my precious child in their care. Thursday was my next favorite day because I would receive a letter from Taylor; Sunday was letter writing day. I wasn't sure what to expect from the first letter but for the most part, he acknowledged he needed help and was thankful...
As you continue to read on, the tab entitled “Letters” contains the letters home during Taylor's stay at the academy. If I failed to mention it earlier, the academy is an all boy's home with approximately 40 boys whom are there for one reason or another. We had the opportunity to visit the academy in the Spring 2010 and was extremely impressed with the staff as well as the openness of the young men. They shared and demonstrated with us various rituals performed each morning. They explained their days are spent studying a quote which is given on Monday to be passed off by Friday, study school work and therapy. During the first several weeks, the quote beat Taylor and he had a breakdown feeling as though he couldn't complete this program; Taylor J. and the staff counseled Taylor and gave tips on how to break down the quote and learn a section at a time reassuring him he can do anything he puts his mind to. The lightbulb went off with Taylor and he was on fire after that....he would receive the quote on Monday and by Wednesday was passing it off. As you read his letters you will see the progress made and the confidence that existed in such a wonderful young man! The remainder of Taylor's time was spent studying and reading.....Harry Potter series that is. (Many friends are laughing considering Taylor's view on those whom were followers of Harry Potter). Within the gallery contains many photos of our visit to the academy. We were blessed to hear such wonderful stories about Taylor being a leader, assisting wherever he could as well as helping “newbies” adjust to the program. And, so many comments about 'the smile', that contagious smile that never left his face despite the day he was having or his mood.
A few things we did learn while there, The Rock (picture in the gallery). If the boys were struggling and questioning “Dad” about this or that, he would have them pick up the rock and walk and talk out their problems. I must admit, this rock was large and cumbersome and believe I would have forgotten whatever my issue was after only a few steps!!
The other “funny” shared about Taylor was a roommate situation. As I mentioned earlier, Taylor is opinionated and speaks his mind. Taylor was rooming with apparently someone with a similar personality and instead of moving either boy, the desk was taped with a line as well as the room. Well, if that wasn't enough, the argument became someone's book was on the tape, seriously! The young man shared the story and all we could do was laugh. To settle the tape dispute, no book, paper or pen could touch the tape, that was the free space.
As parents, we do all we can to save and protect our children from harm which is exactly what I was doing, saving him from drugs, alcohol and peer pressure that plague so many of our young kids today. Little did I know, what I was working so diligently to save him from Taylor was taken from us due to a Brain Aneursym that had nothing to do with what I was fighting against; a silent killer. There is a letter writen by a young man that shared a room with Taylor that reveals the events of the night. It is painful to read but it gives us insight into Taylor's last moments. This loss of Taylor impacted so many young men at Liahona as well as those at Keller High School and especially our family.
This website was developed for many reasons but the main reason was to bring awareness to what is plaguing our youth on a daily basis and to bring Awareness to Brain Aneurysms. Taylor's last letter home, was the little boy I had so fondly missed but in the end, Taylor found peace. I, like most parents, searched for answers. As a mom of a wonderful young man am available to help those in need, whatever the case may be.
With love, my dearest Taylor......
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