Author Topic: What does work?  (Read 2003 times)

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Offline AdviseAMom

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What does work?
« on: May 04, 2011, 12:35:58 PM »
My son has been using marajauna for about a year.  He's 14.  Six months ago he started huffing and he was snorting something but I don't know what because whatever it is isn't showing up in a screen.  He's been seeing a counselor, psychologist, and psychiatrist for roughly 2 - 3 years.  He's attended school roughly 50% of the time this year and will have to repeat next year if he isn't expelled.  We go to court at the end of the month (more larceny from breaking in to neighbor's homes) and I'm told we may be given the choice between juvie and a residential program.  We've been "sentenced" to outpatient drug rehab before.  He told his friends he wants to live at juvie because he can't get drugs at home.  

I'm a single mom and I've been keeping him when he is out of school etc. but my job is on the line now because I've missed so much this year too.  I started looking at residential programs because even though we've eaten up all our savings on these (legal issues, doctors, emergency rooms (suicide attempt), and short term stabilization), I can take out a loan against my retirement and get him into something if it would help him.

I've read the forums and you tell people to work with them, and I have endlessly but I'm pretty sure I can't do anything that is going to work because he doesn't want me to help him.  Whenever I try to do anything with him at all, he runs away and gets high.

Isn't there any good and caring program out there?  Isn't there anything or anyone that can help a child who is unhappy?  I don't want to lose my son.  I don't want him to go to prison/juvie.  I don't want him to die.  I don't want us to become homeless.  What do we do?

Thanks.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline blombrowski

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Re: What does work?
« Reply #1 on: May 04, 2011, 01:06:19 PM »
In some states there are alternative to incarceration programs that are evidence-based treatments in that they have been shown to reduce recidivism as compared to juvenile corrections or residential treatment.  These programs are Mulit-Systemic Therapy and Functional Family Therapy.

They are particularly designed for the kinds of behaviors you are reporting your son to have, truancy, substance use, and minor criminal involvement.

Just because your Family Court Judge hasn't offered it as an option yet, does not mean such an option doesn't exist in your community.  Though it isn't a resource yet that exists in every community.  I wouldn't call it a magic bullet, but it has a better chance of working than any kind of out-of-home care.

These programs may be different than what you've experienced so far, because they are ecological in nature, in that they work with your son in his school and in his home.  If you don't mind the question, what community are you from?
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline AdviseAMom

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Re: What does work?
« Reply #2 on: May 04, 2011, 01:39:28 PM »
We are in the Raleigh area.  I would love to know if there is anything like that in our area. Thank you.

Edited to say that I've found a functional family therapy program for Durham County residents.  I'm in Wake, but I'll call them anyway and maybe they will have a suggestion.  Apparently no multi=systemic therapy programs that I could find.

I will be checking this website for anyone's suggestions regularly.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Ursus

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Re: What does work?
« Reply #3 on: May 06, 2011, 12:35:59 PM »
Quote from: "blombrowski"
I wouldn't call it a magic bullet...
I think our culture's expectation of such is a huge part of the supportive understructure of this industry...
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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Offline Pile of Dead Kids

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Re: What does work?
« Reply #4 on: May 06, 2011, 02:08:06 PM »
Oh, I don't know, Ursus. Seems to me that bullets and these places have some things in common.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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Offline Dethgurl

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Re: What does work?
« Reply #5 on: May 06, 2011, 07:49:18 PM »
Quote from: "Pile of Dead Kids"
Oh, I don't know, Ursus. Seems to me that bullets and these places have some things in common.

ya DEATH :poison:
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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Offline Paul St. John

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Re: What does work?
« Reply #6 on: May 09, 2011, 05:20:25 PM »
I have to say that if your son is robbing your neighbors homes, then he is criminal, and he will be lucky if he does not go to juvie.  He's earned it. And if you want to keep him out, he is going to have to make his plea to a judge, so that he can get probation or something of the sort. He is going to have to want to stay out.  He is going to have to want to make a change, and he is going to have to convince the family court that he will do it, and that he is very remorseful for what he has done.

If he is already going to a therapist, then at least you have been able to get him to do that, so he is not a total loose cannon.  I would look to get him to a better therapist..  Of course that is easier said then done....  Basically, I think the best ones are ones that are goal-oriented, and self-esteem oriented.. or just anyone that will look you in the eye and say.. Yeah.. I can probably taker care of that... They are out there.

These questions are like almost impossible to answer, because I am not there, and I do not knwo the specifics.. but a role model could help.. Someone who does the right thing and has good values, but is thougher then him!  

Paul
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Edward Kahn

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Re: What does work?
« Reply #7 on: May 11, 2011, 03:04:05 PM »
Quote from: "AdviseAMom"
My son has been using marajauna for about a year.  He's 14.  Six months ago he started huffing and he was snorting something but I don't know what because whatever it is isn't showing up in a screen.  He's been seeing a counselor, psychologist, and psychiatrist for roughly 2 - 3 years.  He's attended school roughly 50% of the time this year and will have to repeat next year if he isn't expelled.  We go to court at the end of the month (more larceny from breaking in to neighbor's homes) and I'm told we may be given the choice between juvie and a residential program.  We've been "sentenced" to outpatient drug rehab before.  He told his friends he wants to live at juvie because he can't get drugs at home.  

I'm a single mom and I've been keeping him when he is out of school etc. but my job is on the line now because I've missed so much this year too.  I started looking at residential programs because even though we've eaten up all our savings on these (legal issues, doctors, emergency rooms (suicide attempt), and short term stabilization), I can take out a loan against my retirement and get him into something if it would help him.

I've read the forums and you tell people to work with them, and I have endlessly but I'm pretty sure I can't do anything that is going to work because he doesn't want me to help him.  Whenever I try to do anything with him at all, he runs away and gets high.

Isn't there any good and caring program out there?  Isn't there anything or anyone that can help a child who is unhappy?  I don't want to lose my son.  I don't want him to go to prison/juvie.  I don't want him to die.  I don't want us to become homeless.  What do we do?

Thanks.

Hello, AdviseAMom!  Please don't take the feedback from these anti-parent choice treatment people too serously.  Just give me a call at 1-800-SUCCESS and let's get your child the placement that he needs at a bonafide traditional boarding school with special purpose.

You are just a single phone call away from the Child of Your Dreams.  Don't hesitate.  Make that call right now!
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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