I am in no way after so many years of covering what happened to me up going to let this just stay inside me any more, though i am upset, i can also talk sensibly, i tried calling libby personally to ask questions questions i so have rights to ask , for one i am looking into taking this matter to court, though it has been a long time ago, i do believe that it is necessary not only for myself but for thousands to at least have their input on what happened to them, as i see libby is walking free, and so is art, along with so many others who indeed, took it into their hands not to do a back ground on whether these children were indeed drug addicts, i was not a drug addict, and i had never even seen drugs, i was 13, by the way i think cigarettes are a way powerful drug that art and his klan sure thought was okay to give to young minors. Me being one of those minors.What I do not understand is why is no one around now to get together as humans not seedlings and ex seedlings, so that some of us that lives were shattered and still are at times, why is there not some place we can all just sit and ask questions and tell those fools what it really did to us, not that they would care, and I'm sure they would say they did nothing, but i am saying what happened to me from now on, been years that i wanted to say i am so sorry for being the bait that brought my sister and brother to that place, a place of nothing but nightmares, i had to con the coners to get out, it was not fun the first time, the second time i split, told both my father and mother they would never see me again, my father had no clue my mother put us in that place , he was out of town, but i also did not care as i did not trust any one of them at this point,so at 13 the next 20 some odd years i was the one who stayed away from every last soul i could.Family i did not trust, and i sure was not going to go back to school as i knew i would be captured, my friends for sure thought bad things about me at that point too, not fun when every where you look you think someone is following you, knew my sister was harmed we never spoke of it, we just kinda left it, maybe we both wanted our lives to be free from it so we just left it at that, i think few times we had our tears of anger, i know i would have showed tears to all if i had my way, and was not so much afraid of my own family, i mean imagine not seeing at that age for years to come anyone, nor being around anyone you loved or lived with for so many years to come, again i was 13, see when i was there i became an old comer myself, ( imagine an oldcomer at 13) for some reason like all we were started over, well after that i knew i had to do something, so i split, when all thought i was again a born again seedling and went home i just told mother and father that's the last time they would see me because i was never stepping foot back in that place,so lets see they managed to take a 13 year old girl, remove her from her home,( by which i had never ran away from) force her to lie and say she did drugs, took her away from school, while she was there, i wont go into how i was taken there too graphic, but i did not go on my own free will, and i was in school at time and i had never done anything to be brought to a place that was experimenting on people. wow it all just makes me so angry and upset that they still have places like this, movies done like the gw. i am going to say this, if anyone at all thinks it is right to experiment on people without their knowledge, see i just recently found out it was an experiment, and since the papers and blogs i read say that, i am so going to be compensated for what all you did to me, call it an experiment all you want, it was the most horrible thing you could force someone with out a problem other then her mother was too busy to want to take charge of her kids while going through a divorce is all, she in return while putting young kids in that place had her freedom is all, my mother and i finally talk without hating one another over this matter, why because i am no longer afraid to say what happened, and i do speak the honest truth, i taught myself to be true to me the day i entered that place, you may not think so but kids are smarter then one thinks, while all were busy abusing me, i had a soul there i trusted with my heart,i have her name and her letters she wrote me before she finally left , hopefully for good, for she was court ordered to that place, but she told me every time that i thought i was going to be taken,( meaning scared i lost my true self) to close my eyes, and just think of a place and she will be there with me always, what she meant was to be strong and know that there is a real place on the outside looking in to heal you, so i did daily for that was what i had to grasp on, was my self, seeing me with her in greynolds park was how i got through this madness, greynolds park was a place i use to go to as a child close to my home a huge park, i would go there to think about life and just to be free from the silliness at home) I would close my eyes and me and Mida were in the park together, i see her in my heart now rather then just the park, she saved my soul from being tortured assured me i was okay and that i had done nothing wrong , explained a bit what i may encounter too along the way of being in there, and said just don't let them see them making you cry, that's when you know they broke you, is if you wept, well i tried not to weep, unless i was being beaten or being pushed or just sat on to keep from running, yes i tried running daily,but i stopped after i learned to con my way out, after the learning to con, i started feeling like i had them, oh i knew as soon as i was given my freedom of the outdoors and no one holding me down, i was no longer going to see that place, so no they did not get my soul, but they almost did, see at times you become drained to a point that you just have to give up, but i was a strong girl, i hung in, plus i was pissed because they did not know me as a person, just as a body in a chair, before i went to that place i was a free spirit, still am, but i am a tough soul now from the abuse, i trust few, still have little to do with family, as they made me believe that mine hated me all these years, screaming in a child face all day long putting them down and saying that you are worth less gets to a soul after awhile, no one would under stand this unless you went through it. i went through plenty, i have never wanted to die, but dying would have been peaceful, still i had not given up hope of ever getting out, i do not remember time nor do i remember days like a normal kid would, as they did not mean anything at that point to me, still to this day i am well a bit a confused from time and dates, i have tried staying as free from everything in life since i left that place, freedom to me is the most valuable thing i have in my life, i will be damned if it is ever taken from me, that's the only thing they had on me in there is the fact that i could not get up and just go,because that place would have been empty,so i hope they know that even a 13 year old beat them down back then, i use to chuckle in my head at the staff members, they were just a bunch of ex convicts looking to stay out of jail those, pussy's. I will say this if anyone ever needs a true soul to confide in look me up ill hug you tell you i love you but i will mean it, anyone at all that hurts from this happening talk to me chat to me, there are so many that shut this place out of their minds , and so many years it comes back to haunt you like it was yesterday. I pray that all facilities as this one will get shut down,to all you parents that put your kids in there, be prepared to not have a relationship ever with your kid, because that's not all it will do, it will harm your child in so many ways, how about just talking to child, are better yet try not having so many kids so you all can take care of your offspring, because i never feel like i am my mothers daughter, only a body she had, sad to feel that way, if you think your kids hates you now, try sticking them in a place that wants to experiment on your kid. see then what they think about you. Peace to everyone, and those who have not had a true friend from this, remember you are your own best friend for real take care of yourselves. no one else will, i am soo sooo sorry for all those in programs like this, i really felt sick thinking about the children that suffer to this day. Anyone that i can relate to please contact me. Hurting and being mad makes it worse, there should be a place for victims like myself to go to, Peace forever.(Called libby today she does not want to listen. Should tell you something there.)
