Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Hyde Schools

On Being a Hyde Parent

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Ursus:
Found this when I was rummaging around in some old stuff... It's supposedly from 1996, but is more likely from 1999 (based on associated pages).

Note that this is a highly idealized and sanitized description; you might have to read between the lines (maybe not! lol). Some things may have changed slightly in the past ten years. It is also quite possible that participating in the "Hyde-Hoffman Process" will soon become part of proving one's mettle, if it hasn't already, as far as parental commitment is concerned.

Color emphasis as per the original.

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Being A Hyde Parent

"Letting go doesn't mean not caring. It means caring enough to give my child the freedom to fail or to fly."[/list]
Our program demands a lot from students, parents and faculty. Alumni have likened it to a strenuous workout, an Outward Bound course for the soul. It's true that a Hyde education requires hard work and perseverance, but the institutional and personal supports are there to help people do their very best. Character isn't built overnight.

The curriculum hinges on a committed partnership between family and school. We believe that parents are the primary teachers and the family the most influential classroom. Therefore, if a school strives to help students develop strong character, it's important that those values are reinforced at home. To accomplish this, we have created a parallel curriculum for both students and parents.

When we say that parents play an active role in their children's education at Hyde, we don't mean they take responsibility for how well their student performs. In fact, it may mean just the opposite. Hyde parents become active educators by becoming positive role models, mirroring the very qualities of character they hope to see their children develop. The family program includes seminars on campus where parents address attitudes and values affecting the family. Additionally, they form a network with other Hyde parents, meeting in regional groups to discuss areas of mutual concern. Like their children, parents examine fundamental life questions:

Who am I?
Where am I going?
What do I need to do to get there?[/list]
It can be a trying, even frightening, prospect to let go of traditional ideas of parental responsibility. However, since the family program began in 1977, countless numbers of parents have noted that Hyde's family curriculum has given them relief from dead-end patterns of miscommunication and helped them build stronger relationships with their children based on mutual respect and honesty.

Hyde parents are challenged by a rigorous program. Once a family has joined the Hyde community there are four mandatory components of parental involvement. The expectations for a typical year include:

Two Family Weekends (October and April)
One Family Learning Center session per year per parent
Monthly Regional Meetings
Regional Retreats[/list]

Family Weekends



Hyde has a simple membership requirement. Students, teachers, and parents are expected to honestly and openly address three questions:

Who am I?
Where am I going?
How do I get there?[/list]
These three questions form the cornerstone of the admissions interview. Solid admissions candidates are those families who seek to explore these questions with enterprising curiosity. Sometimes parents are surprised to discover that they are expected to participate in the interview, to address their personal issues as earnestly as their children are expected to address them. Family Weekends are the two times of the year when the entire community assembles to address these personal issues. Typically, there are three seminar sessions (two to three hours each) with groups that contain from five to eight families. Sometimes these groups are randomly selected and sometimes they meet in regional groups. We apply what we call the three R's of seminars: raise, wrestle, and resolve. In the first seminar session, the issues within the family are raised. The second session will find family members wrestling with these issues. On the final day, there is an attempt to resolve the issues by establishing an action plan for the future. Issues or themes that families have examined in the past include communication, truth vs. harmony, and private self v. public self. Sometimes family members will examine themselves in light of one of the Five Words or Five Principles.



The weekend includes team- and family-building exercises. There are opportunities for teacher conferences and workshops on a variety of topics including college placement, health, and admissions. The highlight of the Spring Weekend is the parent shows. Each family region performs a five- to ten-minute production viewed by the entire Hyde community. One weekend, a region showed slides of its work on a Habitat for Humanity project; another region showed slides of a day that its members spent on an outing at a high ropes course. The parent shows encourage all participants to "take a risk and have fun." These exercises have a profound effect on students, exemplifying the school's belief that character is better inspired than imparted. It bolsters the resolve of a son or daughter to see Mom and/or Dad struggling with some of the challenges that Hyde students face on a daily basis. The weekend traditionally concludes with a community meeting in the Student Union.

Family Learning Center



Parents attend one three-day learning center on campus during the school year. Groups of 15-25 parents attend at a time, living dormitory-style at the FLC house. Parents interact during various seminars, physical activities and writing projects, and work with their children on personal and family issues. All activities are led by trained faculty members. It's a concentrated opportunity to look at the issues of character that most deeply affect each family.

