I forget the movie, but the line was, "Welcome to hell."
Seems 20 years is the magic number for people "Waking up". Whether they actually are willing/capable of facing the truth after they "Wake Up"...ehhh, the jury is still out on that. The vast majority seem to recognize their history for what it was, others yet, tend to deny the suffering of the past, deny suffering now and have difficulty accepting any suffering by anyone.
Clearly, we were all hit by the same rock. That same rock simply grazed many of us, while some others were profoundly effected by that rock. And for some the same rock remains firmly embedded in their skulls. The brainwashing techniques used to control our masses were real. The same techniques were used during the Korean Conflict on American GI's unfortunate enuff to be held by the N. Koreans.
When the Brainwashing techniques are employed, an aspect of the mind actively resists, protecting what it can, to maintain some semblance of sanity. Of course, our individual efforts are as varied as our own finger prints. Each had the same experience, yet that experience is/was viewed thru our own perspectives. Now, some 20 years later, the memories of those perspectives vary due to lapse of time and priorities of existence, school, work, marriages, children and life in general.
As I experienced this "Wake Up". I realized that x-amount of brainwashing took. That is to say, some of it I was still practicing and carrying around on a daily basis. Of course, I refused to accept that fact. And the reasoning behind that is due in fact that there is another aspect of the brain where the brainwashing did not take and actively resisted. This, for me took place 32 years ago. Brainwashing had it's effect in one part of the psyche. Whilst another part actively resisted, fought, if not outright brawled with the other aspect of the brain. The battle continues!
The UN-brainwashed facet of my mind is at constant odds with the facet of the mind that took the brainwashing. Each aspect of the mind is battling for supremacy. I don’t know that brainwashing actually “wears off”. In my experience, much of this, if not all took/takes place below the level of consciousness for an extended period of time…say um, twenty years or so. Either facet of the mind remains dominant for about that length of time. Yet, after all that time, the ‘weaker’ facet gradually gains momentum, eagerly wanting to confront the other facet to settle the score and secure it’s ’rightful’ place. This may or may not unfold in a manner that creates a lot of hub-bub in a persons life. Yet, inexplicably we sit in front of our respective computers and type the words Straight Inc. into our favorite search engines. Much to our surprise we find sites/message boards/rooms dedicated to Straight Inc. And so, we continue to read deeper and deeper into this thing, Straight Inc.
As we read and devour every word, our effort soon bypasses ‘excessive’ to the point of ‘obsessive’. Mean while, back in the brain, the battle for supremacy flares to a fevered pitch (which may or may not explain the ringing in the ears). Memories surface, conflicting memories, memories of adolescence under assault and then other memories of brief but real adolescent behavior. The battle rages, demanding we take a stance.
For many of us, the stance is taken quickly and in a steadfast manner. Why? I believe there is a need for validation, a need to somehow justify the void, to assume control of what seems a mind run a muck. Finally, there seems to be a true sense of solidarity, we begin to “piece back together” our tattered minds. There is a strong tendency to defend this effort and to deceive ourselves into believing we have finally come to some resolution, all based on this idea of ‘validation’. In essence we cocoon ourselves in this blanket of validation, because it brings about no small measure of relief. But as I implied, I am now no longer convinced this is the end of the ride.
The story must be told. For the story to be complete, both sides of the story need be told. If either side of the story is left out, ones opinion becomes lop sided and to think one has their shit in one sock due to this ‘validation’ we unjustly deceive ourselves. We have simply taken what seems most comfortable for the time being. A point in time, if not understanding, comes to light and again we are at a cross roads of sorts. We stumble across someone whose experience is 180 degree from our own. Typically what follows is an outward feuding between camps or schools of thought. A line is drawn in the sand and there is a strong possibility that we will be infuriated and staunchly defend our stance. So much so, that we resort to tactics our minds are all to familiar with…attack and destroy. Rather than understanding the individual has a perspective as we have our own perspective, we discredit the others experience. I think this is an outward expression of our inner battles of the mind. The result is a seething cauldron, incessantly simmering until it reaches a boiling point and all out warfare ensues.
As such, rather than being a group of people with similar experience, we separate into our respective schools of thought, separate warring factions. We now operate on a basis of exclusion, rather than inclusion. What was once an inner struggle now manifests itself in a public display of anger, hostility and resentment. Have we come any closer to a conclusion? Have we come to resolution? Any closer to understanding? Obviously, not.
Certainly, this is understandable when viewed from a distance. As individuals, we invest a lot of time, effort and energy in understanding, “piecing together” our adolescence that has long since past. We tend to defend what we value, and without a doubt we place a large value on the investment we have made and we defend it accordingly. But are we any closer to understanding? Any closer to resolution? Any closer to a conclusion? Will the chapter ever end?
There are a few who have been at this as long as I, Sam Kinison is one (he was my OC’s roommate) and there are a few others who pop in from time to time. I can not speak for them, yet for myself, the journey is far from over.
My suggestion is that you strap yourself in for a wild ride. Pace yourself in reading, it is very easy to be suddenly overwhelmed with a mass flux of information in addition to your own experience as memories surface. Expect contradictions. Expect the rush of realization. Just the same expect the crushing effects of disillusionment. Question everything, especially what takes place between your own ears. I have found it insufficient to simply accept and call brainwashing, brainwashing without delving into articles (the internet is full of information from credible sources, Margaret Singer PHD immediately comes to mind) to gain perspective of what you now call “brainwashing’.
Ms. Singer postulated that there are 6 primary requirements to create an atmosphere conducive to “thought reform” (brainwashing) and they are as follows:
Keep the person unaware of what is going on and how she or he is being changed a step at a time
Control the person's social and/or physical environment; especially control the person's time
Systematically create a sense of powerlessness in the person.
Manipulate a system of rewards, punishments and experiences in such a way as to inhibit behavior
that reflects the person's former social identity
Manipulate a system of rewards, punishments, and experiences in order to promote learning the group's ideology or belief system and group-approved behaviors
Put forth a closed system of logic and an authoritarian structure that permits no feedback and refuses to be modified except by leadership approval or executive order
With all the information between your ears, in combination with professional insights and the collective experience of those who have walked this path before you, there is a distinct possibility the battle that rages within will settle substantially, and you will step closer and closer to what I call “healing”. But it won’t come without a price, nor will it come without self examination and self inquiry. Again, welcome to hell.
That being said…
I wish you;
Much Peace
Much Healing
woof
