Another issue is the misconception of how one can be forced to perform oral sex. While I was fortunate to have an incredible support system, they sometimes seemed to require an explanation as to how this could occur, which just exacerbated my shame. Although others may not be able to understand, it is of course possible to be forced to perform oral sex.
There are, quite literally, thousands upon thousands of people to whom this has happened. There are many
support groups on the internet where their horrifying accounts can be read.
Unfortunately, this has happened to many women, men and children. For someone to say that this could not have happened is stunning ignorance to say the least. It shows a lack of understanding about sexual assault and is callous and degrading to the victims of sexual assault.
One of the most challenging aspects of my rape was being forced to perform oral sex on my rapist. Unlike vaginal rape, it can be difficult coming to terms with feeling like an active participant in the abuse. While we know we didn’t want it, we still see ourselves doing it, even though it wasn’t a consensual act. This participation brings on a level of shame that can often feel unbearable.
The challenge in healing stems from a variety of issues. First, there is general embarrassment that comes from discussing oral sex. It is often the topic of many jokes, but it is not typically a conversation for “polite” company. This made discussing it very difficult and compounded the shame I felt.
Oral rape is quite real, damaging and painful. To say that this could not have happened to a child in an institutional setting is beyond comprehension for most thinking people. It obviously happened to this poor child. It happens in our prison systems every day.
Saying the child "would have bitten the attacker if this really happened" is just another way of blaming the sexual assault victim, a phenomenon far too commonly employed by the most staggeringly ignorant among us. The person who wrote that should educate themselves about sexual assaults before blaming the child victim for his own rape. The lack of compassion in that statement is absolutely amazing.
