Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > CAN ~ Collective Action Network

Mom of H.S. dropout needs help, not condemnation

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Antigen:
Hey, Wonderwoman, you're the grownup now. Gage the responses against that.  Most of us were children when this happened to us and we're responding from that place still.

Get your baby out of this mess.

Nuff sed.

Peace

wonderwoman2112:
Hey Antigen---I'm trying and that's what this post is all about.

Oscar:
We have agents on conductdisorders.com, which are a parent-forum. While they tend to overmedicate, many of them have come to the same conclusion. The TBS became warehousing. Some of them think that it kept their kids alive through a dangerous phase and the matureness gained during the program will see to that they will avoid death.

Some if you scan their "Parent Emeritus" forum, you will discover that some of them have no contact for years and other are following their adult kids to jail - time after time after time until the kid him- or her-self turn around.

Many of them have been forced to accept that a drug problem cannot be solved until the drug-user decide it is time.

So we have also tried to find out how the best approach to the world is after being locked up. Not because we have TBS's in Denmark, but we do have Afghanistan. The soldiers - many of them 18 to 20 years of age - return home suffering from PTSD. We now know that if you cut a person off from the real world and place them in a non-normal environment like a war-zone or a wilderness program or a TBS, there is a risk of PTSD.

We have learned that people returning home from an intense environment have to go through a transition-phase before entering the normal world. They also need free access to counseling for a number of years. An intense environment can be a war-zone where you can be shot but it can also be a program where there is opened a 6 lane highway into the darkest corners of the human mind. In a non-professional group therapy session which is the norm in most TBS's due to the cost of qualified staff, real damage can be inflicted because the normal psychological shield we all have are forced away during the lower levels, so the patients are vulnerable.

You have to go back to when she was released from the TBS. What did she or you do beside writing a home contract? Did you go to counseling? Did you shield her from most of the daily decisions other youth have to decide on? A TBS is a kind of operant conditioning chamber. The choices are few so she could concentrate on solving her problem guided by the staff outside the chamber. If you suddenly release people from such a box after a lenghty period what then.

We keep our soldiers in a camp in Denmark for a month when they return where their families can visit them any time. We have improved our communication with family while abroad. They have access to support-hotlines for the rest of their lives. We do a number of things, but still they turn up as criminals or are found dead. We are still in a process to learn, so I have not the golden solution to your problem.

But I feel that you have skipped the adjustment phase when she returned home. She need an out-of-the-box experience in an environment open and supportive, but at some distance from the temptation she is poorly equipped to handle.

That is the reason for my suggestion to her future so she is ready to go to art college, once she return.

psy:

--- Quote from: "wonderwoman2112" ---Hello to all---I recently posted on the Open Free For All forum. Boy, what a mistake that was!!!!  After searching the site, I found this forum that is moderated and I would like to re-post here in hopes of getting some genuine help.  If you feel the need to berate me, please do so on the Open Free For all forum.  I am truly looking for some help. Here is my original post:

Hi to all---I am tying to help my daughter find the right path and we are just so stuck. She is 18 and did not finish high school, although the plan is for her to get her GED in the next month. She has certainly had a non-traditional teenage experience---wilderness (which she loved, by the way), TBS (which she hated and didn't finish), living on her own at age 17 and working to support herself. She moved back home with us 6 months ago, but she has not been able to move forward in any positive direction. She is very "artsy" and has always wanted to go to art school. She had begun a portfolio 2 yrs ago, and although small, it is good. She really does want to go to college, but the whole "h.s dropout" thing is a huge regret of hers and I think she is really scared to even try for fear of rejection. I am hoping that some of you have had similar experiences and found community colleges, art schools, or even traditional colleges that embraced your non-traditional path. She will need a fairly nurturing and supportive environment as she needs a lot of positive reinforcement. I would be so thankful for any thoughts any of you might share. THANK YOU!!!
--- End quote ---

Well.  After getting the GED, she could get into some techincal college like ECPI after which she could go onto a better college for her batchelor's.

About her feelings about the program...  that's common.  I would continue to try to encourage her and emphasize that she's not a failure just because she made some mistakes.  Life is about making mistakes and learning from them.

PS: You'll have to forgive the locals.  They can be harsh with parents at first.

psy:

--- Quote from: "FemanonFatal2.0" ---not sure if you noticed but this forum is frequented by anti program people
--- End quote ---

and lots and lots of others


--- Quote ---even the mods of this sub forum would bash you for your decisions.
--- End quote ---

That's not true.

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