Author Topic: Jesus Loves You  (Read 2369 times)

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Offline Anonymous

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Jesus Loves You
« on: September 18, 2009, 01:33:35 PM »
Jesus loves you more than you could possibly realize. Embrace Jesus if you want a better life.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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Re: Jesus Loves You
« Reply #1 on: September 18, 2009, 01:44:07 PM »
Quote from: "The Truth"
Jesus loves you more than you could possibly realize. Embrace Jesus if you want a better life.


Sodomize Him if you want a life that is even better............
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline try another castle

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Re: Jesus Loves You
« Reply #2 on: September 18, 2009, 07:03:38 PM »
this I know
for the bible
tells me so


no really, it tells me so. I have it on books on tape.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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Re: Jesus Loves You
« Reply #3 on: September 19, 2009, 11:10:49 AM »
I asked Jesus how much He loved me
    He answered "this much"
    Then He stretched out His arms and died for me.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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Re: Jesus Loves You
« Reply #4 on: September 19, 2009, 11:19:36 AM »
Considering I've had him taken down in PCS holds every time he said something I didn't like, and called him out in group every time he started talking about his salvation bullshit, he better damn well love me.
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Offline seamus

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Re: Jesus Loves You
« Reply #5 on: September 19, 2009, 02:03:03 PM »
I still wont lend him money. Didnt miller newton touch his junk?
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
It\'d be sad if it wernt so funny,It\'d be funny if it wernt so sad

Offline try another castle

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Re: Jesus Loves You
« Reply #6 on: September 19, 2009, 07:51:56 PM »
Quote from: "Guest"
I asked Jesus how much He loved me
    He answered "this much"
    Then He stretched out His arms and died for me.


You know, I initially laughed at this and thought someone was making a joke. But then I remembered that this bit of prose is actually something serious... kind of like the poem about footprints in the sand.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline farlessgreg

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Re: Jesus Loves You
« Reply #7 on: March 19, 2010, 02:51:39 AM »
the best thing i heard all day
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Offline wdtony

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Re: Jesus Loves You
« Reply #8 on: March 19, 2010, 05:22:18 AM »
I am not a religious man but from what I have read historically, Jesus Christ was a criminal and tortured to death (through crucifixion) for standing up for what he believed in by the existing establishment. He was also an agitator and a carpenter from what I have read. I can really respect what this guy was about.

Would the powers that be, including the police, put Jesus Christ in prison these days? Or would he be sent to a treatment program to be re-educated? I have a suspicion he would not be tolerated by our society today.

Any historians out there could give better information on this.
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Offline Froderik

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Re: Jesus Loves You
« Reply #9 on: March 19, 2010, 10:09:56 AM »
Well now, Jesus just left Chicago  and he's bound for New Orleans.
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Offline Matt C. Hoffman

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Re: Jesus Loves You
« Reply #10 on: March 19, 2010, 10:18:18 AM »
And he's  heading  for all points in  between.
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Offline FemanonFatal2.0

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Re: Jesus Loves You
« Reply #11 on: November 13, 2011, 04:47:27 PM »
unless your gay... then Jesus hates you.

oh and if you don't both love and fear him, you will be tortured in hell forever

almost forgot... you can't have sex before marriage, say "goddamnit" or look at your neighbor's wife's sweeeet ass.

what a guy, what a guy.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
[size=150]When Injustice Becomes Law
...Rebellion Becomes Duty...[/size]




[size=150]WHEN THE RAPTURE COMES
CAN I HAVE YOUR FLAT SCREEN?[/size]

Offline Anonymous

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Re: Jesus Loves You
« Reply #12 on: November 14, 2011, 07:13:42 PM »
Quote from: "FemanonFatal2.0"
you will be tortured in hell forever

 :flame:  ::evil::  :nods:
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Offline davidchatman

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Re: Jesus Loves You
« Reply #13 on: January 20, 2012, 03:32:19 PM »
I believe so
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Offline Anonymous

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Re: Jesus Loves You
« Reply #14 on: January 26, 2012, 08:55:07 AM »
Me too, neither
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »