Author Topic: Gotta take a pee test  (Read 1552 times)

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Offline Anonymous

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Gotta take a pee test
« on: December 17, 2009, 03:37:14 PM »
Hey, gotta take a pee test for a job I was offered.  I need the work badly, so I can't just blow it off.  I have 21 days before I gotta take the test.   Do you folks know of any "proven" methods to pass besides "time".  I have been a almost daily smoker for years, so I don't think I have enough time to let me get clean naturally.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline starry-eyed pirate

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Re: Gotta take a pee test
« Reply #1 on: December 17, 2009, 05:04:38 PM »
THC is stored in your fat cells so 21 days would be enough time to get the THC outta your body if you're not overweight.  I once had to pee for a judge after only 17 days without smokin, but I passed cause I was skinny then.

Drink a lot of water the week before you go.

Good luck.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
If you would have justice in this world, then begin to see that a human being is not a means to some end.  People are not commodities.  When human beings are just to one another government becomes obsolete and real freedom is born; SPIRITUAL ANARCHY.

Offline Anonymous

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Re: Gotta take a pee test
« Reply #2 on: December 18, 2009, 07:34:02 AM »
First off, start pushing the fluids  right now, not just the week before you go. There are  a couple of over the counter detox teas that will help. Yogi Detox tea is a good one. Also, start exercising, anything that will make you sweat. If you have access to a dry sauna, even better. That's a great way to help your body release the stored THC.
Eat as many fresh foods as you can and stay away from anything that's canned or pre-made ( TV dinners, pot pies) as most of these are high in salt and will make you retain fluids.
Unless you're really overweight, 21 days can be enough time to pass if you do the right things.
Good luck.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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Re: Gotta take a pee test
« Reply #3 on: December 18, 2009, 11:52:37 AM »
There really is only one failsafe way, and that is to use someone else's piss. Obviously, it has to be someone who is clean enough for the test.

I carried my payload in a condom, but they make stuff now that actually comes with a dick, so that you can cheat on tests that observe you pissing. I think the original was the whizzinator.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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Re: Gotta take a pee test
« Reply #4 on: December 21, 2009, 10:29:22 AM »
Bringing someone else's pee is not an option.   Been working out, fasting, and atkins diet like crazy.  Haven't started drinking the water /cranberry juice yet.  Cranberry juice will blow the atkins diet.  Will start that Jan 1.   I drink lots of water anyway, about 5 cups or glasses a day.   Also have a de-tox drink from health food co-op, although I am doubtful those things work.  Only good thing is it has lots of creitine (sp) in the drink.  Dilution will wash out lots of creitine, so about 3 days prior to test, I'm gonna eat lots of red meat.  Day 6 with no smoking!    Starting to cough up lots of black crap out of my lungs.   I'll post the pee test results. Any new advice?
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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Re: Gotta take a pee test
« Reply #5 on: December 21, 2009, 01:24:29 PM »
Quote from: "TAC"
There really is only one failsafe way, and that is to use someone else's piss. Obviously, it has to be someone who is clean enough for the test.

I carried my payload in a condom, but they make stuff now that actually comes with a dick, so that you can cheat on tests that observe you pissing. I think the original was the whizzinator.

So how did you keep it warm enough to pass the test?   I was thinking about hot water in coffee thermos.   Although,I'm concerned if I use hot water, it will be too warm.  Don't think 21 days is enough time no matter what diet or exercise program I'm on.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Woof-a-Doof

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Re: Gotta take a pee test
« Reply #6 on: December 21, 2009, 01:40:01 PM »
From what I have heard... (ahem)

Pirate hit it right on the head, if what ya want is THC not to show positive with your U/A. As THC is adsorbed by the adipose tissue (fat cells). The "fat cells" release glucose (or some other shit) periodically as the body requires. All the suggestions given will work (minus the whizanator, as it is not an option) The product mentioned about DETOX and alot was mentioned about Cretin. Cretin is a natural gimmick of the body and foods consumed. And so the Cretin Myth was born. When exceptionally high Cretin levels are shown, this is a RED FLAG. The sample is again tested...which is always a bad sign.

I digress. THC  is absorbed into the FAT CELLs. Read the label of the DETOX drinks (not teas) at your local head shop. There is so much glucose/fructose /sucrose as primary ingredients. Its like 3 cheese cakes, 3 triple layer Fudge cakes and a couple chocolate shakes. Essentially the  FAT CELLs get the hint...Don't Secrete Anything....for a certain window of time. Simply follow the instructions, the tell ya what to do and why to do it. Do all the other things your doing, it aint like it's gonna not hurt. But as a failsafe, hit your local Head Shop and ask for DETOX (tell um Woof-a-Doof sent ya)..yeah about $40-50 a bottle...bite the bullet and spend the money, especially on top of all the other things already taking place.

