Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > CAN ~ Collective Action Network

Message from Dianne Carter

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try another castle:
Of course, a good lot of program parents probably wouldn't even have the intelligence to home school a kid, which is why they pay other people do give them no education.


--- Quote from: "Oscar" ---Somehow being a parent I recognize a lot of the challenges. Not doing chores, tantrums, violence, making it on their own etc.

Well, I am a Dane and therefore coldharded.

Tantrums is greeted with silence, we walk away and abandon them. If you approach a child during a meltdown you are in fact rewarding them with attention. There is a reason for them to slam their doors. They need peace to work out their frustrations and peace is what they get. So we close the door making it easy for them to get their self-inflicted  timeout.

We had maggots in one of the rooms. Our kids have so much homework that they often eat in their room. They have done it since they were about 9. The only thing we demand is that they put things in the dishwasher, so when the oldest ignored our plea she had to suffer the consequences. That goes for cleaning their room also. If there is no room for me to use the hoover, their rooms don't get cleaned. During the Easter two days were used to remove cobwebs and dump a lot of things. Sometime you have to let things get out of hand to they are prepared to live on their own.

A friend had a very difficult daughter and she wanted to live on her own. So he challenged her. He would give her three weeks to live in a continuation school which are for the tough and at-risk kids. If she could make it with being kicked out she would pay for a one-room apartment down in the city. They are a kind of CEDU-light where the kids goes home most weeks. Rules are strict compared with our normal youth culture at some schools 34 % of the students are kicked out during a school year.

A typical day consist of:
06:45 Cleaning done by the students of the cleaning team. A law forbids chores being used as punishment, so all students have to do it.
07:00 Breakfast
08:00 Singing our National anthem and information for the day
09:00 School
12:00 Lunch break
12:00 School
16:00 - 16:30 School ends depending their individual education plan. Free time until dinner unless you are on the kitchen team
17:30 Dinner
18:00 Free time
18:45 Quiet / study hour in own room
20:00 Various activities or some common activity for the school
21:00 In own dorms
22:30 Lights out

She loved it at the place, stayed there for a year together with kids convicted for making bomb threats etc. and he had to digg down in his pocket. Of course he would have preferred that she was kicked out, so she would have learned to apply to his rules, but some kids need to go before they graduate or becomes 18.

I would have found a small room for her to live in years ago. Given her the basis. A bed, a table and chair where she could eat/study and a computer for homework. Then I would drop leftovers off in her freezer, so she had something to eat and collect dirty clothes if they are packed and ready. If you have prepared them well they will succeed else they will be coming crawling back.

As I have learned from that part of the story that is not about you but her, her problem was in the school system. As many kids in both your and mine culture, she needed smaller classes and a school with an anti-bullying strategy. As of 2008 all schools in Denmark will be sanctioned if they have not written such a policy down for a start and several schools have educated students to solve conflicts between other students, so the teachers can use their time to teach. In some schools mobile phones are allowed on in class so cyberbullying can be battled and the students can learn something about phoneculture. I just wonder if there are not special classes, semi-boarding schools, youth apartments (Monitored area) or alternative education in your area.

We have to deal with a lot of youth, who choose to look different. Emo, Goth, punk - you name it. They could easily be picked out as a target of bullying, but we allow it they group themselves in a subculture where the laws of the general society dont apply, so we have to remain open so they stay within our normal norms.

I was just wondering if there are not boarding schools she could have gone to as a part of a live-on-her-own challenge instead of overdoing it as it is the case with WWASP.
--- End quote ---

Oscar, thanks for this testimony of a friend. Thanks for your experience. This is the part of Fornits I appreciat6e, the education you unconditionally receive here.
Psy, thanks for turning me on to this forum.


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