While the Family Weekend has a focus on the community as a whole, the FLC is intended to focus more specifically on each family as an individual working unit. A family chooses a session from a possible list of more than twenty dates. (Preference is given to long distance families for sessions that immediately precede or follow a Family Weekend.) Typically, seven to twelve families will attend any given three-day session. The FLC offers the family the opportunity to focus its goals and to assess progress in meeting them. There are four goals and objectives that parents write about on the first day:

» To better understand how my family operates.
» To identify specifically what I can do to improve both the quality and effectiveness of our family life.
» To gain a better understanding of myself, my own needs, and my own sense of purpose in life.
» To identify specifically what I can do to improve the quality and effectiveness of my life.[/list]
There are seminars, some with parents and children together and some where they are apart. There is journaling and the Meyers-Briggs is administered, analyzed, and discussed. There is an exercise called the "beach walk" where parents and children take an intimate walk together in an effort to reconnect. The program concludes with the reading of personal papers on the final morning.

Monthly Regional Meetings

Held monthly in locales across the country, these meetings allow parents to network with other Hyde parents and share areas of common concern. The Hyde regional network includes more than twenty different regions. Large metropolitan areas have been divided into smaller regions. (e.g. New York has been divided into four regions: Manhattan, Long Island, Northern Jersey, Connecticut- Westchester.) The Heartland region covers a wide area of the Midwest with a more scattered population; there are smaller regions in Vermont and Atlanta. We have learned that five to six families can constitute an effective region. The group's purpose is to function as a coach and a support group for parents. The regional group is to the parents what the challenge team or class curricula team is to the students. Effective regions often develop lasting bonds of friendship and loyalty. Some have reunions and alumni regional groups are beginning to evolve in many areas.

The regional groups meet once a month for about four hours. Most regions rotate the location of the meetings among the homes of their members. Members facilitate their own meetings and typically include themes and exercises established by the FLC staff on campus. Typical agenda items include a seminar, journaling, or perhaps worksheet exercises provided by the FLC. Time is also set aside for rehearsal of the spring shows. In the winter, each region conducts a weekend retreat that is facilitated by trained Hyde faculty. Regions also assist the school in its admissions and development efforts. Many Regions occasionally conduct admissions "teas" where prospective admissions families are invited to talk with parents and Hyde faculty members about the school.

The Regions also assist parents in their efforts to "bring Hyde home" during school vacations. It is not uncommon for Hyde families to keep the school shield and the Five Principles posted on the refrigerator door in the family kitchen. It is essential that students' vacations represent a continuation, not an interruption, of their Hyde educations. The Region offers a structure to help support this objective.

Regional Retreats

These are held yearly -- usually in the winter months -- to provide parents with a relaxed, intimate environment to further the personal work families have begun in regional groups.


# # #

Anonymous:

--- Quote ---It is not uncommon for Hyde families to keep the school shield and the Five Principles posted on the refrigerator door in the family kitchen.
--- End quote ---

 :rofl:  make sure you get one of those yellow t-shirts to wear when you scream out "go hyde" at public gatherings

Anonymous:
parents are expected to honestly and openly address four questions:

      Who am I?
      Where am I going?
      How do I get there?
      How much money can I give to Hyde

Ursus:

--- Quote from: "Sumnah Society" ---parents are expected to honestly and openly address four questions:

      Who am I?
      Where am I going?
      How do I get there?
      How much money can I give to Hyde
--- End quote ---

That last one would be the all-important one, eh?

Anyone know the original source for those pressing existential questions?

Here is Joe Gauld using the above queries in a 1992 Education Week article titled An Education: Just Do It:

A second national blindness regards the role of adolescence: Teenagers are not children. I've found that how teenagers handle adolescence largely determines how they will conduct their entire lives. We should help teenagers address questions like "Who am I; Where am I going with my life; What do I need to get there?,'' then challenge them with extensive responsibilities while encouraging them to take risks, since they learn most from their mistakes.[/list]

And here, nine years later, in a Letter To The Editor of the same publication:

A focus on character unleashes the deepest human motivation—self-discovery. Adolescence is primarily meant to help students answer the three basic questions of life: Who am I? Where am I going? What do I need to do to get there?[/list]

Anonymous:
A focus on character unleashes the deepest human motivation—self-discovery.

Sounds like Joe's quest back in the good old days of the Human Potential movement.

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