Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones

How it is to be caring parent to a child in a program

(1/3) > >>

Anonymous:
I know that some of you were wondering how your parents were thinking during Christmas. Here is a suggestion:



--- Quote ---I really am trying to stay so strong - I am just trying to stuff everything inside. (Of course, I have the added incentive to stuff because with mono, if I cry it, makes my eyes swell up and hurt for hours.)

I was going to see (boys name) for Cmas, then I got sick, and he melted down, and everyone called it off. Fine, I can handle that. Well, in the meantime the program got annoyed at me and the ed cons for holding their feet to the fire on details not followed thru on. I.E., forgotten phone calls, etc.

So in what appears as payback for holding them accountable, the program emailed me a series of mandates yesterday.
I could not call (boys name) on Christmas, nor could anyone else in his family &
I can no longer send presents to (boys name). In fact they are sending back some of the ones I have sent.
And some other ones that are too complicated to go into.
The tone of the letter was cold and almost cruel. My mom read it and the ed cons read it, and they both were taken back. There was no apparent therapeutic reason listed for no Cmas phone calls, and it was worded in anger.

So, anyway, for whatever reason, the no phone call thing sent me right on over to dark Christmas mode. I am alone w/out family in AZ. My only sister is dead, I can't even talk to my kid for 5 minutes on Christmas, my parents are in Oregon, all my friends except for one are with their family - and it just plain is sad. In fact it is downright not fair. Really, really not fair. To not let me talk to my kid on Cmas is cruel. Prisoners get one phone call, soldiers, etc. But not (boys name)? (OK, I can't cry, because red eyes, swollen eyes, bad.) I pray the dr and counselor who did this can't have peace this Cmas. I know that is bad, but they should feel convicted, as they sit around the fire with their happy little perfect families, all day long, knowing they denied, out of spite, a 5 minute interaction between the only family Matt and I have, each other.

(boys name)'s program and I have been going around and around for months. Slowly but surely they have extracted me completely from his life, with the threat that if I do not do what they say they will remove Matt from the program. Exact words. I feel like I am part of a mafia group. I am being bullied, and threatened, and if I don't do what they say, my kid is on the streets. They hate me, because I hold them accountable and they are too proud and egocentrically focused to want a parent or an ed cons meddling. So, now, I have completely backed out and I guess the ed cons has said he better as well. At least for now.

I talked to the ed cons and he flat out told me (boys name) has no other choices. He is destructive to property, although never physically violent, and no other program that he knows of will take an aggressive 19 year old. So it is this program or the streets. Yet, again, I feel that this whole situation has forced me to submit to whatever anyone says - just so (boys name) can stay. And believe me this program knows the corner I am in, and they are just playing off of it.

Anyway, I didn't mean to make this so long. I just am struggling, and yet I am trying so hard. I am taking the dogs to the beach for their Cmas present, and I am going over to my neighbors house for dinner. I am not sitting around the house depressed like I want to, so I really am trying. But I would trade a 5 minute phone call with going to the neighbors house in a millisecond - and that reality simply feels cruel and inhumane.

I just hope my neighbor is not a butt tonight, of all nights. He is the one who said (boys name) just needs to man up and grow up and get over himself. Sigh. I know people just don't get it - but just today - I pray I find some compassion & mercy.

Thank you so much for listening.
--- End quote ---

I have removed the name of the boy so it is not so easy to Google as I supplying some of the employees with gas for their cars and the only reason I am interesting in this story is that I overheard a staff member talking to a police officer about one of the times this boy ended up being taken to the hospital because they lost control of him.

I have googled the other message board where I took this post. The mother is missing the obivious solution. There is a father. He is living Oregon where the boy used to live and he hadn't done his part. It is time for him to act up. My suggestion would be to send the boy to him and pay for some in-house wrap-around therapy, which should be cheaper. The boy is 19 years of age. What do you think?

Anonymous:

--- Quote from: "Followed up by a rumor in Sandpoint" --- The boy is 19 years of age.
--- End quote ---

That's not a boy, that's a man. Or at least an adolescent, but hardly a boy. Legally, a 19 year old is considered a full blown adult, and capable of making their own decisions.





--- Quote ---What do you think?
--- End quote ---

I think it's interesting somebody finds personal information about a family, posts it on a forum and asks others what they think. Who cares? Did they ask for your advice, or is this your hobby, playing arm chair psychologist to families who never asked you?

If you want to help, you know, REAL kids that are not spoiled, adult, rich kids with helicoptering weak-willed mothers, then go donate a toy to a poor kid or something. This thread is just a waste of time and energy, and I'm done with it.

Anonymous:
Followed up by a rumor in Sandpoint = Fucking asshole

Anonymous:
19, cut the kid loose from the program and let him grow up while supporting him from a distance. Give him the best thing ever which would be your time. Take the time to listen, take the time to brainstorm, take the time to help him out with things like job interviews/bank accounts/ balancing check books/a lease, and so forth.

Because I doubt he's getting any of that in the program/duckfarm.

Basedonfacts:
Pop

You are right on to a point. Had the kid gotten that earlier in life, he wouldnt have had the need for a program to get his life back in order. I agree, get him out of there, get him with a parent that truly loves him and get him right. If he accepts his parents willingness to help its a huge first step.

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page