I was between 10th and 11th grade when I arrived at the Seed. Given the drugs I was doing and the value system I was developing, my friends kept getting worse, and I was commited and determined in my bad choices. I was really doing some damage to myself. So as much as I hated sitting in a chair from 10 to 10 on stateroad 84, it took me out of that cycle and I was able to clean up and get back on track. I never graduated and was excommunicated by other members when I was pulled out.
The experience of the drugs and the Seed was intense and although I got back on track in life I felt very different from my peers in high school and I never really felt normal after that. It is hard for me to tell how much was the intensity of the Seed and how much was the recogniton of the reality of my behavior and choices in the drug experience, including how much worse it could have been if I continued. But, I really needed alot of work when I got out of the Seed and the trainwreck of addiction.
I relapsed with alcohol 30(not knowing about cross addiction) and now have 17 years in AA. When I got to AA determined to complete that program I went to alot of meetings and spent alot of time in the literature, sponsoring, forming genuine freindships. I could not find that kind of depth in the Seed. Part of it was my rebellion and part of it in my opinioin was that kind of depth was not there. In treatment today they typically try to set peaple up to continue with AA where there real recovery takes place with time and effort.
So my complaint is they should have referenced AA and the AA literature. A referal to AA would have been nice when I was booted out and excommunicated. Instead of thier "you will be back because this is the only solution attitude". In my opinion now, the Seed was simply bootleg AA in a controlled enviroment.
Also the whole demonizing of druggies, was effective and even true. But I have wondered if that brainwashing has made me untrusting to say the least for life in a distorted way.
On a positive note, from that experience I was able to turn my life around. By the time I was booted, I was clear and drugs and hanging drug users was a bad idea.
I remember a black staff member, Carl. I beleive he was a barber. He treated me well and I have never forgotten it. Also, although I rebelled and hated the whole deal when I was there. I learned alot that has served me well in not drifting back to where I was. Looking back, I think the staff members I dealt with were doing thier best to do the right things in a tough environment/business.