Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Daytop Village

Daytop almost killed me

<< < (3/4) > >>

got2bme:
i can't even begin to tell you have devastated i am right now i found this site yesterday cause i was doing some soul searching and looking for people that had an influence in my life only to now realize that I will have to somehow heal from this abuse that i blocked off for the most part been spending last 4yrs dealing and healing from trauma that happened before my incarcerations in these facilities I'm remembering it all now and omg i don't know if i can stand to have to deal with yet more abuse wtf!

Inculcated:
It takes time, so take your time. I won’t say that it’s easy and that I didn’t have a similar reaction. On the one hand, I needed to be purging my Daytop experiences because they were an indelible ugly reinforcement of other abuses I had endured as a kid as well as having a reverberating effect on my experiences thereafter, but it did seem at first as overwhelming as it was validating.  Take your time. Ask questions if you need to. This forum is moderated by SEKTO, but you can also pm me and Paul ST. John is around and these are just a couple of the really warm and compassionate people I have met through this site. I’ve even gotten a lot of support and insights from people who never went to Daytop.

got2bme:
ty for your concern i'm nauseated with disgust but i will be fine i have learned new coping skills but this realization really hurts
right now i feel like i need some justice and don't know how to get it
I am fed up and tired of being silent

Awake:
got2bme, I relate very much to your story, and like you had a disturbing experience when I finally stumbled upon some information that triggered my memory of what happened.  My program, Cedu, had quite a bit in common with Daytop, one such thing was the marathon group.   They pressured you in different ways, and used trickery even, to get you to reveal early traumas, shameful acts or feelings of inadequacy.  It’s hard to explain because generally in the program confession was such a constant demand that you always had to be armed with something to say, but somehow in the marathons (we called them propheets) they very strategically got me to say some things I really didn’t want to, and there were lots of things I did not want to hear about others.  It was traumatic to me for different reasons, but it mostly left me with a lot of anxiety and destroyed my faith in myself and others.  There was no real ‘help’, the promise was a sham. But I had already handed them my soul, submitted my defective nature before theirs.  The argument would always be more right that …” it is not the program that doesn't work, it is that you are not working hard enough on confronting your issues.” And I actually believed that too.


Thanks for offering your story on here got2bme, it is tragic. to me it is sort of classic reason for why forcing therapy on someone, making them confront a trauma before they are ready, is dangerous and wrong, especially using such methods as marathons.  I think a lot of kids were harmed in a similar way.

got2bme:
been doing alot of digging looking for answers validation at this point is important cause all my life i thought i was some crazy animal this was worthless horrible bad person which i now and realizing i'm not
and just tonight i did a youtube search on daytop village and there were only 3 the pertained to daytop and 1 was of the class that was there when i was there and in fact i am in one of the pics in slideshow but whats disturbing is everyone looks happy but but that was not happy times the that saved my life by finding in the bathroom by breaking into through the window and the staff member that picked me up from icu dropped me off on my mothers doorstep
btw i never got chance to go back and pack my things they all my stuff in trash bags in the van so had no chance for any goodbyes :(

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

[*] Previous page