HIDDEN LAKE ACADEMY,INC. FILES BANKRUPTCY

[Anonymous]

Court is in session..The Honorable Judge Chicken Presiding..All rise.

Judge Chicken: Good morn'in ya'll.
All:  Good morn'in ya Honor.
Judge Chicken:  Okay everyone present, anyone stuck in the LGR?  You have quite some day ahead of you Mr. Spongecake.  We do hope you have taken that into account and used permanent make-up today.
Spongecake: Yes your Honorshit...ship, ship.
..Judge peers over his glasses...
Judge Chicken: Prosecutor  Identify yourself.
Prosecutor #1: Present your Honor, #1 Federal, Big Kahuna.
Judge Chicken:  Good for you, you can piss on the little guy, while he sits in it. Defense?
Defendant attorney:  Present your Lordship, Honor.
Judge Chicken:  You may begin Mr. #1 Big Kahuna Prosecutor.  By the way, you got nice chickens in Hawaii?
I love chicken.  Have I told you about Ms. Jo Jo's chicken?  
Prosecutor#1:  yes, your Honor, yes to both.  May the People begin?
Judge Chicken:  As long as ya'll rap this up before noon, I got me another one of those free bar luncheons...
...Spongecake takes the stand... swears in with every extremity crossed...except the legs...
Prosecutor#1:  We are going back to the Church Fund. Can you tell the court where it went? What happened to it?  We would really like to clear this up, so we can get to the FTC violations this morning.  Did it go up in smoke, I mean, what did you spend it on?
Spongecake:  Yes, I guess you could say it went up in smoke, then again, I really don't know if it did or not.
Prosecutor#1:  Are we talking records?  It is my understanding, they were all shredded at your shredding party.  Let us go back.  You are being accused of
losing the Church Fund, and losing it and losing it and not just the fund, your mind.
Defendant attorney:  I OBJECT your HON..ER..OR.  Whether or not the defendant has lost his mind, is not on trial here, it has no relevance.
Judge Chicken:  SUSTAINED COUNSELOR!
Prosecutor #1: I apologize your Honor...  That is for another day, another prosecutor.
Judge Chicken: Well let me make something perfectly clear, I have about had it, another prosecutor, Federal?
Prosecutor#1:No ,State, mental health.
Judge Chicken: Well tell the SOB to take a freak'in ticket .  Wrap this part up counselor, we know he didn't throw the Church in Mount St. Helens, at this point I dont give a rats ass if he did, but he didn't 'cause I know people, and he would have jumped in after it.
Spongecake: Your Honor, I really don't know where it went it was thrown in  the kitty.
Judge Chicken:  Now we are onto cats.  I don't particularly like cats. Counselor?
Defendant attorney:  Your Honor- ship, my client is being honest, it got mixed up with everything, it went in, it went out, ..  He blames the accountant.
Judge Chicken:  Well, for Gods sake, I don't want him in here. And how many bank accounts are we talking about?
Prosecutor#!:  Judge,a shit load.
Judge Chicken: I like your honesty son. Arguments completed?  Okay, well I rule the SOB basically threw it in the Pacific, so he could jump in after it.
We will give notice when we shall tackle the FTC .

...all rise...

[Anonymous]

Court Convenes...  The Honorable Judge Chicken presiding...  all rise....

...Judge sachets in wearing sandals, proudly waving his hands...smiling...

Judge Chicken:  Morn'in ya'll.  I just want to thank Mr. Spongecake, your nail tech was a a creative whore. Everyone present?? Before we start, I would like to bring up what transpired in the other case yesterday, as it is pertinent to this case.  Since I don't want to chat anymore, regarding the Church whereabouts, and since I figured out what happened to it, I will rule regarding this case.
Federal prosecutor #2:  Your Honor....?
Judge Chicken:  Latitude my Boy..
Defendant Attorney: I OBJECT!
Spongecake:  I OBJECT!
Judge Chicken:  I wouldn't. DENIED!  Now as I was saying, I rule that the Church...Church, whatever, went into the Pacific, not into Mount St. Helens.  It probably came ashore in Hawaii, then onto Tahiti, ending up back in Atlantis.  They got chickens in Tahiti?? Counsel for The People, feel free to share this
with Prosecutor #1...the Big Kahuna.  I only got as far as the Pacific yesterday. That is my ruling. Now let's move on to the FTC...
Prosecutor #2:  At this time I would like to turn over questioning to my esteemed colleague....Esteem..
..Esteem rises..
Judge Chicken:  Now I freak'in object!
Defendants attorney: I OBJECT, too your Hon...
Judge Chicken:  Esteem?  You 'are' joking.
Esteem:  No your Honor. I am prosecutor #3.
Judge Chicken: and let me guess...you are from Tahiti...?
Esteem:  Yes your Honor...
Judge Chicken: Look you cronies have to learn that one of you can try a case!  I don't need all you suits taking up my time.  This is my courtroom and the freak'in country is going broke because of people like you and this Spongecake! And what is this "esteemed colleague" shit?  My name is Chicken, I, Lordy knows I love my chicken,but I ain't no chicken.  Mr. Spongecake loves dick, but he ain't no dick, um, strike that. You get my drift Boy?
Esteem:  Yes , your Honor.  May I begin? The FTC case , Sir.
Defendants attorney: Your Lordship, it is almost noon.
Judge Chicken: Excellent point counsel.  Ms. Jo Jo is making cornbread, special for me.  We will break and pick up the FTC at 1PM.

..all rise>>

[Anonymous]

ROFLMAO Thanks for the comic relief. Does everything have to be heard in Judge Chicken's court.
How could it be any better for HLA in Atlantis?

Since Atlantis is mythical and imaginary, it fits better into Bucchi's state of mind.

[Anonymous]

Court convenes.."The Honorable Judge Chicken Presiding"...all rise...

Judge Chicken:  Afternoon Gents, Ladies, I see we have alot more 'friends' this afternoon...CNN,MSNBC,FOX, DERANGEDO, gee Yancy Mace, is that you darl'in?
Even Saturday Night High Five? Gosh. Welcome to ya'll.  I didn't expect this case to generate so much interest. I know ya'll didn't come just to eat at  Ms. Jo Jo's, but I'll tell you, yesseree, she puts out some spread.  Yesseree.  Well, who we got this afternoon. Oh, yea, FTC. All present?  Oh, Mr. Spongecake, can I call you Spongie?  I had that stand brought in special for you this afternoon and that chair pad, raise you up a bit, to see your reaction and all.
Spongecake:  ( smiling wide)Gee thanks your Holiness.  Just what I wanted.  (under breath )" I am so screwed"
Judge Chicken:  Swear in  defendant, Spongie. Okay Mr. Esteem Prosecutor #3 your up!
Esteem:  Thank you your Honor.  Mr. Spongecake are you aware of the Federal Trade Commission, the FTC?
Spongecake:  It depends...
Esteem: Are you aware that you are in violation of FTC regulations if you falsely advertise and market something which you do not have? It is fraud.
Spongecake:  No Sir.
Esteem:  No Sir?  No Sir what?  You list the highest credentials, advertise all- in-one drop off service , market that you can fix any 'anomaly' known to man in HELL.
Judge Chicken:  What the Hell is an "anooomalee"?  Is that something catchy?  (laughter)  ORDER!
Spongecake: No Sir.
Esteem:  Mr. Spongecake, you can offer none of these, because you have none.
Spongecake:  Correct.
Esteem: Awe, we are finally getting somewhere. Would you please 'elaborate'?
Judge Chicken: (whisper to bailiff)  What kind of language do they speak in Tahiti?
Spongecake: I did not list anything.  I did not pretend to offer anything. I did nothing.  My marketing and advertising people thought it would be  an                  innovative' idea, pretty neat, huh!
Judge Chicken:  ..(to bailiff)  Now he's do'in it.  He from Tahiti, too?
Esteem:  Your Honor, the defendant is cagey, he wishes the court and The People to believe he knew nothing. It is the Peoples belief that he is one 'narcissistic'
 SOB and wouldn't know the truth if it pissed on him.  The People rest and ask for a swift resolution from your Honor, did he or didn't he know damn good and well what was being portrayed to an unsuspecting public regarding HELL.
Judge Chicken:  There goes that guy again. ( shaking his head) Nar, narspitic?
Defendants attorney : (asleep, wakes up) OBJECTION!
Judge Chicken: To what?
Defendants attorney:  To whatever I missed.
Judge Chicken: DENIED counselor. Spongie, it doesn't look good.The People are not happy with you and frankly whatever they seem to be saying, I am in agreement.  Defendant will please rise, on that there stand, (looking over at darl'in Yancy Mace). Okay nice and proper, Mr. Spongebobcake, you are one sneaky little guy.  I'll give you that much. But your number in this case is up and yes, you are screwed.
All: Thunderous applause. (Yancy Mace gives thumbs up)
Judge Chicken:  (Bidding thank you to his flock, bowing)  Okay Order!  Thank you , thank you. Order... Alrighty,(exuberant)  is Mr. Big IRS Kahuna in the court?
Mr. Big Kahuna, Prosecutor #1? what number is he? Yes! ( High fives bailiff)
Prosecutor #1: Yes your Honor.
Judge Chicken:  Testimony and cross in the case of the IRS(For The People) vs. Spongecake will resume at 10 AM tomorrow.  We kinda got to hurry this up, 'cause the State is coming down on my ass, taking all their glory and all. But Hell and damnation, those pussy's, they had 12 years and 'now' they want to expedite their hearings?, nice word, eh? Dinner is a call'in. Adjourned.


...all rise...

[Anonymous]

Court convenes…”The Honorable Judge Chicken Presiding”….   All rise…

Judge Chicken:  Good Morn’in.
All:  Good morn’in , your Honor
 This has been some week!  Shoot I have networks camped outside my house. The news is call'in this here "Sponge Gate". Everyone present?  Good. Being that this is live, I want to make a statement.  First, where is that damn ‘dictionary’ I asked for?  Thank you.  (reading a statement)This morning the defense felt the court is being too judge---mental? and asked for me to ‘recuse’, like that?,  re—cuse myself from the IRS case before the court. (under breath)Big  mistake, huge.  That motion was denied.  Now I want to make something perfectly clear, this court has no intention of lynching Mr. Spongegatecake.  It is’ apparent’, like that?, he needs no help to that end.   I would prefer to leave ‘that’ to the State.  I never lynched anyone that I know of, you understand that, don’t you Mr. Spongegatecake?
Spongecake: Unfortunately for me, your Worship.  (mumbling to himself) I am so deep in 'it'
Judge Chicken: Mr. Big Kahuna IRS prosecutor #1, it’s showtime!  (to bailiff )  The dictionary?
Bailiff:  It’s Hawaii, your Honor
Judge Chicken: (to bailiff) So get me one from Hawaii!
Prosecutor #1:  The IRS will prove beyond a reasonable doubt that Mr. Spongegate, ah, Spongecake, willfully defrauded
the Federal government of millions of dollars in tax revenue by padding the corporate expenses, double- even triple dipping at times, claiming numerous expenses that were actually paid for by its clients, co-mingling of non-profit funds with for-profit funds, using non-profit funds for  Mr. Spongecakes own gain
and thus, his own demise
Judge Chicken:  ORDER!
Spongecake:..shit..
Judge Chicken:  a truckload, to boot.
Defendant attorney:  Can I object your Lordship?
Judge Chicken:  I wouldn’t advise it…
Prosecutor#1:  As you will note your Honor, we still have not received the defendants financials during discovery.  It has been 5 years coming.
Judge Chicken:  5 years?  Where have I been? Let’s see…JoJo’s, bar luncheons, bar dinners, skeet shoot’in, hunt’in, oh, yes and there’s my chicken farm…
Spongecake:  I bought  a chicken coup a few years back..
Judge Chicken:  That I do remember reading about, but there were no chickens, right?  Just green feed go’ in in and out of the ‘coup’
Proseuctor #1: Although we haven’t received Mr. Spongecake’s financials, the IRS data bank, proved  itself more than helpful.  I would like to submit all these 990’s, mark them as evidence. I would then ask the court to accept sworn testimony of clients that it was indeed the clients that paid for all the goods and services that Mr. Spongecake took as deductions. Then I would like to submit statements from 49 banks across the globe.
Defendants attorney: Objection.  Your Honorship, the defendant did not sign those 990’s, did not write them up, nor did he file them.  
Judge Chicken:  Let me guess.  The accountant did it.
Defendants attorney: Yes your Honorship, that’s right.
Judge Chicken:  Counselor, that won’t fly here!  Oh, yes, I go fly fish’in…maybe that’s where I’ve been. And you counselor are telling me… who signed the 990’s, other than the accountant?
Defendants attorney: His wife, Sir.
Judge Chicken:  Wife? As in Missus?
Defendants  attorney: Yes Sir.
Judge Chicken: ( laughter in the court) ORDER!  Counselor you wish this court to believe that Mr. Spongie over there has a wife?
Defendant attorney: Absolutely.
Judge Chicken: What ‘kind’ of ‘wife’?  Is the wife present in the court?
All:   Where is ‘she’?( everyone looking)
Judge Chicken:  Where is she?  What is her name?  Will the ‘wife’ please stand and give her name and state where she is from?
Wife: (standing)  Colossus, Sir, I am from Atlantis.
All:  shock, then hysterical laughter.
Judge Chicken: Well, Glory be, you certainly are, um Colossus . I see. One thing for sure, I don’t have to give you no stand.  And, I am glad we are back in Atlantis! (smiling)  They speak ‘American’ in Atlantis?
Wife:  No Sir, Greek.
Judge Chicken:  Oh…I , I see.(peering over his glasses in disbelief)
Defendant attorney: See your Honor, his wife.
Judge Chicken:  Is the accountant by chance here, too?
Defendant attorney:  Yes your Honor.
Judge Chicken: His name?  
Defendants attorney: There are two accountants your Honorship.  Drillie Gay and Thorney Morbid.
Judge Chicken: Seriously?
Defendants  attorney: Yes, SIR!
Judge Chicken:  and the bank accounts? The 40…40 some left?  Who’s holding them?
Defendants attorney:  Colossus, Gay and Morbid.
Judge Chicken:  Well, I have to give the three of you credit, ya’ll showed up.  The defendant as your ‘spouse’?? and ‘your’ client, seems to be throw’in ya’ll under the bus, an RV to be clear. Not that it is any skin off my ass.
Prosecutor #1:  Not so fast your Honor.  Colossus, Thorney Morbid and Drillie Gay ….I would like to submit their sworn testimony as evidence that the defendant, through his tirades and tantrums forced them to sign the documents under extreme duress.  
Judge Chicken:  So ordered, let me see their testimony…  Mr. Spongecake, they beat you to it, it is your ass that the bus appears to be dragging all the way to the FP.  In light of all that has taken place this morning and being that it is an hour passed my lunch with darl’in Yancy Mace at Ms. JoJo’s, this is my ruling. Mr. Sponge – cake…please stand, no stand on your stand…  The court is disturbed, not only am I late for the lunch of my Octogenarian, learned that one last night, sorry ass life,  it appears you have tried to screw the IRS,THE PEOPLE and this court , not to mention your, ah,’wife’?? and colleagues.  Your actions show no remorse, in true, nars..narspictic , that’s it, fashion.  To say, you have stepped in it, big time, well, there is light in my life ‘cause there is one more sorrier ass than mine.   I find for THE PEOPLE!
All:  Cheers..
Judge Chicken: (Smiling for the cameras, waving, bowing) GOD BLESS AMERICA!  (to bailiff) We are back in America, aren’t we?  GOD BLESS MS. JOJO!    Okay, folks, ORDER!  Mr. Spongecake, you are remanded to the State for now, DA Namanama – goochi, I think he is from Japan, once he has woked , er, worked you over the coals and The State concludes it ARSON case against you… your ass is mine for sentencing, you little prick.  Ah, Colossus, would you care to join little darl’in Yancy and me for lunch?
Yancy Mace:  Will you share your manicurist Judge?
Judge Chicken: I would if you tell me what the HEll that is.

Adjourned.

..all rise…

[Anonymous]

Alarm: Parody


“The State of Atlantis Vs. Spongecake”  

THE HONORABLE JUDGE  MALCOM BOOB PRESIDING

..ALL RISE...

Judge Boob:  Good morning.   We are broadcasting live this morning , as we decided  if the Federal government did it, we should.  We have some serious issues at hand, so we will cut to the chase and it has been some chase from what I am told.  Counsel for the State please identify yourself.
Prosecutor: Good morning your Honor.  I am counsel for the State, Josh D. Crotchet.  
Judge Boob:  Sir, did you say CROCKET as in Davey?  I hope.
Prosecutor:  No Sir, it is C-R-O-T-C-H-E-T, Crotchet.
Judge Boob:  Yes, yes, I was afraid of that.  Thank you counsel.   Defendants counsel?
Defense attorney:  Present your Hon..hon..or..rr..rr, my name is Le-roy … Just, Just.
Judge Boob:  Just what?
Defense attorney:  Just, J-U-SSS-TTT.
Spongecake: ( under his breath) Now I am truly f**ked… (to attorney)  For Christ’s sake you didn’t tell me you couldn’t talk! You stutter!
Defense attorney: ( to Spongecake)  You nev…vvver er asked Swee…tums.  All ‘you’ dd..id..was ratt..ttle on about your cc..case…ttt..old me yaya..ou need…dded an att..ttorney. MMy mou..th wwas a lit..tttle bb..busy,  so, so I  ga..gave yaya..ou my..my ccard an..nnd yaya..ou said tatato meet yaya..ou here at.t tthis time.  S..so, h.here I amm.
Spongecake:  I thought you couldn’t talk because ’you’ were busy!
Judge Boob:  Mr. J-U-S-T??  Counsel, what the Hell is going on?
Spongecake:  Your Worship, I need help!
Judge Boob:  You are out of order Spongecake and we are well aware you need help, we will do everything in our power to see you get it, but good, now sit your ass down.  And where the Hell did that stand come from?
Spongecake : (raising his hand)
Judge Boob: Yes?
Spongecake:  Judge Chicken donated it.. .. Judge, my attorney cannot talk, he cannot defend me.  He cannot talk for God’s sake!
Judge Boob: Mr. J-U-S-T can you raise your hands, if you can, raise one arm, now. Good. Now, one arm will be for yes and two arms up for no.  Bang the table to Object. Got it?  Now we want everyone to know that this is an equal opportunity court and State, we don’t need the likes of the A.C.L.U. in here or Stutterers Anonymous claiming we did any injustice.  We like everyone, right Mr. J-U-S-T?
Defense attorney:  (raisies one arm)
Spongecake:  I OBJECT, THIS IS UNCONSCIONABLE..
Judge Boob:  Mr. Spongecake,  if I were you I would not throw that word around, ‘cause as we all know, it will come back to bite you, especially you,  in the ass. Any objections  Mr. J-U-S-T?
Defense attorney:  (laughing, raises two arms)
Judge Boob: You did that really well.  Now let us move on…  Mr. Crotchet?  
Prosecutor:  I am your Honor.  The State calls defendant Spongecake.
…Spongecake gets sworn in.. head hanging…
Prosecutor:  Good morning Mr. Spongecake. Do you know what ARSON is?   ARSON is the crime of deliberately and maliciously setting fire to structures. I would like to take you back to late Spring of last year.  There was this fire, do you recall?
Spongecake:  Yes, I was told about it.  I was not there.
Prosecutor:  You weren’t there?  On the premises? Where were you?
Spongecake:  I don’t recall, it was awhile ago.  I have been under a lot of stress lately and my memory is not so good. Everything seems to be coming down on me, I feel like I can’t breathe.
Judge Boob:  Well, now you know how Mr. J-U-S-T felt.  Ha!
All:  laughter in the court
Prosecutor:  The State Fire Marshall in his deposition stated that the accelerant used literally obliterated the place within a few minutes.  Even though you were not there, would you happen to know what kind of accelerant would do that much damage so quickly, and not leave a trace?
Spongecake:  Wish I could help, no idea.
Prosecutor:    You built a new administrative building, yet you kept ‘all’ the files in the old building?  Everyone had to walk downstairs and over to the old building to get the files?  Doesn’t seem too convenient does it?
Spongecake:  We had a runner, I believe and it was nice to get out..
Prosecutor:  Did you carry insurance on the building?
Spongecake:  I am not sure, I would have to ask my accountant and the bank.
Prosecutor:  Well, from wh
at I read about the Federal trial, I do not think either of your accountants will answer your call.  They testified against you.  Did you receive any settlement from any insurance company because of loss due to fire?
Spongecake:   I may have, again, you would need to check with my accountant.
Prosecutor:  We did Sir.
Spongecake: Well, there you have it.
Prosecutor: Have what?
Spongecake:  It.
Prosecutor:  Did you hire someone to torch the building?  A professional?
Spongecake: You would have to ask them.
Prosecutor:  Did you burn down your own building?
Spongecake:  Do I look that stupid?
Prosecutor:  Frankly, yes.
Defense Attorney (bangs on desk)
Judge Boob:    Objection sustained.  Look Mr. Crotchet, this isn’t getting us anywhere. We already have sworn affidavits, delivering who, what, when and where.
Prosecutor:  I just wanted to give Mr. Spongecake the opportunity to come clean….to set things right.
Defense attorney:  (raises one arm)
Judge Boob: SUSTAINED.  I understand where you are coming from Mr. Crotchet, you are a good man, but read my lips, this isn’t Universal , he isn’t Casper and that ain’t going to happen.  Mr. Spongecake doesn’t get it.  He has proved time and again that an affidavit means nothing. He’d do well in Washington. Well,actually ,not anymore.  We will pick this up after lunch and I will give you my ruling.

