General Interest > Addiction Treatment Philosophy
How to get sober
Samara:
I think key is not enabling. I sort of hate that word as it has become quite a cliche.
But don't continue to shit rainbows to cover up tracks.
Someone gets another DUI, don't chauffer them.
Say "hey, don't bother hiding your bottles. We all know anyway."
Let them know you might bring them cookies, but you won't bail them out of jail.
No need to get in a crazy epic battle over reality. Stop having expectations of them they cannot fill while using.
Give them some good information for support when they are ready, don't clean up their messes, don't pretend you don't know what you know, don't allow yourself to be used. Don't lecture, don't nag, and don't tiptoe around the truth either. Let them take the consequences because you can't force them until they are ready. (or if)
But also, the choices of adults are their own. So, accept them as is, walk away, or find a middle ground.
Now, if it were MY kid slamming tracks or tweaking, I would implant a GPS on him, follow him everywhere, beat the crap out of anyone who sells to him and make their fucking life miserable and then handcuff him to my side. That's all. Nothing extreme.
psy:
--- Quote from: "Samara" ---Someone gets another DUI, don't chauffer them.
--- End quote ---
See. But that can sometimes make things worse. If the person loses their job as a result of not being able to get to work, and the rest of their life falls apart, they're likely to drink far more, not less. Stress and depression have a direct correlation with compulsive behavior. The "tough love" approach often leads to more problems.
I'd agree with the bail bit and most of what you said, but when something is salvageable and there is a lot to lose... If you're a friend you might as well help out. The whole "must hit rock bottom" thing is a myth. Smokers don't have to hit rock bottom to quit smoking and it's the same with any substance.
Samara:
Note I said... ANOTHER DUI.
Also, from my perspective as a single Mom busting her ass for two kids while working and completing my thesis, I don't have any time in my life for someone who doesn't have their shit together. I won't parent an adult.
DannyB II:
--- Quote from: "psy" ---
--- Quote from: "Samara" ---Someone gets another DUI, don't chauffer them.
--- End quote ---
See. But that can sometimes make things worse. If the person loses their job as a result of not being able to get to work, and the rest of their life falls apart, they're likely to drink far more, not less. Stress and depression have a direct correlation with compulsive behavior. The "tough love" approach often leads to more problems.
I'd agree with the bail bit and most of what you said, but when something is salvageable and there is a lot to lose... If you're a friend you might as well help out. The whole "must hit rock bottom" thing is a myth. Smokers don't have to hit rock bottom to quit smoking and it's the same with any substance.
--- End quote ---
Psy, you have never been a addict or drunk how would you know this. This is not something you can read in a book from others such as yourself. There is not a cold stone addict or drunk here that would not say the had to hit the bottom, now that is all relative. I don't believe you have to have a lung removed before you quit smoking. During my active using I quit smoking, just hated it. There has to be some low, where you are just sick and tired of living the way you are.
I can say this take a survey of active dope fiends and alcoholics and see how life is going for them, I can tell ya it is not going on a high road.
Hitting rock bottom is a metaphor in most cases today.
psy:
--- Quote from: "DannyB II" ---Psy, you have never been a addict or drunk how would you know this.
--- End quote ---
Do doctors need to have had cancer to understand it? Do psychologists have to have psychoses to diagnose and treat patients? Just because i'm neither a lush nor a member of your fruity little club doesn't mean I can't have a valid opinion on the subject and provide solid facts.
--- Quote ---This is not something you can read in a book from others such as yourself.
--- End quote ---
Yes it is. There are these things known as "studies" from this field known as "science" from which you can learn objective truths.
--- Quote ---There is not a cold stone addict or drunk here that would not say the had to hit the bottom, now that is all relative.
--- End quote ---
There's a catch 22. If a person recovers, they hit their (relative) rock bottom. If not, they haven't hit rock bottom yet. It's silly.
--- Quote ---I don't believe you have to have a lung removed before you quit smoking. During my active using I quit smoking, just hated it. There has to be some low, where you are just sick and tired of living the way you are.
--- End quote ---
All you're really saying is that a person has to have a strong desire to quit. That's just common sense. Does it require they destroy their lives in order to gain that desire? I don't believe so.
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