What should I do?

[Anonymous]

I went through CEDU almost 30 years ago. I'm still fighting the demons. It's only every once in a while, like every few years. I start getting all that stuff back in my head and I want to change the world and I think I've got the secret answer to everything, you know what I mean. I've ended up in the psych ward several times in my life and I really don't want to go back. Can anyone recommend ways of getting CEDU erased from my existence?

[psy]

Just FYI, guest posting needs to be approved in this forum.  It's easier to either ask in the main CEDU forum or to register.

[psy]

I went through CEDU almost 30 years ago. I'm still fighting the demons. It's only every once in a while, like every few years. I start getting all that stuff back in my head and I want to change the world and I think I've got the secret answer to everything, you know what I mean. I've ended up in the psych ward several times in my life and I really don't want to go back. Can anyone recommend ways of getting CEDU erased from my existence?

Sure.  Different people have found different ways of doing this.  One is to figure out what they did to your head by researching how the program worked.  Once you understand it, the effects start to wear off.  Recovery via education and understanding.  Lots of people here have had similar experiences.  Talking about your experiences with others who have had similar experiences can also help.

You can never *fully* erase the experience, but you can deal with the effects by understanding them and realizing you're not alone.  Otherwise, it's hard to fix a problem when you don't know what caused it.

[Ursus]

Yep, the more you understand the psychological whammy that was pulled on you, the less power it has. You might find there are some things that you won't be able to "fix"; some wounds never heal. However, you'll be better able to recognize those vulnerabilities and protect yourself accordingly or, at least, learn what to avoid and why. It also helps get your anger pointed in a healthier direction.

I, myself, also find it helpful to learn more about the historical aspects of this business, to put these sociological developments into more of a cultural context. I rather suspect that most here find that a bit boring, but that's just me.

[Anonymous]

There is a type of therapy that deals specifically with dealing with trauma and flashbacks and things of that sort called EMDR therapy. I've known people who have found it helpful in dealing with their post-program lives.

[Anonymous]

I went to Cedu 29-30 years ago too. If you dont mind me asking, what is your name? Were you up in Running Springs, CA?
Please email me at sbernardo@socal.rr.com

Thanks

[try another castle]

I would recommend staying the fuck away from this forum. At least, until you've worked some things out... or better yet, stay away altogether. This place is definitely not for therapy, and everyone here is about as qualified to help as all of those fuckers who tormented you at CEDU. (hell, some of us might *have* been those fuckers. just depends on the rap.)

You said you've ended up 5150 a few times. That's some serious shit. Don't fuck around here. Get some real help.

If you ever feel like trying to place everything into a societal context, you know, tying up loose ends on the history, who started what, where the main players are now, an intellectual understanding of the methods of coercion (primal scream, LGAT, bioenergetic analysis, synanon crap) there might be some things this forum can help with. Or if you just want to fuck around and troll, this dive is a perfect match.

At the very least, I'd recommend developing a total and complete indifference to what happens on the internet before deciding to come back.


As to suggestions regarding working things out. Be with friends, people you love and trust. People who are willing to listen. Therapy. (CBT is good. Some people swear by EMDR, but I hated it.) The therapist should be able to help with stuff regarding the methods CEDU used, even if he or she may not know too much of the history. At the very least, they should be able to assist with diagnosing if  you have long-term PTSD. If you still have your old notebooks, and have the stomach to look at them, bring them to sessions and go over what you feel comfortable sharing with the therapist. That  helped me a lot.

(next day EDIT: Although the above paragraph is technically therapeutic advice, so I'd recommend that the only thing  you take out of it is to get to a therapist, and let them suggest a course of action.)


Just steer the fuck clear of survivors. We suck and can't help you with much. I'm serious.

A conversation between two CEDU survivors is pretty much two people talking to themselves about their own experience. Trust me. I do it too. Self-absorption at its finest.

Run in the other direction as fast as you can. Don't look back.


Hopefully, you already have, since this post was a while ago. Stop bumping old threads, Ursus. You should be sleeping in your bear-hole by now, anyway.

[Anonymous]

I would recommend staying the fuck away from this forum. At least, until you've worked some things out... or better yet, stay away altogether. This place is definitely not for therapy, and everyone here is about as qualified to help as all of those fuckers who tormented you at CEDU. (hell, some of us might *have* been those fuckers. just depends on the rap.)

You said you've ended up 5150 a few times. That's some serious shit. Don't fuck around here. Get some real help.

If you ever feel like trying to place everything into a societal context, you know, tying up loose ends on the history, who started what, where the main players are now, an intellectual understanding of the methods of coercion (primal scream, LGAT, bioenergetic analysis, synanon crap) there might be some things this forum can help with. Or if you just want to fuck around and troll, this dive is a perfect match.

At the very least, I'd recommend developing a total and complete indifference to what happens on the internet before deciding to come back.


As to suggestions regarding working things out. Be with friends, people you love and trust. People who are willing to listen. Therapy. (CBT is good. Some people swear by EMDR, but I hated it.) The therapist should be able to help with stuff regarding the methods CEDU used, even if he or she may not know too much of the history. At the very least, they should be able to assist with diagnosing if  you have long-term PTSD. If you still have your old notebooks, and have the stomach to look at them, bring them to sessions and go over what you feel comfortable sharing with the therapist. That  helped me a lot.


Just steer the fuck clear of survivors. We suck and can't help you with much. I'm serious.

A conversation between two CEDU survivors is pretty much two people talking to themselves about their own experience. Trust me. I do it too. Self-absorption at its finest.

Run in the other direction as fast as you can. Don't look back.


Hopefully, you already have, since this post was a while ago. Stop bumping old threads, Ursus. You should be sleeping in your bear-hole by now, anyway.

This should be on the index page.

[blownawaytheidahoway]

this was very entertaining. I see ursa and I have similar interests. Not boring at all. Not at all.