Author Topic: Where should I send my troubled teen?  (Read 3459 times)

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Offline Shadyacres

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Re: Where should I send my troubled teen?
« Reply #15 on: November 12, 2010, 03:04:34 PM »
Quote from: "Gonzotherapy"
Quote from: "Troll Control"
Hi, Whooter!  How did I know you couldn't stay away? :feedtrolls:

Man, if this is Whooter I'm gonna be pissed. Any way we can find out?


Of course it's Whooter but it doesn't matter, the argument "queenmom" is using is used by programs, and by parents, every day. Our advice is still valid for any non-trolls reading this.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline heretik

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Re: Where should I send my troubled teen?
« Reply #16 on: November 12, 2010, 03:28:26 PM »
Queenmom,


http://aacap.org/page.ww?name=Children+ ... r+Families

American Academy Of Child & Adolescent Phychiatry
   
Children With Oppositional Defiant Disorder

Facts For Families

No. 72; June 2009
 

All children are oppositional from time to time, particularly when tired, hungry, stressed or upset.  They may argue, talk back, disobey, and defy parents, teachers, and other adults.  Oppositional behavior is often a normal part of development for two to three year olds and early adolescents.  However, openly uncooperative and hostile behavior becomes a serious concern when it is so frequent and consistent that it stands out when compared with other children of the same age and developmental level and when it affects the child’s social, family and academic life.


In children with Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), there is an ongoing pattern of uncooperative, defiant, and hostile behavior toward authority figures that seriously interferes with the youngster’s day to day functioning.  Symptoms of ODD may include:

    * Frequent temper tantrums
    * Excessive arguing with adults
    * Often questioning rules
    * Active defiance and refusal to comply with adult requests and rules
    * Deliberate attempts to annoy or upset people
    * Blaming others for his or her mistakes or misbehavior
    * Often being touchy or easily annoyed by others
    * Frequent anger and resentment
    * Mean and hateful talking when upset
    * Spiteful attitude and revenge seeking

The symptoms are usually seen in multiple settings, but may be more noticeable at home or at school.  One to sixteen percent of all school-age children and adolescents have ODD.  The causes of ODD are unknown, but many parents report that their child with ODD was more rigid and demanding that the child’s siblings from an early age.  Biological, psychological and social factors may have a role.


A child presenting with ODD symptoms should have a comprehensive evaluation
.  It is important to look for other disorders which may be present; such as, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), learning disabilities, mood disorders (depression, bipolar disorder) and anxiety disorders.  It may be difficult to improve the symptoms of ODD without treating the coexisting disorder.  Some children with ODD may go on to develop conduct disorder.

Treatment of ODD may include
:
Parent Management Training Programs to help parents and others manage the child’s behavior.  Individual Psychotherapy to develop more effective anger management.  Family Psychotherapy to improve communication and mutual understanding.  Cognitive Problem-Solving Skills Training and Therapies to assist with problem solving and decrease negativity.  Social Skills Training to increase flexibility and improve social skills and frustration tolerance with peers.

Medication may be helpful in controlling some of the more distressing symptoms of ODD as well as the symptoms related to coexistent conditions such as ADHD, anxiety and mood disorders.

A child with ODD can be very difficult for parents.  These parents need support and understanding.  Parents can help their child with ODD in the following ways:

    * Always build on the positives, give the child praise and positive reinforcement when he shows flexibility or cooperation.
    * Take a time-out or break if you are about to make the conflict with your child worse, not better.  This is good modeling for your child.  Support your child if he decides to take a time-out to prevent overreacting.
    * Pick your battles.  Since the child with ODD has trouble avoiding power struggles, prioritize the things you want your child to do.  If you give your child a time-out in his room for misbehavior, don’t add time for arguing.  Say “your time will start when you go to your room.”
    * Set up reasonable, age appropriate limits with consequences that can be enforced consistently.
    * Maintain interests other than your child with ODD, so that managing your child doesn’t take all your time and energy.  Try to work with and obtain support from the other adults (teachers, coaches, and spouse) dealing with your child.
    * Manage your own stress with healthy life choices such as exercise and relaxation.  Use respite care and other breaks as needed

Many children with ODD will respond to the positive parenting techniques.
Parents may ask their pediatrician or family physician to refer them to a child and adolescent psychiatrist or qualified mental health professional  who can diagnose and treat ODD and any coexisting psychiatric condition.

Please read this article and others, you will find that none are suggesting sending your child to a rehab, program or treatment center for ODD. Actually they are stipulating that you first get a complete diagnosis and prepare yourself as parents to work extra diligently to manage your child's condition. It is not his fault if in fact it is found out he suffers from psychiatric conditions (I am not saying he/her is not responsible for his actions, they are.)  
All I am saying is the job of the parent will not be easy and you will have to work harder for your child's sake. I believe they are worth it.

These programs are not staffed with qualified psychiatrists and assistants to deal with conditions we are talking about here and the schooling with a little investigation, will show lack of accreditation.

I know it can be frustrating when a child is going through a rough time in his life, I have been there myself and with a child also. I chose to just let him be, stayed supportive and was always there. I had the benefit to know if I had sent him to a program it would have made his problems worse. He would have seen it as a punishment instead of a vehicle to help him, he also would have figured out that these programs are inadequate (to be kind) and been even more resentful of me.
I would have compounded the problems he was trying to fight through. Yes fight, he is a child they cry first then they fight. Natural mechanisms for dealing with confusion and lack of processing for a child. The marijuana can almost be a form of release for him (not that I am advocating smoking pot) I am not just saying your child needs a release for his pent up emotions.
Stay with your child through this time physically, let him know even if he wants to leave he can touch you at anytime this is extremely important.
Do not abandon him.
« Last Edit: November 12, 2010, 05:33:34 PM by heretik »

Offline Awake

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Re: Where should I send my troubled teen?
« Reply #17 on: November 12, 2010, 03:39:30 PM »
(^ Some nice points to consider Heretik)

I would too consider,Queenmom, that his behavior issues may stem directly from power struggles or interpersonal problems in your family, and taking this step may make a mountain out of a mole hill, and something that may be a passing phase may become permanent.  Have you told him you are considering this yet? If not, what are you planning on saying to him when you do?



.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Gonzotherapy

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Re: Where should I send my troubled teen?
« Reply #18 on: November 12, 2010, 03:49:22 PM »
I had no idea, this is the first time I have heard of ODD and OH MY GOD what a crock of psychobabble BS. Oppositional defiant disorder? Back in my day they called it being a teenager. Seriously, is there a pharmeceutical "cure" for this one too? Like ADD? Let's start feeding 5 year olds ritalin because they won't sit down in front of the TV and shut up all day. Sweet Jesus, the people who come up with this stuff should be the ones sent away to a program.

Kids defy their parents, if a kid did not do this I would think there is something wrong with them. It's called growing up. At some point in your life you have to buck against the system to figure life out for yourself, it's part of being an intelligent person. If you just accept the world and all its rules without ever questioning any of it you are a sheep. Of course this is what the government wants, a bunch of pharmaceutically hazed judgement accepting tax paying sheep. ODD, what a crock. Another scapegoat for shitty parenting if you ask me.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Awake

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Re: Where should I send my troubled teen?
« Reply #19 on: November 12, 2010, 04:08:26 PM »
I think ODD is a pretty dubious label also. Imagine a teen going through a normal phase of development, maybe a little less gracefully, and with a little too much scrutiny. Wouldn’t it further aggravate the teen to be labeled ODD and be forced to accept that he is sick and needs treatment? I think it is easy to imagine that the negative behavior can be generated BY the (mis) labeling of the teen. Unfortunately, the teens defiance only works against him to reinforce the label.  I have written on fornits about this kind of double bind. I think communicating about how he feels when hes labeled like that might help to uncover issues in the family in an environment where he is an equal.

viewtopic.php?f=9&t=30423&hilit=double+bind%3A+mind+control

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« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline jaredsmom

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Re: Where should I send my troubled teen?
« Reply #20 on: November 12, 2010, 05:13:02 PM »
Queenmom,

Check with your school board to see if your state offers a Challenge program.  This is a free, voluntary program that lasts five months.  It's basically a military boot camp where kids also get their GED.  They can leave the program if they want, but many stay on once they open up to the training.  They interview the candidates and have them wait a bit to make sure they stay clean in order to prove they really want to be there.
I suggest taking this avenue before sending him to a private program against his will.  Teens like to feel like they are in control if their own life and to restrict that might make him resentful.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Gonzotherapy

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Re: Where should I send my troubled teen?
« Reply #21 on: November 12, 2010, 05:35:30 PM »
Quote from: "jaredsmom"
Queenmom,

Check with your school board to see if your state offers a Challenge program.  This is a free, voluntary program that lasts five months.  It's basically a military boot camp where kids also get their GED.  They can leave the program if they want, but many stay on once they open up to the training.  They interview the candidates and have them wait a bit to make sure they stay clean in order to prove they really want to be there.
I suggest taking this avenue before sending him to a private program against his will.  Teens like to feel like they are in control if their own life and to restrict that might make him resentful.

I thought Subway changed Jared's life.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Shadyacres

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Re: Where should I send my troubled teen?
« Reply #22 on: November 12, 2010, 05:37:11 PM »
Take the money you are considering wasting on one of these places and give it to your kid.  Never thought of that one did you?  Maybe he just needs you to show some faith in him.  But of course no program parent would consider that because that would empower the teen to make his own decisions, exactly what these parents do not want to let him do.  No faith.
« Last Edit: November 12, 2010, 05:42:33 PM by Shadyacres »

Offline heretik

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Re: Where should I send my troubled teen?
« Reply #23 on: November 12, 2010, 05:37:44 PM »
Quote from: "Awake"
I think ODD is a pretty dubious label also. Imagine a teen going through a normal phase of development, maybe a little less gracefully, and with a little too much scrutiny. Wouldn’t it further aggravate the teen to be labeled ODD and be forced to accept that he is sick and needs treatment? I think it is easy to imagine that the negative behavior can be generated BY the (mis) labeling of the teen. Unfortunately, the teens defiance only works against him to reinforce the label.  I have written on fornits about this kind of double bind. I think communicating about how he feels when hes labeled like that might help to uncover issues in the family in an environment where he is an equal.

viewtopic.php?f=9&t=30423&hilit=double+bind%3A+mind+control

.

Amen!!!!!
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Gonzotherapy

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Re: Where should I send my troubled teen?
« Reply #24 on: November 12, 2010, 06:24:59 PM »
Here you go Queenmom, this is my #1 recommendation.
http://www.darckenu-israel.com/darckenu/

If your gonna fuck your kid up at least go balls out with it.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline shaggys

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Re: Where should I send my troubled teen?
« Reply #25 on: November 12, 2010, 06:47:30 PM »
ODD???? Really???? That sounds like some crok of shit cooked up by a program pusher to scare parents. It has to be.

To "Queenmom", Especially stay away from privately owned institutions. They are only interested in your checkbook, not your child. Check into state run programs that operate on military bases and are run by active duty military personnel. These do exist and although not perfect they do seem to have some measure of accountability as the staff are subject to military as well as civilian law. I am not personally endorsing those programs mind you but I do know a kid that went through one and seems to have had a positive experience.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »