Author Topic: seed indeed  (Read 262 times)

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Offline Anonymous

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seed indeed
« on: June 14, 2009, 11:01:58 AM »
Hi Tony,
I am sorry you had to endure that in your life, regardless of your specific situation.
I was one of 6 family members who were entered into the program from 72-73.
The first was my 9 year old cousin, followed by my 13 year old sister, who was beaten and rolled up in a rug to sub do her.
I was told I was going to visit them , it was a lie,complete shock for me.
Rule #1: "Honesty is the policy"
I was an A student, worked part time and was saving $$ for college.
The next year of my life was a nightmare I have suppressed over the years and has caused a serious impact on the  non relationship I have with my mother .
I can say I hate her without hesitation for what she did to my sister, my brother and myself. It is not fogivable, and never will be, to me.
I actually learned  more about drugs and sex in the program than I ever experienced "on the streets".
My streets were the beach, riding my bicycle and playing records.My friends were other A students with big goals and ambition. I wasn't the most popular kid at school but I was OK with who I was.
I wanted to be an architect or design furniture, clothes and interior spaces. At 16 , those ideals should have been the focus of my early teen years.
Instead it was spent convincing myself and others that I was a druggie and a sexual misfit doomed to a life of insanity and ultimately death.
At 52, I realise we are all going to die so they did get that part right.
That institution raped me of my purpose and stole something in my core that can never be replaced.
When I try to tell my mother this, she changes the subject, doesn't want to hear it. I still think she should have to go through it herself.
At this point in my life, I just want to be sure that no other people have to be subjected to this type of torture that has long term consequences, far greater than the few puffs of pot.
Ironically, my physician has prescribed medical marijuana to me to address the full time lower back pain I live with every day which is attributed to hours of being forced to sit on those horrible metal chairs.
I have not yet filled that prescribtion but keep it as a reminder that the state I live in does not believe it is medically illegal.
To this day, if i go to a seminar for work,  I stand in the back of the room or if I sit, I turn that chair around and I always bring a pillow and blanket.
Sorry for rambling but it seems that once I start writing, it pours out.
I hope you are well and happy and have somehow managed to cope after your experience.
Healing wishes.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Antigen

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Re: seed indeed
« Reply #1 on: June 14, 2009, 12:33:16 PM »
Were you in Ft. Lauderdale? We may know some of the same folk.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
"Don\'t let the past remind us of what we are not now."
~ Crosby Stills Nash & Young, Sweet Judy Blue Eyes