Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > The Ridge Creek School / Hidden Lake Academy
HIDDEN LAKE ACADEMY,INC. FILES BANKRUPTCY
Anonymous:
Alarm: Parody
“The State of Atlantis Vs. Spongecake”
THE HONORABLE JUDGE MALCOM BOOB PRESIDING
..ALL RISE...
Judge Boob: Good morning. We are broadcasting live this morning , as we decided if the Federal government did it, we should. We have some serious issues at hand, so we will cut to the chase and it has been some chase from what I am told. Counsel for the State please identify yourself.
Prosecutor: Good morning your Honor. I am counsel for the State, Josh D. Crotchet.
Judge Boob: Sir, did you say CROCKET as in Davey? I hope.
Prosecutor: No Sir, it is C-R-O-T-C-H-E-T, Crotchet.
Judge Boob: Yes, yes, I was afraid of that. Thank you counsel. Defendants counsel?
Defense attorney: Present your Hon..hon..or..rr..rr, my name is Le-roy … Just, Just.
Judge Boob: Just what?
Defense attorney: Just, J-U-SSS-TTT.
Spongecake: ( under his breath) Now I am truly f**ked… (to attorney) For Christ’s sake you didn’t tell me you couldn’t talk! You stutter!
Defense attorney: ( to Spongecake) You nev…vvver er asked Swee…tums. All ‘you’ dd..id..was ratt..ttle on about your cc..case…ttt..old me yaya..ou need…dded an att..ttorney. MMy mou..th wwas a lit..tttle bb..busy, so, so I ga..gave yaya..ou my..my ccard an..nnd yaya..ou said tatato meet yaya..ou here at.t tthis time. S..so, h.here I amm.
Spongecake: I thought you couldn’t talk because ’you’ were busy!
Judge Boob: Mr. J-U-S-T?? Counsel, what the Hell is going on?
Spongecake: Your Worship, I need help!
Judge Boob: You are out of order Spongecake and we are well aware you need help, we will do everything in our power to see you get it, but good, now sit your ass down. And where the Hell did that stand come from?
Spongecake : (raising his hand)
Judge Boob: Yes?
Spongecake: Judge Chicken donated it.. .. Judge, my attorney cannot talk, he cannot defend me. He cannot talk for God’s sake!
Judge Boob: Mr. J-U-S-T can you raise your hands, if you can, raise one arm, now. Good. Now, one arm will be for yes and two arms up for no. Bang the table to Object. Got it? Now we want everyone to know that this is an equal opportunity court and State, we don’t need the likes of the A.C.L.U. in here or Stutterers Anonymous claiming we did any injustice. We like everyone, right Mr. J-U-S-T?
Defense attorney: (raisies one arm)
Spongecake: I OBJECT, THIS IS UNCONSCIONABLE..
Judge Boob: Mr. Spongecake, if I were you I would not throw that word around, ‘cause as we all know, it will come back to bite you, especially you, in the ass. Any objections Mr. J-U-S-T?
Defense attorney: (laughing, raises two arms)
Judge Boob: You did that really well. Now let us move on… Mr. Crotchet?
Prosecutor: I am your Honor. The State calls defendant Spongecake.
…Spongecake gets sworn in.. head hanging…
Prosecutor: Good morning Mr. Spongecake. Do you know what ARSON is? ARSON is the crime of deliberately and maliciously setting fire to structures. I would like to take you back to late Spring of last year. There was this fire, do you recall?
Spongecake: Yes, I was told about it. I was not there.
Prosecutor: You weren’t there? On the premises? Where were you?
Spongecake: I don’t recall, it was awhile ago. I have been under a lot of stress lately and my memory is not so good. Everything seems to be coming down on me, I feel like I can’t breathe.
Judge Boob: Well, now you know how Mr. J-U-S-T felt. Ha!
All: laughter in the court
Prosecutor: The State Fire Marshall in his deposition stated that the accelerant used literally obliterated the place within a few minutes. Even though you were not there, would you happen to know what kind of accelerant would do that much damage so quickly, and not leave a trace?
Spongecake: Wish I could help, no idea.
Prosecutor: You built a new administrative building, yet you kept ‘all’ the files in the old building? Everyone had to walk downstairs and over to the old building to get the files? Doesn’t seem too convenient does it?
Spongecake: We had a runner, I believe and it was nice to get out..
Prosecutor: Did you carry insurance on the building?
Spongecake: I am not sure, I would have to ask my accountant and the bank.
Prosecutor: Well, from wh
at I read about the Federal trial, I do not think either of your accountants will answer your call. They testified against you. Did you receive any settlement from any insurance company because of loss due to fire?
Spongecake: I may have, again, you would need to check with my accountant.
Prosecutor: We did Sir.
Spongecake: Well, there you have it.
Prosecutor: Have what?
Spongecake: It.
Prosecutor: Did you hire someone to torch the building? A professional?
Spongecake: You would have to ask them.
Prosecutor: Did you burn down your own building?
Spongecake: Do I look that stupid?
Prosecutor: Frankly, yes.
Defense Attorney (bangs on desk)
Judge Boob: Objection sustained. Look Mr. Crotchet, this isn’t getting us anywhere. We already have sworn affidavits, delivering who, what, when and where.
Prosecutor: I just wanted to give Mr. Spongecake the opportunity to come clean….to set things right.
Defense attorney: (raises one arm)
Judge Boob: SUSTAINED. I understand where you are coming from Mr. Crotchet, you are a good man, but read my lips, this isn’t Universal , he isn’t Casper and that ain’t going to happen. Mr. Spongecake doesn’t get it. He has proved time and again that an affidavit means nothing. He’d do well in Washington. Well,actually ,not anymore. We will pick this up after lunch and I will give you my ruling.
..all rise…
Court Convenes…
THE HONORABLE JUDGE MALCOM BOOB PRESIDING
…ALL RISE…
Judge Boob: Afternoon. All present? I hope you all enjoyed your lunch and Mr. Spongecake, I hope you had a light one. At this time, I would like to re-iterate that this court is not going to take responsibility for lynching this man, Mr. Spongecake. It is apparent nary a soul could accomplish this as well as he has himself. (smiling bright toward the cameras)… I would also like to state for the record, I have thoroughly enjoyed having Mr. J-U-S-T in my court, as we are Special Needs friendly…you are welcome back any time Mr. J-U-S-T. (applause, cheers) Order… Now Mr. Spongecake will you rise and when you leave, take that damn ‘portastand’ with you. Do you have anything to say Mr. Spongecake?
Spongecake: Your Worship, I have two more trials in your court, may I bring the stand back?
Judge Boob: Son-of-a-bitch…I will grant that, I guess we have to see you, to try you. This court finds for THE STATE …Congratulations Mr. Crotchet. This court will stay sentencing, until the court hears the other related and relevant cases, in The State vs. Spongecake.. Enjoy the Holiday weekend everyone.
Judge Boob: ( motioning toward the defendant, mouthing the words) You should have given more to the Museum you tight little bastard!
Adjourned.
…all rise..
Anonymous:
Court Convenes…
The State of Atlantis vs. Spongecake – Arson -Continuance
THE HONORABLE JUDGE MALCOM BOOB PRESIDING
…all rise…
Judge Boob: Good morning. First I am not thrilled to say the least, for the reason we are back here. The Defendant, Spongecake has filed a motion, pro se, for mistrial and to dismiss ARSON charges based on court error. I “sustained” Mr. J-U-S-T ‘s single arm, meaning yes, when I shouldn’t have. I took it as an objection. My apologies to the people of the great State of Atlantis. I am biased beyond contempt for the weasel before me, I will recuse myself, and another Judge, who has ‘personally’ volunteered, will hear the other two cases. This court has no recourse‘at this time’,I declare a mistrial, case dismissed.
..panic in the courtroom… whispers…
“the SOB got away with it…again”.
Anonymous:
“The State vs. Mr. Spongecake” – Commitment/ Guardianship
The Honorable Judge Bela Horrifico Presiding …..
…..for my brother…
..all rise…
Judge Horrifico: (smiling,fangs, strong accent) Gooddd even-ning. I am aware dees ees high-ly ir-regular to holda court at nightt, but since the loss of my fam-ily and my sub-see-quent trip a-broad, I find the eve-nning sched-ule mora suit-table. Our lights are notieece-ably dim, as my eyes are light sens-seettive, coun-selors and the de-fen-edant weell also note a flash-a-light is pro-vided, to light their face, when spea--king. As we-a are live, cameras e-quipped with special len-ses and light-ing shall eee-mit from be-hind thee bench.
…murmurs in the court…
Judge Horrifico: To con-tin.yo… We are here-a to ex-amine and dee-tter-mine the Men-teel Stab-beelity of Mr. Spon-ge- cak and whether hee should-da be em-balmed,excuza, me, en-turrred….ooh, in an asy-lum or prison for thee een-sane. All-so…whethar or not a Mr. Co-lossus will be appoin-ted heess guardian.
Spongecake: NO! ( to attorney) What’s with this guy?
Judge Horrifico: De-fense, con-troll your clii-ent. I hear heem, but I don’t seeya heem. Ah, don’t for-get your Flash-a-light. I was going to ask if all were pres-sentee, but I seeya… Prosecu-tor…ident-eefy your-self…
Prosecutor: I am Yuri Hovritz, for the State, your Honor.
Judge Horrifico: Ah, Yu-ri, I knew your Grand-mother vell. She atten-ded all mya famee-lies fuun-erals. And fora, the De-fense?
Defense Attorney: (trembling) Mr. Je’sus Cross, for Mr. Spongecak, er, cake..
Judge Horrifico: Velcome, Mr. Je’-sus Cross, thees ‘ees’ going to be an in-ter-resting eve-nning. Yu-ri, my boy-a, you may bee-gin.
Prosecutor: Thank you , your Honor. The State has placed into evidence all depositions and testimony regarding Mr. Spongecake’s mental health, rather lack of it. No one in their right mind, could have consciously and allowed these events that have unfolded and publicized in the news ..
Defense Attorney: OBJECTION! The news is hearsay, your Honor.
Judge Horrifico: Un-for-tunat-ley, sus-tainedd.
Prosecutor: No one in their right mind, could have consciously and coherently allowed the events stipulated in the evidence to occur. It is the States contention that one, Mr. Spongecake, would have to be mad, totally insane, without scruples.. no heart..
Defense attorney: OBJECTION! Mr. Spongecake is not on trial here for his lack of scruples…
Judge Horrifico: To- a bad.. I mean, no-a heart..sus-tainedd.
Prosecutor: The good State of Atlantis last week, already took his license your Honor, for fraudulently changing client documents, just to name one unethical infraction. In evidence, there are numerous offenses that only a socio-pathic, narcissist would even think of committing. I tell you your Honor, it makes my blood curl.
Judge Horrifico: Point-t taken, Yu-ri. I must ad-mitt, eet ees not pale-table for me eithar, butt, weee shall see. Call Mr. Sponge-cak..
Prosecutor: The State calls Mr. Spongecake….
…Spongecake sworn in…
Prosecutor: Mr. Spongecake… Do you believe you are sane?
Spongecake: As sane as they come.
Prosecutor: Did you commit these atrocities that you are charged with, thus leading to this “Commitment” hearing?
Spongecake: I did not commit these atrocities.
Prosecutor: But, we have sworn affidavits…
Spongecake: As you and the media are well aware, they mean nothing.
Prosector: How could a sane person do all this?
Spongecake: One word counselor…money. And if I can answer that one, I am legally sane.
Defense attorney: OBJECTION! My client has no f**king idea what he is saying. Your Honor, there is still the IRS case, in which my client is waiting for sentencing. His statement here could have some bearing on his sentence. I move to strike my clients statement.
Judge Horrifico: DENIED… EEf I had blooddd, it would be boi-ling about now. We have-a crim-in-all asy-lums for people like Mr. Spon-ge-cak… all o-ver da world.