..all rise…

Court Convenes…

THE HONORABLE JUDGE MALCOM BOOB PRESIDING

…ALL RISE…

Judge Boob:  Afternoon. All present?  I hope you all enjoyed your lunch and Mr. Spongecake, I hope you had a light one.  At this time, I would like to re-iterate that this court is not going to take responsibility for lynching this man, Mr. Spongecake.  It is apparent nary a soul could accomplish this as well as he has himself. (smiling bright toward the cameras)… I would also like to state for the record, I have thoroughly enjoyed having Mr. J-U-S-T in my court, as we are Special Needs friendly…you are welcome back any time Mr. J-U-S-T. (applause, cheers)  Order…  Now Mr. Spongecake will you rise and when you leave, take that damn ‘portastand’ with you.   Do you have anything to say Mr. Spongecake?
Spongecake:  Your Worship, I have two more trials in your court, may I bring the stand back?
Judge Boob:  Son-of-a-bitch…I will grant that, I guess we have to see you, to try you.  This court finds for THE STATE …Congratulations Mr. Crotchet.  This court will stay sentencing, until the court hears the other related and relevant cases, in The State vs. Spongecake..   Enjoy the Holiday weekend everyone.
Judge Boob: ( motioning toward the defendant, mouthing the words)  You should have given more to the Museum you tight little bastard!

Adjourned.

…all rise..

[Anonymous]

Court Convenes…

The State of Atlantis vs. Spongecake – Arson -Continuance

 THE HONORABLE JUDGE MALCOM BOOB PRESIDING

…all rise…

Judge Boob:  Good morning.  First I am not thrilled to say the least, for the reason we are back here.  The Defendant, Spongecake has filed a motion, pro se, for mistrial and to dismiss ARSON charges based on court error.  I “sustained” Mr. J-U-S-T ‘s  single arm, meaning yes, when I shouldn’t have.  I took it as an objection. My apologies to the people of the great State of Atlantis. I am biased beyond contempt for the weasel before me, I will recuse myself, and another Judge, who has ‘personally’ volunteered, will hear the other two cases. This court has no recourse‘at this time’,I declare a mistrial, case dismissed.

..panic in the courtroom… whispers…
        “the SOB got away with it…again”.

[Anonymous]

“The State vs. Mr. Spongecake” – Commitment/ Guardianship

The Honorable Judge Bela Horrifico Presiding   …..

…..for my brother…

..all rise…

Judge Horrifico: (smiling,fangs, strong accent)  Gooddd  even-ning.   I am aware dees ees high-ly ir-regular to holda court at nightt, but since the loss of my fam-ily and my sub-see-quent trip a-broad, I find the eve-nning sched-ule mora suit-table.  Our lights are notieece-ably dim, as my eyes are light sens-seettive, coun-selors and  the de-fen-edant weell also note a flash-a-light is pro-vided, to light their face, when spea--king. As we-a are live, cameras e-quipped with special len-ses and light-ing shall eee-mit from be-hind thee bench.
…murmurs in the court…
Judge Horrifico:  To con-tin.yo… We are here-a  to ex-amine and dee-tter-mine the Men-teel Stab-beelity of Mr. Spon-ge- cak and whether hee should-da  be em-balmed,excuza, me, en-turrred….ooh, in an asy-lum or prison for thee een-sane. All-so…whethar or not a Mr. Co-lossus will be appoin-ted heess guardian.
Spongecake:  NO! ( to attorney)  What’s with this guy?
Judge Horrifico:  De-fense, con-troll your clii-ent. I hear heem, but I don’t seeya heem. Ah, don’t for-get your Flash-a-light. I was going to ask if all were pres-sentee, but I seeya… Prosecu-tor…ident-eefy your-self…
Prosecutor:  I am Yuri Hovritz, for the State, your Honor.
Judge Horrifico:  Ah, Yu-ri, I knew your Grand-mother  vell.  She atten-ded all mya famee-lies fuun-erals.  And fora, the De-fense?
Defense Attorney:  (trembling) Mr. Je’sus Cross, for Mr. Spongecak, er, cake..
Judge Horrifico:  Velcome, Mr. Je’-sus Cross, thees ‘ees’ going to be an in-ter-resting eve-nning. Yu-ri, my boy-a, you may bee-gin.
Prosecutor: Thank you , your Honor. The State has placed into evidence all depositions and testimony regarding Mr. Spongecake’s mental health, rather lack of it.  No one in their right mind, could have consciously  and allowed these events that have unfolded and publicized in the news ..
Defense Attorney: OBJECTION!  The news is hearsay, your Honor.
Judge Horrifico:  Un-for-tunat-ley, sus-tainedd.
Prosecutor:  No one in their right mind, could have consciously and coherently allowed the events stipulated in the evidence to occur.  It is the States contention that one, Mr. Spongecake, would have to be mad, totally insane, without scruples.. no heart..
Defense attorney:  OBJECTION!  Mr. Spongecake is not on trial here for his lack of scruples…
Judge Horrifico:  To- a bad..  I mean, no-a heart..sus-tainedd.
Prosecutor:  The good State of Atlantis last week, already took his license your Honor, for fraudulently changing client documents, just to name one unethical infraction.  In evidence, there are numerous offenses that only a socio-pathic, narcissist would even think of committing. I tell you your Honor, it makes my blood curl.
Judge Horrifico:  Point-t taken, Yu-ri.  I must ad-mitt, eet ees not pale-table for me eithar, butt, weee shall see. Call Mr. Sponge-cak..
Prosecutor:  The State calls Mr. Spongecake….
…Spongecake sworn in…
Prosecutor:  Mr. Spongecake… Do you believe you are sane?
Spongecake:  As sane as they come.
Prosecutor:   Did you commit these atrocities that you are charged with, thus leading to this “Commitment” hearing?
Spongecake:  I did not commit these atrocities.
Prosecutor:  But, we have sworn affidavits…
Spongecake:  As you and the media are well aware, they mean nothing.
Prosector:  How could a sane person do all this?
Spongecake:  One word counselor…money.  And if I can answer that one, I am legally sane.
Defense attorney:  OBJECTION!  My client has no f**king idea what he is saying.  Your Honor, there is still the IRS case, in which my client is waiting for sentencing.  His statement here could have some bearing on his sentence.  I move to strike my clients statement.  
Judge Horrifico:  DENIED… EEf I had blooddd, it would be boi-ling about now. We have-a  crim-in-all asy-lums for people like Mr. Spon-ge-cak…  all o-ver da world.
Prosecutor:  Mr. Spongecake, I have two questions , did you willfully hurt all these people for your own gain?  Do you feel any remorse?
Spongecake:  Yes I willfully did and without reservation.  Now try and prove I am nuts!
Porsecutor:  If you had to do ‘it’ all over again, would you?
Spongecake:  Absolutely.
….murmurs in the court…
Judge Horrifico:  Order, wee shall tak a short re-cess for a late sup…I hear le’ café’ is ser-ving pasta ‘al dente’ and  stak tar-tare… I weell be most hap-py to ren-der mya  de-ci-sion af- ter sup-per..  Ohh, Mr. Co-lossus.  Vould you be kind e-nough to join meeya in my-a cham-bers -  for sup-per?
Mr. Colossus: (standing with flashlight under chin) I would be honored your ‘sweet’ Holiness…      
 

…all rise…

The State of Atlantis vs. Spongecake – Commitment/ Guardianship Hearing Continued…

The Honorable Judge Bela Horrific Presiding

Judge Horrifico:  Well, dat  t’was a spe-tac-ular sup-per! ( Colossus walking to his seat in a daze, with his collar buttoned)  All pres-ent? Gooddd.  Let us pro-ceedd!
Spongecake: (to his attorney)  What the Hell is wrong with Colossus?  Look! (Colossus winks, smiles showing fangs) Oh, f**k, Oh f**k. Whore!
Judge Horrific:  H’or  douvres, did yo saya Mr. Spon-ge-cak ?  Not n’yett. Let’tus be-gin. Yur-ri…
Prosecutor:  The State of Atlantis feels justified in asking the court to find the defendant criminally insane.  The State does not wish the defendant to see the “light of day” your Honor.  The State rests.
Judge Horrific:  I tink datt  could be a-rranged.  But-ta, first, weell thee de-fen-dant,Mr. Spon-ge-cak, pleesa  rise, and nott to for-get youra  flash-a-light. Mr. Spon-ge-cak…I tink eett only fair, to saya ta yo, dat yo deed not rec-cog-nize meya.  Mya be-lov-ed wife and five cheel-dren were your cli-ents. Mya be-lov-ed wife, hung her-self, mya tree sons are in pree-son and mya bel-la daugh-ters are with their be-lov-ed mod-der.  Mya cheel-dren ‘vent’ to ‘HELL’.  I-ya do not holdda  deese a-gainst yo – for thee re-cord. I canna see dem whenever I vish.
Defense Attorney:  OBJECTION! OBJECTION!  This is a lynching!
Judge Horrifico:  Mr. Je’-sus Cross, ees eet? De-niedd.  Yo hava mya word, deese isa  no lyn-ching.  Eet maya be mora lika ‘ yo taka bllooddd, and you giv-eth bllooddd.
Spongecake:  Bite, me, you  pontificating f**k.
Judge Horrifico:   Thee thought of dat, re-pulses, eeev-en, meya.
(whispers in the court, laughter)

Judge Horrifico:  Eet isa trav-esty that yo hava bin ah, a-ble ta a-void mya court fora..years. Baht, here-a yo ara.  Seence, eet isa thees courts o-pin-ion, that-ah- weya need to pro-tect the People fromma yo, deese court findz fora Dee Stat.  Yo will-a be re-manded to Chal-et  Moor-es Institu-tionale  A-cad-emy, in Ire-land, for a per-iodd of 18 monts. Thees should en-sura Yu-ri’s vish comes a true.  Af-ter, 18 months at the Chal-et M.I.A. eff yo canna steel beya fandd, ya  weel be placed ah, een thee a  newa Alca-traz, which weel houz  thee Guan-tonimo de-tainees anddd thee likes of yo…tank yo to a Non-cee Pel-lopee.  Eff som-a--how yo geet out of therea, Mr. Col-ossus, ees gra-ted Guar-dian-sheep.  Heya    weel taka good cara yo.  Mr. Spon-ge-cak, umm, velcome to HELL.  Buon Giorno!

(Cheers from the courtroom)

Colossus: (moving in on Thorney, lights dimming)  I weell dreenk to dat!

…all rise…

[Anonymous]

I see a movie in the making. Casting ideas, anyone?

[Anonymous]

Joe Pesci as Spongecake as he is so despicable...

[Anonymous]

Sasha Baron Cohen as Judge Bela Horrifico

[Anonymous]

THE IRS(for the People) vs. SPONGECAKE – SENTENCING                

 The Honorable Judge Chicken Presiding
.....for Lancelot...

..all rise..

Judge Chicken:  Good morn’in ya’ll! A special welcome to the Press!  I had the privilege of running into a few of you at Ms. JoJo’s early on.   She whips up some grits, don’t she? This here hear’in is for the sentenc’in of Mr. Spongegatecake in the case of the IRS, for the People, vs. Spongegatecake.  Is everyone present? Prosecutor for the People?
Prosecutor:  Present your Honor.
Judge Chicken:  And ‘whom’, like that?, whom might you be?  Where is Mr. Big Kahuna Prosecutor #1?
Prosecutor:  I am DA Namagoochi.  I have taken over for Mr. Big Kahuna, your Honor.
Judge Chicken:  Now just one f**k’in minute.  I thought you were with the State of Atlantis, this here is Federal, flunky.  You are in the wrong GD courtroom, Mr.Namanana-gucci…freak’in Gucci?
Prosecutor:  It is Federal DA, Namagoochi, sir.
Judge Chicken:  You sure, boy?
Prosecutor:  Yes your Honor.  I’ve been chasing the SOB for years..
Judge Chicken:  Well, shoot, boy, I am not too big, to admit…you understand boy. And where you be from??
Prosecutor:  Japan, Sir.  And Sir, I came prepared, this is for you…(Namagoochi hands him an English dictionary)
Judge Chicken:  They speak English in Japan? Not American? You’re on top of things counselor, I like that!  Now counsel for the defense?
Defense attorney:  Present your honor.  Mr. Gumbo. Sault St. Luis.. Creole.
Judge Chicken:  Well Mr. Jumbo, less is more in your case, git my drift boy?
Defense attorney: Yes, Sir.
Judge Chicken:  And where is our little defendant?
Spongecake:  (grabbing the portastand and leaping on it, with the “flash-a-light”)
Judge Chicken:  What the sam hill are you do’in Spongebobcake?  What the f**k is that?
Spongecake:  The “flash-a-light” .
Judge Chicken:  Dimwhit, I know what a GD flashlight is, do you? A “flash-a-light”??  Put it up you moron…you are one sorry ass freak! Freak!
(Laughter in the court room)
Judge Chicken: (under breath)  Freak’in idiot. ORDER, COME TO ORDER.  SIT DOWN MR. SPONGEGATECAKE!  Control your client, JUMBO! ORDER!  Now where were we, oh, sentenc'in. Mr. Gucci, do you have anything further to add before I pass sentence?
Prosecutor:   The IRS representing The People ask that the defendant Mr. Spongecake be required to pay The People the 10 million dollars out of the defendants private coffers as the defendant’s business is facing foreclosure and has filed for Chapter 11 protection, so as not to have to pay The People.  
Defense Attorney:  OBJECTION!  We do not know why the defendant’s business has filed for Chapter 11.  There is no evidence that Chapter 11 was filed to prevent payment to The People.  Mr. Namagoochi  is also misleading this court to remotely infer that my client’s business has also filed Chapter 11 to stop the foreclosure on that business.
Prosecutor:  I never said ‘that’ your Honor.  If your Honor will allow,  evidence #40, clearly shows, not to be glib, where the beef was, where it went and where it is now.  The defendant’s business did not file for bankruptcy protection until after the judgement was issued by your Honor.
Judge Chicken:  You didn’t have to.  Objection noted and denied, there is a track record Mr. Jumbo.  They have tracks in Sault St. Luis? You git it, don’t cha boy? And I am sure Mr. Gucci over there ‘preciates your inform’in the court with regard to stopp’in the foreclosure.  That’s good counselor. Well I have ‘bout heard all I can take… It is gett’in toward noon and it’s time for….
(Bailiff trying to get the attention of the court, leaping up and down)
All:  Ms. JoJo’s! ( cheering)
(Bailiff still trying to get the attention of the court)
Judge Chicken:  Ya’ll are too much, really. I sure have had a fine time of it.
Defense attorney: Your Honor… where is my…
Judge Chicken: (interrupts)  Less is more, Mr. Jumbo. Will the defendant please rise? Mr.Spongegatecake?  Mr. Spongegatecake stand and be seen.  Bailiff?
Bailiff:  Last I saw him your Honor, he was on his knees, in the darkened area of the court, I think it was Mr. Colossus, yep, I think he was pleading to Mr. Colossus.
Judge Chicken:  Who was pleading to Colossus? I never saw Colossus today.
Bailiff:  Mr. Spongecake, I tried to get your Honor’s attention.  Mr. Spongecake high tailed it outside, flailing the flashlight around.  And Mr. Colossus disappeared, poof, gonzo, from what I could see.
(pandemonium ensues)
Judge Chicken:  Okay, calm down people, warrant is now issued, we’ll pick him up, he won’t get far.
Officer at back of Courtroom on phone:   All points bulletin. Apprehend Defendant Spongecake driving a Jaguar, with the letters F-A-G-U-A-R spray painted all over it, may have a flashlight…
Officer to Judge:  Got ‘em your Honor. Three minutes out.  They say he is babbling about giant teeth… crimson eyes, red tongues and waving that flashlight at everyone. Officers think he might need to be restrained, appears to be crazy as a loon.
Judge Chicken:  Now ‘that’ officer has foundation.  (three minutes pass, officers come bounding into the courtroom with an incoherent Spongecake) Come forward, come forward with the defendant. (Spongecake babbling away, eyes darting everywhere, whimpering) SILENCE, Mr. Spongegatecake and put down that damn flashlight! Take it from him for God’s sake!  
Spongecake:  Your Worship..Oh, your Worship….
Judge Chicken: Your Worship, my ass!  What the f**k is wrong with you?  No one leaves my court, unless I say so, you little twerp.
Spongecake: Big teeth, mammoth teeth, behemoth teeth..eyes, dark, crimson, black, red tongue…darting … I need my “flash-a-light”, give me my” flash-a-light”.
Defense attorney:  Judge, clearly my client is under a bit of stress…
Judge Chicken: Put a lid on it Creole!  CLEARLY, that is an understatement. Nice word, eh?  What the Hell did the guy eat for breakfast? ( as Judge raises his glass to drink, hesitates) Geez, is there someth’in wrong with the water? Bailiff, have some water… (Bailiff drinks water).. seems okay.  Give the defendant some water. Calm down the little SOB. ..Oh, f**k it, give him that damn flashlight. ORDER! GD IT, ORDER!  (base of the gavel breaks off, hits Spongecake’s head) There that’s better. Spongebobcake, you there, hellooooooooooo? Prop him up.  Mr. Spongebobcake, do you have anything to say before sentencing.  
Spongecake:  Gil…guil..ty. Ill… protect..eyes, giant teet…
Judge Chicken: Yes, yes you are. Since the defendant stated his guilt and the court found that he willfully defrauded the IRS for THE PEOPLE, I find for THE People.   The court rules that Mr. Spongebobcake must pay THe PEOPLE back with interest, out of his own pocket.  It is my understanding that the State of Atlantis is in the  wings wait’in to take you to a place where you can be totally free to be as nuts as you wish.  When  and ‘if’, and that is a big ‘if’, you return to your native soil, which I doubt, your  Federal sentence shall run concurrent with that of the great State of Atlantis… to which I am ‘guaranteed, you will never again see the “light of day.”  Thank ya’ll for join’in us ..(toward the media, waving, bowing)

(Spongecake curled on the floor, holding his “flash-a-light” tight to his neck)

Adjourned.

..all rise…

All:  (as Colossus moves further into the darkened corner, cheers and dancing).
..outside courthouse…where there is a media frenzy…
Judge Chicken:  There you are Yancy, darl’in. (doing a shuffle) How’s ‘bout join’in me for a spin to Ms. JoJo’s -  in that there F-A-G-U-A-R! Pretty damn colorful, yesseree!
Yancy Mace:  (under a rather large brimmed hat, sunglasses and parasol) I’d be delighted your Honor. ( flashing a brilliant fanged smile)

[Anonymous]

LOL. Brilliant.

[Anonymous]

Anyone stop to think how can they be filling bankruptcy when they made over a million per peer group?

[Anonymous]

Creative accounting, pokeyou, without regard to what's legal and what isn't. It's called How Much Can I Get Away With. Calling IRS.