does residential really help and which one is good

[Paul St. John]

ahem.... Whooter?

[Whooter]

Just out of curiosity Whooter.. How do these therapeutic boarding schools go about instilling self-esteem, in the participants.  I am not trying to be challenging, here, necessarily.  I would like to have more facts, upon which to base my own judgments?

What is the practiced theory, methodology, etc., as relates to facilitating the development of self-esteem, in young individuals?

Paul

Okay I'll give it a shot.

Just talking out loud here:

I really don’t know the nuts and bolts of what they did at ASR but I can tell you  that my daughter learned how to appreciate a compliment without sidestepping the feeling.  She got to a point prior to her placement where she would change the subject if she was complimented on something she did, which was a red flag for me.  Ever since she smiles and accepts it.

She was taught that she was not a victim and should not play that part and that failure was not a conclusion which defined her.  It was an opportunity to see a path that was followed once but she had the power to chose another path and she did.

They taught her to change the way she thought about herself and to try to avoid negative thoughts.

She was tutored and taught how to study and make herself successful and get good grades.

They helped her to set short and well defined goals and they celebrated each time she reached a milestone.

They taught her great listening skills which helped her and I communicate so much better.. (she taught me a thing or two in this area, lol).

I think the most important thing is they taught her to love herself for who she was.  If she wanted to work at Walmart and get an apartment and a dog then that was great.  If she wanted to go to college that was good too.

She learned to accept the path which led her to ASR and not feel guilty or dwell on circumstances which are in the past.

She expected to be treated well by others and wouldn’t accept being stepped on by friends, (this was great to watch)

She was on top of the world when she graduated and continues to do well today.  

I hope this helps.



...

[Joel]

Edited: Wednesday, October 06, 2010

[Whooter]

http://cafety.org/index2.php?option=com_content&do_pdf=1&id=279

Academy administrators told Lieberman it was true that students were denied sleep for 19 or 20 hours during the first Life Step session, called "The Truth." Staff and students might stay up all night, then break for a nap between 5 and 7 a.m., then continue the session until 2 the next afternoon, the administrators said. One administrator also acknowledged using profanity toward the students during communications sessions, and added, "Some days I have said things to students that I wish I did not say."

[/b]

^ "The Truth" @ Academy Swift River

Wow that brings back memories…..When I was young we use to call them “all nighters”.  The only difference was you didn’t want to sleep from 5 to 7 because your ass would be dragging all day.  If you held out till about 11:oo am and slept for 2-4 hours then you were good for the rest of the day with no problem.  It would be interesting to see if this was changed or not.

Its amazing what you could do when you were young.  I would never make it past 4 or 5 am now.  

Its great that people have preserved this stuff.  I wonder if anyone has a full program which outlines all the steps the kids go through.  That would be good to have.



...

[maruska]

Just out of curiosity Whooter.. How do these therapeutic boarding schools go about instilling self-esteem, in the participants.  I am not trying to be challenging, here, necessarily.  I would like to have more facts, upon which to base my own judgments?

What is the practiced theory, methodology, etc., as relates to facilitating the development of self-esteem, in young individuals?

Paul

Okay I'll give it a shot.

Just talking out loud here:

I really don’t know the nuts and bolts of what they did at ASR but I can tell you  that my daughter learned how to appreciate a compliment without sidestepping the feeling.  She got to a point prior to her placement where she would change the subject if she was complimented on something she did, which was a red flag for me.  Ever since she smiles and accepts it.

She was taught that she was not a victim and should not play that part and that failure was not a conclusion which defined her.  It was an opportunity to see a path that was followed once but she had the power to chose another path and she did.

They taught her to change the way she thought about herself and to try to avoid negative thoughts.

She was tutored and taught how to study and make herself successful and get good grades.

They helped her to set short and well defined goals and they celebrated each time she reached a milestone.

They taught her great listening skills which helped her and I communicate so much better.. (she taught me a thing or two in this area, lol).

I think the most important thing is they taught her to love herself for who she was.  If she wanted to work at Walmart and get an apartment and a dog then that was great.  If she wanted to go to college that was good too.

She learned to accept the path which led her to ASR and not feel guilty or dwell on circumstances which are in the past.

She expected to be treated well by others and wouldn’t accept being stepped on by friends, (this was great to watch)

She was on top of the world when she graduated and continues to do well today.  

I hope this helps.



...

That is great! And interesting to read. But, why did YOU not teach her that?  I see nothing in your list that would not be not possible to achieve at home.....
I really do not get it....

[Whooter]

Just out of curiosity Whooter.. How do these therapeutic boarding schools go about instilling self-esteem, in the participants.  I am not trying to be challenging, here, necessarily.  I would like to have more facts, upon which to base my own judgments?

What is the practiced theory, methodology, etc., as relates to facilitating the development of self-esteem, in young individuals?

Paul

Okay I'll give it a shot.

