Author Topic: Joke for the Day!!  (Read 6401 times)

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Offline DannyB II

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Re: Joke for the Day!!
« Reply #45 on: November 01, 2011, 06:59:12 PM »
Can you relate???


"Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder"
 
This is how it develops:

I decide to water my garden.

As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing.

As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mailbox earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox, when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only 1 check left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need to be watered.

I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers. I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do. At the end of the day:

----the car isn't washed,
----the bills aren't paid,
----there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter,
----the flowers don't have enough water,
----there is still only 1 check in my check book,
----I can't find the remote,
----I can't find my glasses,
----and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
Stand and fight, till there is no more.

Offline Anonymous

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the joke is Danny bennison
« Reply #46 on: November 02, 2011, 09:21:24 AM »
what is the difference between Danny Bennison and a bucket of shit ?
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the bucket.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Awake

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Re: Joke for the Day!!
« Reply #47 on: November 04, 2011, 11:41:20 PM »
DOUGH- with which- to buy my beer
RAY- the guy I buy it frommmmmm
ME- the guy- who drinks the beer
FA- a long way to the barrrrrrr
SO- I'll drink another beer
LA- ger lager lager beeeeeeeer
TEA- no thanks I'l have a beer
and that brings me back to
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Alison

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    • http://www.sandfordhighschool.com
Re: Joke for the Day!!
« Reply #48 on: November 10, 2011, 04:34:54 AM »
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the
dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several
strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of
your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said,
"Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Troublemaker

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Re: the joke is Danny bennison
« Reply #49 on: November 10, 2011, 05:59:15 AM »
Quote from: "fuck you Danny"
what is the difference between Danny Bennison and a bucket of shit ?
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the bucket.
:roflmao:  :roflmao:  :roflmao:  :roflmao:  :roflmao:  :roflmao:  :roflmao:  :roflmao:  :roflmao:
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
The troubled teen industry is ineffective because advocates are after money, fame or are as abusive as the programs they\'re fighting

Offline davidchatman

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Re: Joke for the Day!!
« Reply #50 on: November 15, 2011, 04:05:23 AM »
:waaaa:  :waaaa:  :waaaa:
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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Re: Joke for the Day!!
« Reply #51 on: January 16, 2012, 02:30:04 PM »
:roflmao:  :roflmao:  :roflmao:  :roflmao:  :roflmao:  :roflmao:  :roflmao:  :roflmao:  :roflmao:  :roflmao:
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »