Unfortunately this New Year's message comes from within Saughton Prison where I am currently being held following an unfortunate misunderstanding before Christmas.
At our work Christmas party night I resolved to get in the party mood and join in all the dancing and party games. The DJ played "The Twist" so I twisted. Then he played "Jump" so I jumped. Then he played "Come on Eileen" and that's when the police were called.........
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!