Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > The Troubled Teen Industry
WASSPS'S Loving Care
spots:
This is an exchange I initiated on voyforums. I really wanted an answer, and not for the sole purpose of knowing what to fight. I really wanted an answer. Every so often, I am exhausted by the fight, and every so often, I wonder if there could be any goodness in WWASPS's treatment.
[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: WWASP Love
Author:
rivergait
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Date Posted: 12:17:40 08/14/03 Thu
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I hear continually from parents (not kids) in WWASPS about how the program "loves" the kids, how the staffers surround them with "love".
This is not a flippant request. Can you give me some examples of what love is from a stranger? What happens to change an employee of a firm into a lover of his charges? Somehow I can't see even a devoted mentor teacher in a university setting "loving" a student. Is this a variation of Tough Love?
As I said, this is not a flippant request. I'd really like to know why some parents feel this way.
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[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: WWASP Love
Author:
Gail
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Date Posted: 13:17:55 08/15/03 Fri
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Rivergait - what is love from a "stranger." The staff are not "strangers." The love comes not from the outside, but from the inside, the heart. They see the good in our kids even when they don't see it themselves. They listen, they encourage, they're never too busy to stop what they're doing and take time for whatever they need. They say, "YOU CAN" - They see when they are making good decisions and acknowledge them for it, not just with points, but with their words. They use their own time, and often money, to take them on off campus activities. They have a spirit of "we", not "us and them." Some are not texbook teachers, but life experience teachers and role models. Talk to any grad and they will tell you more.
I was around them enough to know they truly do love each one even when the kids don't love themselves. It's not the "program" that loves them, it's the person in ways that I can't properly explain. You'd only need to experience it yourself to understand.
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I was surprised by the "truthfulness" of Gail in her response. I believe she really believes. To the survivors who post here, what do you think? [and I expect an explosion of hate] ...but were there ever times, or staffers, who were nice to you? Was there *ever* a time when you were allowed off-campus time, i.e., paid for by a loving staffers own money, etc.?
Signed, Sue Kolbo, "Woodbury Groupie (not PURE) by way of reading strugglingteens more than PURE.
Anonymous:
Spots - "What if" your daughter would agree for you to go to Casa by the Sea (with her) so you could see with your own eyes what Gail is saying may be true? I acknowledge your being left to imagine all the horror stories as being true has been very hard for you. What your daughter is doing sounds like torture, because you DON'T know.
I would talk to her, write to her, whatever means you have and tell her that all you want to do is KNOW that she is safe and loved and all you have to go on is newspaper articles and stories that you read.
It's easier to believe the bad stuff if you don't have knowledge of the good stuff.
spots:
Well, visiting Ensenada with her mother might be fine and dandy, and certainly an option that I hadn't considered. However, ONE BIG PROBLEM.......
Even her mother is not allowed to see her yet. Gee, and it's only been 9-1/2 months. She just got her Level III last month, with one short monitored phone call, and, gosh-oh-golly, she still hasn't *earned* a visit by her mother. Now, if I really wanted to see if she was being loved and not chained to the hallway wall by her wrists, I guess I could wait until Christmas or so and then ask to visit with Mom. Oh, but that's not a real visit; that's only PC1, a 3day seminar on-site only for family that has passed the Discovery seminar themselves.
But I'll definitely keep it in mind. The original posting on this thread had to do with the loving staff spending their own money to take kids on off-site field trips. Maybe that happens after the kids have been in WWASPS for 2 or more years, but for the 80% who don't graduate and are pulled beforehand, I bet they never see the outside of those 20-ft. stucco walls with huge wooden stockade gates until their families arrive at the gates to take them home.
Ya know, I posted this "love" question with a tiny bit of an open mind, but that opening just snapped shut. It is a horror story, and I believe everything I read, short of physical abuse, at Casa by the Sea. Suggesting I visit and see for myself how well she is doing???? Are you crazy???? Seems like you don't have a modicum of experience with these folks. Who are you, anyway, Anon?
Anonymous:
Spots - as you stated you believe everything you read, short of physical abuse, I am providing a link to what I think you've already found in these pages. Some are written by the staff, as well.
I know how easy it is to believe the negative. I find myself there more often that I'd like. As I read these pages, I see another side.
I also understand more of "why" it takes some students longer to "get it" than others. Your daughter can see her child anytime, but has chosen to wait until her daughter feels it's important enough. I've also read some that say they read "trust the program", however, I have read "trust the process" which makes a lot more sense.
What has stopped you from going to the Discovery seminar? Would your daughter be more open to your involvement if you took the first step?
Anonymous:
http://www.wwasp.com/thesource.htm - Here's the link.
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