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I wonder what farm is that?

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maruska:
http://www.thelaw.com/forums/showthread.php?t=38709

Ursus:
First and last post from Vasared:

http://www.thelaw.com/forums/showpost.p ... ostcount=1
11-12-2009, 11:59 PM

--- Quote from: "Vasered" ---Rights at 17
Jurisdiction/Place: USA - Missouri

A former friend of mine has a 17 year old daughter. The 17 year old recently made some mistakes and the mother shipped her off to a farm for delenquent girls. The mistakes she made hurt no one and violated no laws of the state. This kid is a good student, makes good grades, is active in many school clubs and activities even having leadership roles in many. She got her first job at 14 While she was getting good grades, working, etc her parents were busy with drug habits. When she was between 9 and 14 she would take care of her younger siblings while her parents were busy with drug use. There were many times that she would call me to bring food so that they could eat. She is already getting scholarship offers and without scholarships, college wont be possible. Her dad is in rehab and has been for quite a while. Her mom has shipped her 3 hours from home because of a minor mistake, taking away every activity that has gotten the scholarship offers rolling in. Is there any way that I can help her? Can you hold a 17 year old young woman against her will? Could it be in the best interest of a child to take away everything they have worked for and the key to their future?
--- End quote ---
http://www.thelaw.com/forums/showpost.p ... stcount=24
11-20-2009, 09:20 AM

--- Quote from: "Vasered" ---The mistake was that she slept with her boyfriend. This was a stupid move, but in MO she is legal age of concent. When asked, she denied at first. So for this her parents take everything away. This boarding school allows no contact with anyone for the 1st 30 days, after that only monitored letters from parents and siblings. She cannot even have a phone call from her parents for 3 months. It turns my stomach. She has had a job since she was 14 until they sent her away. She was making over $9 an hour and saving for college. I wonder if the fact that she had a job until she involuntarily had to give it up would count for anything. I have been told that she would be better off as a runaway than where she is. There are support groups for survivors of this place. I told her mom and she says that she is fine. How do you know she is fine if you can't even see her for 3 months waas my response. There has to be something I can do.
--- End quote ---

Ursus:
It could be Heaven's View...
http://www.christianboardingschools.com
How often can I visit or phone my daughter?

Initially contact with residents occurs after 30 days. Then, residents may receive calls from home every two weeks. However, this is contingent on the resident’s behavior. After 3 months, you may visit your daughter at the facility. However, this is contingent on the behavior and attitude of your daughter. After a designated time and with Board approval, your daughter may be eligible for a home visit.[/list]

...or Refuge of Grace Academy...
http://www.refugeofgraceacademy.org/

...or Circle of Hope Ranch...
http://www.circleofhopegirlsranch.org/

...or one of programs associated with Lester Roloff (Mountain Park Baptist Boarding Academy or Agape Boarding School) * ...

...or someplace else...


* I'm not sure which ones are still open., and I may be fuzzy on some of the gender designations.

Gentlestormi_:

--- Quote ---It could be Heaven's View...
http://www.christianboardingschools.com

      How often can I visit or phone my daughter?

      Initially contact with residents occurs after 30 days. Then, residents may receive calls from home every two weeks. However, this is contingent on the resident’s behavior. After 3 months, you may visit your daughter at the facility. However, this is contingent on the behavior and attitude of your daughter. After a designated time and with Board approval, your daughter may be eligible for a home visit.
--- End quote ---

Everything in this excerpt seems to me to show that parental support is contingent only on the behavior of the child. The ones in power and control over parent and child is this authority of Heaven's View. There seems to me, to be an underlying assumption that the child must be punished by the removal of parental presence, and support, there seems to be to me, an underlying assumption that parental presence, support and love (which should be unconditional) is "contingent" upon the child's behavior--that they use this conditional idea that parental presence, parental support and parental intervention is based upon conditions and not based upon Gods idea of parental unconditional love. Setting up a inner reality that one is not of worth or value based upon ones outside behavior and ignoring of the inward reality, and setting up victims of this pattern to years of learned hypocritical living life.

I personally believe that the original problem does not lie within the child, the child may act out the baggage of the parents, but the origins of the problems lay within the system of the family of origins. I consider programs based in family systems to be the healthiest there are. Systems that include parents into therapy are healthier, but systems that block parents out and isolate the child as "the problem" are to me seen as extremely destructive and in the long term i feel are elements that destroy relationships and tear down trust, building false/fake relationship and relationship skills.

It also seems to me that there is an assumption in the above excerpt that children behave in a vacuum: that what a child does has no cause and effect to it. This seeming underlying assumption that one can just cut off or cut out behaviors that have direct cause and effect to it, without helping process and understanding of the causes to the effects, are to me hallmarks of highly damaging mind control situations and experiences.
Mind control aka severe behavior rehab of such nature as this, cuts off understanding and process to this link of "cause and effect".
--There are reasons why that i personally feel need to be processed and understood, and in my opinion, any 'helping facility' that fails to do this and instead cuts off this process, is in my view, setting up this person for years of damaged relationships, major distortions and isolation from the very people God put there for them: Their father and mother.

While back, I came across the biography of Father Flanagan, of Boys Town, by Will Oursler. I read it and i had to read it slow and process my way through his story. At first i was a skeptic, being a survivor of a Roloff cult, but as i realized that Father Flanagan did things in direct opposite to Roloff, i realized the superiority of his system over Roloffs system. Flanagan refused any corporeal punishment, he would not force his doctrines either, respecting each childs familial heritage. I have heard that Father Flanagans Boys and Girls Towns are rated the highest in the Nation. The thing that stood out to me in contrast between Roloff and Father Flanagan was the one idea of "RESPECT" ....Flanagan respected each child and each childs reality and history. Roloff disrespected those sent to him and refused to see their individuality and disrespected their heritage that they came with. The other marking element between Flanagan and Roloff seemed to me (based only on my reading this biography and my personal knowlege of Roloff) was the aspect of conditional love in a Roloff type system versus unconditional love shown in a Flanagan type system.  I do not know any more about the Flanagan system other than what i learned from this biography. But i did talk to a person who is in media and i was told that Flanagans Boys Town and Girls Town are rated the highest in the USA.

Roloff Cult Survivor
78'
GentleStormi'

Oscar:
From the wiki:

Agape Boarding School (Christian but only male) NOT
Anchor Academy (Christian male only) NOT
CALO - Change Academy Lake of the Ozarks (Mormon) NOT
Calvary Baptist Church and Boarding Academy (Christian closed) NOT
Hope Baptist Bible Academy (Christian closed) NOT
Kemper Military School (Not started) NOT
Living Water Refuge (Unknown status)
Mountain Park Academy (Closed - see ABM) NOT
Piney Ridge Center (Medical) NOT
Renovo Academy (Boys only) NOT
Teen Challenge Kansas City Girls Academy (Christian over 18) NOT
Thayer Learning Center (Closed) NOT
White Buffalo Academy (Native Indian) NOT

New Beginnings Girls Academy (Christian) Maybe
ABM Ministries (Christian) Maybe
Happiness Hill Christian Home & Academy (Christian) Maybe
Heartland Christian Academy (Christian) Maybe
Heaven's View Christian Boarding Academy (Christian) Maybe
Refuge of Grace Academy (Christian) Maybe

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