Author Topic: How to get sober  (Read 4364 times)

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Offline Maximilian

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How to get sober
« on: September 10, 2010, 07:06:34 PM »
Note to admin: This thread can be moved to the drug recovery forums once they are created, but since I didn't want it in the open free for all I figured this was the best topic to put it in.


If someone came to you and asked you for advice on how to get sober, how would you advise that they go about this? Please answer this for the two different scenarios.

Scenario 1: The person who comes to you is the father of an older teen about to turn 18 who is addicted to heroin and has almost died from it several times. The teen has been in trouble with the law several times for drug use and crimes related to obtaining the drug. The teen uses every single day and when asked says they can't stop on their own and need help.

Scenario 2: A close friend of yours discloses that they are a secret alcoholic, and have to drink massive amounts of alcohol daily just to fend off the withdrawal symptoms. They tell you that they can barely keep their life together, but they are a functioning alcoholic in their 30's. They have a family that knows about the drinking since this person comes home drunk almost every night. What the family doesn't know is this person has bottles stashed everywhere and starts drinking as soon as they wake up, until they go to bed. They are reluctant to enter rehab because they fear losing their job, and come to you and ask you for advice.

What would you advise in these situations to the person struggling with addiction?
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Offline Pile of Dead Kids

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Re: How to get sober
« Reply #1 on: September 10, 2010, 07:14:00 PM »
Hand him a bottle of top-quality beer and tell him not to drink it.

/thread
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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Offline Shadyacres

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Re: How to get sober
« Reply #2 on: September 10, 2010, 11:22:48 PM »
both of those people need medically supervised detox.  Family and peer support ( non coercive ) are the most important thing after that.  The adult is going to have to tell his job something, there is no easy way to detox from heavy alcohol dependance.
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Offline Shadyacres

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Re: How to get sober
« Reply #3 on: September 10, 2010, 11:31:01 PM »
And I would tell both of them not to listen to any idiots who might try to tell them they are powerless.  They know they have free will already, do not try to deceive them.
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Offline psy

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Re: How to get sober
« Reply #4 on: September 10, 2010, 11:37:23 PM »
Scenario 1: Ibogaine (and/or other withdrawal drugs) and therapy.  Perhaps a support group such as SOS or SMART.  New group of friends who don't use smack to avoid temptation (optional but easier).

Scenario 2: If the person is functioning and does not want to quit, leave it alone.  If it's just a case of fending off withdrawal symptoms, Antabuse can help, as well as having a friend remove all alcohol from the home.  Like above, therapy and a support group can also help.
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Offline Shadyacres

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Re: How to get sober
« Reply #5 on: September 10, 2010, 11:47:53 PM »
If you are detoxing at home, weed was one of the most useful tools in overcoming my own heroin addiction.  Ironically, heroin was the most useful tool in overcoming my alcoholism.
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Offline psy

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Re: How to get sober
« Reply #6 on: September 11, 2010, 12:00:01 AM »
Quote from: "Shadyacres"
If you are detoxing at home, weed was one of the most useful tools in overcoming my own heroin addiction.
I know two friends who have done it that way.  I know two other who quit drinking that way.  In some states you can get prescriptions for the purpose.
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Benchmark Young Adult School - bad place [archive.org link]
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"Our services are free; we do not make a profit. Parents of troubled teens ourselves, PURE strives to create a safe haven of truth and reality." - Sue Scheff - August 13th, 2007 (fukkin surreal)

Offline DannyB II

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Re: How to get sober
« Reply #7 on: September 11, 2010, 12:00:53 AM »
Nothing like having another addict hand you a Hershey bar and tell you, "you can do it another day".
Lets get honest here now dudes, kicking Dope and Wild Irish Rose is probably not happening on the street, I for one bring these folks to the detox centers (usually hospitals have them) so they can get medical attention and then try to find a 30 treatment center. The withdrawals are a mother [email protected]#%er and relapse is easy in the first 15-30 days after detox.
After your 30 day stint I would try to find something to fill the huge void that will be in your life, moving out of the town, state is good, changing playmates is good, if you feel alone and want others who are like you to help I would try AA/NA, counseling, there are other groups of various names that one time abusers of alcohol and drugs congregate at. Everyone is right AA/NA is not the only option there are others just be active in looking for your help.
Just take it slow but be steady in your activities, find work that best suits your emotional and mental state at the time. Don't try to fix everything in a week.
Last but not least spend time when you can educating yourself on this self destructive behavior your recovering from.
Good luck, don't be afraid to help the next guy either.
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Offline DannyB II

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Re: How to get sober
« Reply #8 on: September 11, 2010, 12:03:54 AM »
Quote from: "Shadyacres"
If you are detoxing at home, weed was one of the most useful tools in overcoming my own heroin addiction.  Ironically, heroin was the most useful tool in overcoming my alcoholism.
Well first folks would have to be a dope fiend to understand the statement heroin help me quit drinking. You either stop craving it or threw up every time.
I am thinking.
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Offline Shadyacres

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Re: How to get sober
« Reply #9 on: September 11, 2010, 01:07:23 AM »
Yup, for me at least, alcohol and dope did not go together well.
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Offline Samara

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Re: How to get sober
« Reply #10 on: September 11, 2010, 12:24:02 PM »
I think key is not enabling. I sort of hate that word as it has become quite a cliche.

