Author Topic: Top 10 Most Disturbing TLC Series  (Read 939 times)

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Offline Anne Bonney

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Top 10 Most Disturbing TLC Series
« on: June 10, 2010, 12:46:08 PM »
http://www.uproxx.com/feature/2010/03/t ... ng-series/

5) Jon & Kate Plus Eight:

It’s bad enough to have to raise eight children, let alone to make the conscious decision to do so on national television. Like a fraternity house filled with tiny drunk people, Jon & Kate Plus Eight was a powder keg just waiting to erupt. Take two ridiculously vapid parents, surround them with cameras and then film them babysitting – sounds more like a Humboldt State thesis paper, than an actual program premise. Seriously, what’s the point of this show? I’ve babysat kids before and it f–king sucks. Why on Earth would I want to relive that experience from my living room, multiplied by eight? Bartender, send me over a large, frothy glass of RATHER NOT. Best of luck to the Gosselin kids. Please just never forget that mommy and daddy love you very much…and checks.

4) Little People, Big World/The Little Couple:

Surprise! It’s the exact same show only twice. Twice the tiny families, twice the altered furniture, twice the ladders, but still only half the concept. I don’t know, I guess I just figure that nobody wants to watch me go shopping for pants and then view an additional thirty minutes of me hemming the seams, so why should I care when these families do it? Oh yeah, because they’re tiny. Pshh, come on, that’s boring as hell. If I wanted to watch someone do all the same sh-t that I do, but take twice as long doing it, I’d go work at Walmart. What’s even more offensive is that we’re supposed to think this is educational? “Excuse me sir, I couldn’t help but notice that you had gotten that can of peanuts down off that shelf exactly how I would have gotten that can of peanuts down off the shelf. What’s that? Why did I expect you to get the can of peanuts down differently? Haha, oh come on, don’t tell me you brush your hair in a circus mirror, do you?”

3) I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant:

Ha, jokes on you, dumb-ss. This show isn’t at all about women who didn’t know they were pregnant. It’s actually a program about septic tank cleaners and their clientele. Alright fine, you called the bluff, turns out this is a show about women, who despite the growing seeds inside of them or the unprotected intercourse, didn’t know that they were knocked up. Oh women, always playing your coy card so well. I’ll continue to watch this show until they finally feed my hunger for an episode involving immaculate conception. Then again, what do I know? I don’t work for TLC, nor have I ever been pregnant and not known about it…I ALWAYS know when I’m pregnant, because I sh-t on the test strips. But what really sets this show apart from the rest are the snuff film-quality reenactments they shoot for each story. Top-notch creepy!

2) Toddlers & Tiaras:

There’s really no good excuse for why you should ever be watching Toddlers & Tiaras, unless you’re listening to “Goodbye Horses” and building a skin suit in your basement. It’s a terrifying program, period and surprisingly, once again, the show’s title lets you know exactly what is going on here. I thought there were laws against this sh-t? A Commandment or something? Yeah, that’s it – didn’t Moses stand up there and announce, “Thou shalt not spray tan thy child and live vicariously through their insignificant successes.” Regardless, I’d watch a thousand more programs on midgets, collapsing marriages and chicks crapping babies, before I’d ever consider tuning in to this freak-fest. The only thing worse that the inappropriate parading of the prodded children are the parents shouting at them to suck in their tummies. They’re kids, that’s why they’re called “tummies” and not “beer guts”. They’re supposed to have them. Really unsexy, I know.

1) 19 Kids and Counting: FTW


The. Terrorists. Have. Won. There is truly nothing more disturbing than a Christian, right-wing, home-schooled militia family that’s large enough to start their own NBA basketball team, substitutions included. Not to mention, TLC’s Duggar family has named each one of their offspring starting with the letter “J”. Personally, I hope they keep the kids popping out, because I’d love for them to alphabetically force themselves to name one of the girls Jerome-gela. That would be cool. The crazy gets better though for those of you brave enough to venture on over to the Duggar families own website where you get to learn the origin story of how the wolf-pack got started.




I guess things just aren’t what they used to be, at least on cable television, that’s for sure. It appears that even the concept of “learning” has gone to hell in a hand basket, along with Buffalo Bill’s lotion. Just seems that maybe the best way to go about teaching people to accept others despite their differences, would be to treat them like everyone else and not like a lab experiment. For the record, everyone else does not have a camera crew following their every move. Maybe instead of exploiting someone’s disability, we should overlook it and be rude to them regardless, just like everyone else. I mean, that’s how we used to do it when I was a kid. We didn’t care about race, size, creed or color, we found a better means of judging someone. We gauged them depending on how much money their parents made.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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The more boring a child is, the more the parents, when showing off the child, receive adulation for being good parents-- because they have a tame child-creature in their house.  ~~  Frank Zappa

Offline Ursus

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Re: Top 10 Most Disturbing TLC Series
« Reply #1 on: June 10, 2010, 12:56:04 PM »
Where are the other 5? Or is it supposed to be the "top 5 most disturbing...?"  ;D
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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Offline Anne Bonney

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Re: Top 10 Most Disturbing TLC Series
« Reply #2 on: June 10, 2010, 12:57:34 PM »
Quote from: "Ursus"
Where are the other 5? Or is it supposed to be the "top 5 most disturbing...?"  ;D


 :rofl:  :rofl:  :ftard:

My bad.,......top 5.  Was thinkin' Letterman I guess.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
traight, St. Pete, early 80s
AA is a cult http://www.orange-papers.org/orange-cult.html

The more boring a child is, the more the parents, when showing off the child, receive adulation for being good parents-- because they have a tame child-creature in their house.  ~~  Frank Zappa