ive been out of asr for a few months now but it honestly still bothers me. it fucked up high school so bad for me. all my friends are applying to college and i have no aps, no extra cirriculars. i never did drugs before i got sent there, i just skipped school. being escorted fucked up the trust with my parents so bad. i still cant believe they did that to me. i understand they were scared but they dont know what it was like spending a year there. when i try to think about it it doesn't even feell like part of my life, it feels so surreal. i cant believe it happened. its easier for me to pretend that a year of my life just vanished because i just dont understand how that could have happened to me. they wasted so much money on it and now i'm starting at a new school for the third time in three years and no one understands how hard it is to adjust. i've gotten no help from asr, even though we paid the 90,000 for a full year there, just because i got pulled instead of graduated. its so hard to explain what its like there.it still scares me. i've had dreams about bitching out the staff there. i just feel literally like part of my life disappeared. like i never get to be a real teenager because halfway through it i was basically imprisoned. this isn't fair.
it makes me so sad to think about because it feels like such a waste. thats my time that i'm never getting back. its such a waste i regret it so much and i didn't even get to make that choice for myself. i didn't even know about it until the night i left. it feels like life-rape like someone took my life and raped it up the asshole. who the fuck would do that to me its so ridiculously not fair. that school is a liar. they took my money and my time so i cant get into or afford college anymore. i mean shit this is my life, its not some fucking game for crc to make money off of. they fucking employed alcoholics, potheads, some crazy bitch who fucked students & bought them alcohol, redneck who beat the kids in dorms. they over medicated us, prescribed us shit thats stronger than a lot of what kids were doing before they got sent away. kids never even met with a doctor, they were prescribed by someone who wasn't even qualified. no confidentiality, bullshit therapy, random dorm searches, harassment. where the fuck is there right pull that shit on us.
kids snorted pills, drank hand sanitizer, were desperate to get out of there. all phonecalls, letters, emails, when they were allowed, were monitered.
no certification for the therapy, underqualified teachers.
they fucking lied. they took our money and our lives and lied to us and left a lot of us worse off than we were before.
treatment shouldn't traumatize. i'm going to have to live with this for the rest of my life when i didn't fucking do shit more than any normal teenager does and i dont deserve this shit. it isn't fair.it isn't fair this fucking bullshit waste of time` program has to be a part of my life now. i dont want to live withh this i dont want it to be a part ofme i jsut want it all to go away. this shouldn't be my life.