But don't continue to shit rainbows to cover up tracks.

Someone gets another DUI, don't chauffer them.  

Say "hey, don't bother hiding your bottles. We all know anyway."  

Let them know you might bring them cookies, but you won't bail them out of jail.

No need to get in a crazy epic battle over reality. Stop having expectations of them they cannot fill while using.

Give them some good information for support when they are ready, don't clean up their messes, don't pretend you don't know what you know, don't allow yourself to be used. Don't lecture, don't nag, and don't tiptoe around the truth either.  Let them take the consequences because you can't force them until they are ready. (or if)

But also, the choices of adults are their own. So, accept them as is, walk away, or find a middle ground.

Now, if it were MY kid slamming tracks or tweaking, I would implant a GPS on him, follow him everywhere, beat the crap out of anyone who sells to him and make their fucking life miserable and then handcuff him to my side. That's all. Nothing extreme.
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Offline psy

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Re: How to get sober
« Reply #11 on: September 11, 2010, 12:37:23 PM »
Quote from: "Samara"
Someone gets another DUI, don't chauffer them.

See.  But that can sometimes make things worse. If the person loses their job as a result of not being able to get to work, and the rest of their life falls apart, they're likely to drink far more, not less.  Stress and depression have a direct correlation with compulsive behavior.  The "tough love" approach often leads to more problems.

I'd agree with the bail bit and most of what you said, but when something is salvageable and there is a lot to lose...  If you're a friend you might as well help out.  The whole "must hit rock bottom" thing is a myth.  Smokers don't have to hit rock bottom to quit smoking and it's the same with any substance.
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Offline Samara

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Re: How to get sober
« Reply #12 on: September 11, 2010, 12:43:14 PM »
Note I said... ANOTHER DUI.

Also, from my perspective as a single Mom busting her ass for two kids while working and completing my thesis, I don't have any time in my life for someone who doesn't have their shit together. I won't parent an adult.
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Offline DannyB II

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Re: How to get sober
« Reply #13 on: September 11, 2010, 01:23:07 PM »
Quote from: "psy"
Quote from: "Samara"
Someone gets another DUI, don't chauffer them.

See.  But that can sometimes make things worse. If the person loses their job as a result of not being able to get to work, and the rest of their life falls apart, they're likely to drink far more, not less.  Stress and depression have a direct correlation with compulsive behavior.  The "tough love" approach often leads to more problems.

I'd agree with the bail bit and most of what you said, but when something is salvageable and there is a lot to lose...  If you're a friend you might as well help out.  The whole "must hit rock bottom" thing is a myth.  Smokers don't have to hit rock bottom to quit smoking and it's the same with any substance.

Psy, you have never been a addict or drunk how would you know this. This is not something you can read in a book from others such as yourself. There is not a cold stone addict or drunk here that would not say the had to hit the bottom, now that is all relative. I don't believe you have to have a lung removed before you quit smoking. During my active using I quit smoking, just hated it. There has to be some low, where you are just sick and tired of living the way you are.
I can say this take a survey of active dope fiends and alcoholics and see how life is going for them, I can tell ya it is not going on a high road.
Hitting rock bottom is a metaphor in most cases today.
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Offline psy

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Re: How to get sober
« Reply #14 on: September 11, 2010, 01:37:44 PM »
Quote from: "DannyB II"
Psy, you have never been a addict or drunk how would you know this.

Do doctors need to have had cancer to understand it?  Do psychologists have to have psychoses to diagnose and treat patients?  Just because i'm neither a lush nor a member of your fruity little club doesn't mean I can't have a valid opinion on the subject and provide solid facts.

Quote
This is not something you can read in a book from others such as yourself.

Yes it is.  There are these things known as "studies" from this field known as "science" from which you can learn objective truths.

Quote
There is not a cold stone addict or drunk here that would not say the had to hit the bottom, now that is all relative.

There's a catch 22.  If a person recovers, they hit their (relative) rock bottom.  If not, they haven't hit rock bottom yet.  It's silly.

Quote
I don't believe you have to have a lung removed before you quit smoking. During my active using I quit smoking, just hated it. There has to be some low, where you are just sick and tired of living the way you are.

All you're really saying is that a person has to have a strong desire to quit.  That's just common sense.  Does it require they destroy their lives in order to gain that desire?  I don't believe so.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
Benchmark Young Adult School - bad place [archive.org link]
Sue Scheff Truth - Blog on Sue Scheff
"Our services are free; we do not make a profit. Parents of troubled teens ourselves, PURE strives to create a safe haven of truth and reality." - Sue Scheff - August 13th, 2007 (fukkin surreal)