There were times during my first month incarcerated at Straight when I would have done just about anything I could have if it would have meant escape. I occasionally thought about offing myself rather than face another day in "group," but had no way to carry that out...
I had no qualms about running, but didn't think I'd be able to get away. I didn't have qualms about fighting or killing somone to get out of there aside from the charges that I would have no doubt faced (albeit juvenile), but I wasn't able to get hold of a knife or anything anyway.
All hope was lost.