Just talking out loud here:

I really don’t know the nuts and bolts of what they did at ASR but I can tell you  that my daughter learned how to appreciate a compliment without sidestepping the feeling.  She got to a point prior to her placement where she would change the subject if she was complimented on something she did, which was a red flag for me.  Ever since she smiles and accepts it.

She was taught that she was not a victim and should not play that part and that failure was not a conclusion which defined her.  It was an opportunity to see a path that was followed once but she had the power to chose another path and she did.

They taught her to change the way she thought about herself and to try to avoid negative thoughts.

She was tutored and taught how to study and make herself successful and get good grades.

They helped her to set short and well defined goals and they celebrated each time she reached a milestone.

They taught her great listening skills which helped her and I communicate so much better.. (she taught me a thing or two in this area, lol).

I think the most important thing is they taught her to love herself for who she was.  If she wanted to work at Walmart and get an apartment and a dog then that was great.  If she wanted to go to college that was good too.

She learned to accept the path which led her to ASR and not feel guilty or dwell on circumstances which are in the past.

She expected to be treated well by others and wouldn’t accept being stepped on by friends, (this was great to watch)

She was on top of the world when she graduated and continues to do well today.  

I hope this helps.



...

That is great! And interesting to read. But, why did YOU not teach her that?  I see nothing in your list that would not be not possible to achieve at home.....
I really do not get it....

Ha,Ha,Ha,  I agree....Looks basic doesnt it!  I watched a video of a heart Transplant once and there wasnt anything that they did that I couldnt do.  I could probably take over for the doctor after watching that.  

We can teach our kids math and language at home, reset broken bones, put on casts, measure eye sight, perform hearing tests, cut their hair, make their clothes etc.  Its all very basic stuff.  Why dont we do it?



...

[maruska]

I could never perform surgery or anything like that...I am not a doctor.

But I am a parent and everything on your list was my "job description"

I am surprised ...do your really think you would not be able to  do the same?

[Joel]

Edited: Wednesday, October 06, 2010

[Whooter]

I could never perform surgery or anything like that...I am not a doctor.

But I am a parent and everything on your list was my "job description"

I am surprised ...do your really think you would not be able to  do the same?

I have raised several children and they all turned out well.  We instilled a healthy self esteem in them.  I had one that needed outside help.  How did that come to be?  I really don't know the cause.  Out of all my children only one of them requires glasses.  Another required Speech therapy.  All our children are different and we responded to their individual needs differently and compassionately.



...

[Joel]

Edited: Wednesday, October 06, 2010

[maruska]

I see. Well I had many sleepless nights thinking about why my daughter had such a difficult puberty. (My son was a piece of cake in comparisson LOL).
I did not find the answer to that . I only did what I felt was right and made many mistakes on the way...but we did succeed. At least I hope, she is 18 so there is still a lot of growing up to do. But I did not give up on her, that was the foundation to our relationship today...
And I was never alone in this - my husband, my friends, without them I would be lost.



You know, I wonder how did the previous generations raise their children? I mean before this industry became so popular in the USA.

[Whooter]

I see. Well I had many sleepless nights thinking about why my daughter had such a difficult puberty. (My son was a piece of cake in comparisson LOL).
I did not find the answer to that . I only did what I felt was right and made many mistakes on the way...but we did succeed. At least I hope, she is 18 so there is still a lot of growing up to do. But I did not give up on her, that was the foundation to our relationship today...
And I was never alone in this - my husband, my friends, without them I would be lost.



You know, I wonder how did the previous generations raise their children? I mean before this industry became so popular in the USA.

I think communication, open mindedness and trust are a few of the keys to raising healthy, happy  and successful children.  You are fortunate, Maruska and looking back we have been fortunate also (so far).  We both succeeded in raising our children and this reinforces the fact that each parent needs to take a different path depending on the challenges their children bring.

Life was much simpler in past generations, I think.  Each generation just had to do the best they could with the resources available to them.



...

[Troll Control]

Just out of curiosity Whooter.. How do these therapeutic boarding schools go about instilling self-esteem, in the participants.  I am not trying to be challenging, here, necessarily.  I would like to have more facts, upon which to base my own judgments?

What is the practiced theory, methodology, etc., as relates to facilitating the development of self-esteem, in young individuals?

Paul

Okay I'll give it a shot.

Just talking out loud here:

I really don’t know the nuts and bolts of what they did at ASR but I can tell you  that my daughter learned how to appreciate a compliment without sidestepping the feeling.  She got to a point prior to her placement where she would change the subject if she was complimented on something she did, which was a red flag for me.  Ever since she smiles and accepts it.

She was taught that she was not a victim and should not play that part and that failure was not a conclusion which defined her.  It was an opportunity to see a path that was followed once but she had the power to chose another path and she did.

They taught her to change the way she thought about herself and to try to avoid negative thoughts.