Of course this site http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_to_detox_THC_quickly disputes mine, but never hear of  the method b4.  

If you haven't smoked in 21 days, done all the things mentioned and bought the DETOX...You will pass the test easily...one daily smoker to another. Just be thankful it isn't a hair follicle test!

Much Luck!
Woof
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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Offline Anonymous

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Re: Gotta take a pee test
« Reply #7 on: December 31, 2009, 07:36:16 PM »
Well, today I took a "practice pee test". . . did all the stuff that was recommended (lost almost 10 pounds in the process), and peed clean. I still have till Monday for the official test. Will not smoke until the following Friday just in case something goes wrong and I have to take againlater next week.  Thanks for all the advice.
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Offline Anonymous

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Gotta take a pee test
« Reply #8 on: January 01, 2010, 02:36:32 AM »
SQUEEZE YOUR PENIS FOR 30 SECONDS THAT WILL HELP GET DRUGS OUT OF YOUR SYSTEM
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Offline Anonymous

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Re: Gotta take a pee test
« Reply #9 on: January 01, 2010, 11:17:58 AM »
Quote from: "Gotta take a pee test"
SQUEEZE YOUR PENIS FOR 30 SECONDS THAT WILL HELP GET DRUGS OUT OF YOUR SYSTEM

Hey, you squeeze your fucking penis . . . or I bet you squeeze your buddies cocks as well; probably between your lips.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Ursus

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Re: Gotta take a pee test
« Reply #10 on: January 01, 2010, 08:16:52 PM »
Quote from: "Pot Head Guest"
Well, today I took a "practice pee test". . . did all the stuff that was recommended (lost almost 10 pounds in the process), and peed clean. I still have till Monday for the official test. Will not smoke until the following Friday just in case something goes wrong and I have to take againlater next week.  Thanks for all the advice.
Congratulations!  :D
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Offline Pot Head Guest

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Re: Gotta take a pee test
« Reply #11 on: January 11, 2010, 07:40:26 AM »
Took my test last Monday.   Studied real hard for this one and I found out last week that I passed with flying colors.   So, Omni Cleanse works.   Take it from me, the Pot Head Guest a daily smoker for almost 25 years (sans the time I spent at straight) Omni Cleanse works.  Got it from the local health food store.   Here's the frikin kicker tho. . . my new employer conducts random pee tests!  urgh.  Gotta get another job asap, cause I'm sure one day, I'll get the call for testing and I'll fail it.
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Offline Rusty Goat

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Re: Gotta take a pee test
« Reply #12 on: January 12, 2010, 01:22:28 AM »
Well, depending on your position/trade/profession within the new employer's workplace, is it conceivable that one day, given the relaxing mood nationwide regarding pot, that any action brought against you for your personal use could be considered discrimination? I've often thought about how discriminatory companies are towards folks who partake on "their own time", coupled with all that bullshit drug free zealotry out there, it just seems like the tide may actually be turning on issues like this. Just my 2 cents...  :cheers:
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Offline Froderik

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Re: Gotta take a pee test
« Reply #13 on: January 12, 2010, 08:59:55 AM »
Quote from: "Rusty Goat"
Well, depending on your position/trade/profession within the new employer's workplace, is it conceivable that one day, given the relaxing mood nationwide regarding pot, that any action brought against you for your personal use could be considered discrimination? I've often thought about how discriminatory companies are towards folks who partake on "their own time", coupled with all that bullshit drug free zealotry out there, it just seems like the tide may actually be turning on issues like this. Just my 2 cents...  :cheers:
:tup:  :bs:  :rasta:
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Offline RTP2003

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Re: Gotta take a pee test
« Reply #14 on: January 13, 2010, 06:31:33 AM »
Quote from: "Pot Head Guest"
Took my test last Monday.   Studied real hard for this one and I found out last week that I passed with flying colors.   So, Omni Cleanse works.   Take it from me, the Pot Head Guest a daily smoker for almost 25 years (sans the time I spent at straight) Omni Cleanse works.  Got it from the local health food store.

That's great news, Pot Head Guest!  Scored one for the good guys!  As far as the potential future random shit, I have a friend who passed three years of weekly probation piss tests through the use of a whizzinator-type prosthetic device and heated clean piss.  Hopefully you will have gotten a better job without random invasions of the sanctity of your person and privacy by the time it comes around, but there are ways around tests if it comes down to it.

Right now I'm gonna burn one in your honor........
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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