Prosecutor: Mr. Spongecake, I have two questions , did you willfully hurt all these people for your own gain? Do you feel any remorse?
Spongecake: Yes I willfully did and without reservation. Now try and prove I am nuts!
Porsecutor: If you had to do ‘it’ all over again, would you?
Spongecake: Absolutely.
….murmurs in the court…
Judge Horrifico: Order, wee shall tak a short re-cess for a late sup…I hear le’ café’ is ser-ving pasta ‘al dente’ and stak tar-tare… I weell be most hap-py to ren-der mya de-ci-sion af- ter sup-per.. Ohh, Mr. Co-lossus. Vould you be kind e-nough to join meeya in my-a cham-bers - for sup-per?
Mr. Colossus: (standing with flashlight under chin) I would be honored your ‘sweet’ Holiness…
…all rise…
The State of Atlantis vs. Spongecake – Commitment/ Guardianship Hearing Continued…
The Honorable Judge Bela Horrific Presiding
Judge Horrifico: Well, dat t’was a spe-tac-ular sup-per! ( Colossus walking to his seat in a daze, with his collar buttoned) All pres-ent? Gooddd. Let us pro-ceedd!
Spongecake: (to his attorney) What the Hell is wrong with Colossus? Look! (Colossus winks, smiles showing fangs) Oh, f**k, Oh f**k. Whore!
Judge Horrific: H’or douvres, did yo saya Mr. Spon-ge-cak ? Not n’yett. Let’tus be-gin. Yur-ri…
Prosecutor: The State of Atlantis feels justified in asking the court to find the defendant criminally insane. The State does not wish the defendant to see the “light of day” your Honor. The State rests.
Judge Horrific: I tink datt could be a-rranged. But-ta, first, weell thee de-fen-dant,Mr. Spon-ge-cak, pleesa rise, and nott to for-get youra flash-a-light. Mr. Spon-ge-cak…I tink eett only fair, to saya ta yo, dat yo deed not rec-cog-nize meya. Mya be-lov-ed wife and five cheel-dren were your cli-ents. Mya be-lov-ed wife, hung her-self, mya tree sons are in pree-son and mya bel-la daugh-ters are with their be-lov-ed mod-der. Mya cheel-dren ‘vent’ to ‘HELL’. I-ya do not holdda deese a-gainst yo – for thee re-cord. I canna see dem whenever I vish.
Defense Attorney: OBJECTION! OBJECTION! This is a lynching!
Judge Horrifico: Mr. Je’-sus Cross, ees eet? De-niedd. Yo hava mya word, deese isa no lyn-ching. Eet maya be mora lika ‘ yo taka bllooddd, and you giv-eth bllooddd.
Spongecake: Bite, me, you pontificating f**k.
Judge Horrifico: Thee thought of dat, re-pulses, eeev-en, meya.
(whispers in the court, laughter)
Judge Horrifico: Eet isa trav-esty that yo hava bin ah, a-ble ta a-void mya court fora..years. Baht, here-a yo ara. Seence, eet isa thees courts o-pin-ion, that-ah- weya need to pro-tect the People fromma yo, deese court findz fora Dee Stat. Yo will-a be re-manded to Chal-et Moor-es Institu-tionale A-cad-emy, in Ire-land, for a per-iodd of 18 monts. Thees should en-sura Yu-ri’s vish comes a true. Af-ter, 18 months at the Chal-et M.I.A. eff yo canna steel beya fandd, ya weel be placed ah, een thee a newa Alca-traz, which weel houz thee Guan-tonimo de-tainees anddd thee likes of yo…tank yo to a Non-cee Pel-lopee. Eff som-a--how yo geet out of therea, Mr. Col-ossus, ees gra-ted Guar-dian-sheep. Heya weel taka good cara yo. Mr. Spon-ge-cak, umm, velcome to HELL. Buon Giorno!
(Cheers from the courtroom)
Colossus: (moving in on Thorney, lights dimming) I weell dreenk to dat!
…all rise…
Anonymous:
I see a movie in the making. Casting ideas, anyone?
Anonymous:
Joe Pesci as Spongecake as he is so despicable...
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