She was tutored and taught how to study and make herself successful and get good grades.

They helped her to set short and well defined goals and they celebrated each time she reached a milestone.

They taught her great listening skills which helped her and I communicate so much better.. (she taught me a thing or two in this area, lol).

I think the most important thing is they taught her to love herself for who she was.  If she wanted to work at Walmart and get an apartment and a dog then that was great.  If she wanted to go to college that was good too.

She learned to accept the path which led her to ASR and not feel guilty or dwell on circumstances which are in the past.

She expected to be treated well by others and wouldn’t accept being stepped on by friends, (this was great to watch)

She was on top of the world when she graduated and continues to do well today.  

I hope this helps.



...

That is great! And interesting to read. But, why did YOU not teach her that?  I see nothing in your list that would not be not possible to achieve at home.....
I really do not get it....

Yes, maruska, it is great, but unfortunately, it's also fiction.  

Whooter has already admitted that his daughter estranged herself from him and as soon as she got home she went right back to heavy drinking and drugging immediately with all of her old friends.  

He also neglects to mention that when she got home she also dropped out of high school and didn't even finish that.  

So, these tales of happiness, joy and success are just part of Whooter's program marketing and not actually real or part of his story.  People should know this when reading Whooter's drivel.

The scariest part of Whooter's response?  He didn't then, and still does not now know anything they did to his daughter at ASR and he's fine with that.  This is classic Machiavellian logic: the ends justify the means.  For all he knows, this "change" happened due to "S&M therapy" at ASR.  He doesn't know and doesn't care.

[Samara]

In addition, he obfuscates the all night experential called The Truth, comparing it to a study all-nighter. This could not be further from the truth. The all night experential is an encounter group - it is harmful, abusive psychodrama using sleep deprivation to help break down the kids' defenses and boundaries.

[Ursus]

Just out of curiosity Whooter.. How do these therapeutic boarding schools go about instilling self-esteem, in the participants.  I am not trying to be challenging, here, necessarily.  I would like to have more facts, upon which to base my own judgments?

What is the practiced theory, methodology, etc., as relates to facilitating the development of self-esteem, in young individuals?

Paul

Okay I'll give it a shot.

Just talking out loud here:

I really don’t know the nuts and bolts of what they did at ASR but I can tell you  that my daughter learned how to appreciate a compliment without sidestepping the feeling.  She got to a point prior to her placement where she would change the subject if she was complimented on something she did, which was a red flag for me.  Ever since she smiles and accepts it.

She was taught that she was not a victim and should not play that part and that failure was not a conclusion which defined her.  It was an opportunity to see a path that was followed once but she had the power to chose another path and she did.

They taught her to change the way she thought about herself and to try to avoid negative thoughts.

She was tutored and taught how to study and make herself successful and get good grades.

They helped her to set short and well defined goals and they celebrated each time she reached a milestone.

They taught her great listening skills which helped her and I communicate so much better.. (she taught me a thing or two in this area, lol).

I think the most important thing is they taught her to love herself for who she was.  If she wanted to work at Walmart and get an apartment and a dog then that was great.  If she wanted to go to college that was good too.

She learned to accept the path which led her to ASR and not feel guilty or dwell on circumstances which are in the past.

She expected to be treated well by others and wouldn’t accept being stepped on by friends, (this was great to watch)

She was on top of the world when she graduated and continues to do well today.  

I hope this helps.

Learning about "self-esteem" at the Academy at Swift River, from "Tough love may be a little too tough" (by Stephanie Kraft; June 24, 2006; Valley Advocate):

...On occasion, Kent had to get equipment from a maintenance closet next to a room that by September was being used for communication sessions. Often he heard the staff members who conducted the sessions shouting at the students; once, he said, he heard one of them yell at a student, "You fucking bastard!" Another time, Kent said, "I observed Brett Carey when he was literally hoarse after one of these sessions." Carey, who had been the dean of student life at ASR, is no longer at the school.

At other times, Kent saw students compelled to do degrading make-work as punishment. One time, he said, he saw a girl forced to spend an entire day scrubbing a staircase with a toothbrush. He was also alarmed by the few bits of information he heard about the so-called Life Step sessions, forms of group therapy in which several students would be taken to one of the buildings for day-and-a-half to three-day stays.

"I was instructed repeatedly on paper to prepare very minimal meals for these overnights," Kent said. "I would put up carrot sticks, celery sticks, crackers, cheese, hummus, a few turkey sandwiches, and this plate would be sufficient for two mealtimes. Then I would send a very light breakfast. The staff would have bagels and cream cheese, the kids could only have fruit and cereal. I worried about the fact that the food for the staff was different, and I felt that these were very light meals."

Kent worried about whether the food was being rationed on a punish-and-reward basis during the sessions. The question was one of many the Advocate was unable to discuss with ASR officials, who declined to be interviewed about the program...[/list]