This isn't specifically related to Open Sky, so I apologize for the threadjack but I'll tie it in at the end.
You're never going to be able to really get it Who. You have no idea what it feels like to be in the clutches of that kind of shitstorm, with the ignorant, blind blessing of your parents. You've got to have a marketing background because you spin like a pro. You do your best, and way too often succeed, to paint such a rosy, rational picture of what goes on and how these places work, but what it all boils down to is that you have zero experience of what it's like behind closed doors. You want so badly to believe that you did the right thing with your kid (and it doesn't really matter if you're actually telling the truth about this daughter you've spoken about or if you're John Reuben, drumming up business for STICC) that you justify or rationalize away any criticisms. I mean, virtually anything negative, you dismiss or spin. It's either an isolated incident, or necessary 'tough love', or just a bad apple in the bunch, or an exaggeration.....anything to not have to either face up to what you did, or cut into your income or both.
What you'll never be able to get - never be able to truly understand or even begin to appreciate - is the psychic/soul devastation that can, and very often is brought upon these kids. The emotional and peer extortion puts your soul and your mind through a macerator and then tries to install ones more to their liking.
When I look at the students of the University where I work..well half of them would probably qualify for a program:)...maybe because it is a Performig arts university:))
When I look at my own children, how they matured and how our relationship is getting better day by day...they know they can trust me, because I never betrayed their trust. That is a strong foundation.
Parents should realize that being a parent is not walk in a park, it is the hardest job ever. Sometimes you would be desperate, sometimes you would feel you are losing your child , but do not believe anybody can do a better job then you!
And the reward is priceless...
That post really struck a nerve with me. It is so true. I'm not saying that there aren't any kids who truly need help because there are...but...in my opinion and belief,
based on actual experience in being subjected to this form of "treatment" and some fairly extensive research over these last 10 years or so, first - the number of kids who actually need inpatient, residential help isn't who ends up in these places.
(Edited to add: and, I believe, pretty goddamned small) Most are kids who are acting up (I refer you to Maruska's post above...PARENTING IS HARD!!!) and the parents are at their wits end. I get that. Belieeeeeeeeeeve me, I get that. Remember, I've also got two grown kids of my own. One of which scared the living hell out of me for a very long time. But second - these types of programs are NOT helpful to kids who actually DO need help and, very often again, are even more damaging.
Now, tying it all back into what we were talking about, we recognize things that you wouldn't. We can see through the charade because we've actually lived it. You've been a mere observer, even in addition to your capacity of a parent. When we hear certain buzzwords and phrases that are common in this type of LGAT/emotional blackmail, we see it for the crap that it is. You don't. When we see programs shuffle staff around, change names because of bad publicity or actual abuse charges, we question it. You don't. At
MOST you've got some weekend "personal fulfullment workshop" and your cursory exposure as a parent. Well, that and your market analysis of the goldmine that is the rehab/therapy culture/industry.
So, g'head and sit up there on your high horse, believing that you have any fucking clue.
