If you could confront your abuser face to face, would you?

[Anonymous]

being a resident "auntie" here

 ::puke::

[TheWho]

A little harsh I would say.  They are boarding schools and programs and for the first time in many of these kids lives they are held accountable for their actions and it seems abusive to them because this is a first for them.  The schools have to make up for and turn around 15 or more years of a lax life in a very short time, so there isn’t much time for laying around and empowering laziness.  The environment is extremely structured and when you come from an extremely “unstructured” home, cleaning their room and common hallways, helping in the kitchen, doing homework, writing in their journal, attending meetings on time, dressing appropriately, brushing their teeth, being respectful to others, writing letters home, getting up early, going to school every day etc. will be considered abusive.
Many would not want to face their abusers because they know they needed the kick in the butt that came to them and they are better people for it.. bitter because they were separated from their family?  Maybe.. but whose fault was that? Why didn’t family life work out for them?  It wasn’t the programs fault.  Much of the anger is do to bad choices that were made early on and local options to correct them were unsuccessful.  Many of the kids had plenty of warning and chances before a program became an option.  Maybe the parents shoulder some of the blame but the vast majority of it lies with the kids refusal to work within the families rules and structure.
When reading here on fornits the readers need to understand that many of these kids never had structure in their lives so their definition of abuse is distorted a bit.  If there really were hundreds of thousands of kids abused by this system no one would need a study to determine there was a problem.  The psychiatric community would be overwhelmed and the cause would be easily determined and they would be obligated to contact the authorities themselves.  This has clearly not happened.  This is a great forum for people to get together but I would not get too hung up on the claims of torture, kidnapping, shackling, rape, isolation and abuse that many claim to occur in the local Gulags.  If any of this actually happened, people magazine would pay them a fortune for their story and I am sure there are a few people who could use a few hundred grand here on fornits.

[try another castle]

You would all be too scared to meet with anyone who "abused" you.

I sure as all fucking hell can't argue with that. I can't speak for anyone else, but I certainly have no desire to meet anyone who worked there. (aside from the staff who were decent.) Especially not if it's a confrontation. Not a big fan of it, and try to refrain from inviting it into my life, thank you. I run into it enough.

Fuck, man, I don't even know if I would want to be exchanging emails. It's weird enough with people from my peer group. Normally consists of a "hi, saw you on classmates, how are you doing? Here's what's up with me." The end. And that's how I prefer it.


However, I still maintain that it would certainly be interesting to have those questions about Mel Wasserman answered, although I have a feeling it would certainly be an uncomfortable conversation, especially were I to have it with Stacy.

But, if I couldn't get out of it, and the choices are confrontation or interview.. well, the answer is obvious. And really, she's the only staff I'd like to get answers from, anyway, since she is the daughter of the guy who started everything.

[Anonymous]

Post above TAC gets 5/10 for effort.

[FemanonFatal2.0]

The environment is extremely structured and when you come from an extremely “unstructured” home, cleaning their room and common hallways, helping in the kitchen, doing homework, writing in their journal, attending meetings on time, dressing appropriately, brushing their teeth, being respectful to others, writing letters home, getting up early, going to school every day etc. will be considered abusive.

I don't understand why you would assume that we would view these things to be abusive, I can tell you are trying to make a point that we somehow (and many years later) view the "structure" of the program the problem but the reality is you are using a gross exaggeration to attempt to discredit our ability to identify abuse. You are wrong, we know quite well that it is illegal and immoral to physically assault children in the name of "discipline", especially when they are not a danger to themselves or others. We have the right to speak out a it doesn't have anything to do with teenage rebellion, we do this so that the programs will shape up and not let these things happen again. You may be involved with a school that doesn't torture children, but the absence of abuse in one program doesn't discount the presence of abuse in others, particularly those that we choose to speak out about. The fact that you are hell bent on discrediting us speaks volumes of your character. The fact that you intend to be blind to the past mistakes of the industry you support today is evidence that program supporters are well willing to live comfortably in denial, and that loyalty to your cult is more important than morality.

When reading here on fornits the readers need to understand that many of these kids never had structure in their lives so their definition of abuse is distorted a bit.  If there really were hundreds of thousands of kids abused by this system no one would need a study to determine there was a problem.

I don't think my view of my experience is distorted at all, in fact its quite vivid. I know that I was abused and anyone else who has taken the time to read my testimony or talk to me about my experience agrees that what happened to me and the other students in High Impact (and CBS) was abuse, and more appropriately named torture. These are not exaggerations, this is what I lived through, and as much as I hate to give you the satisfaction, it really pisses me off that you people are so FUCKING MALICIOUS that you get your kicks just calling us all liars. You know damn right we have reason to be speaking out and the fact that you refuse to even consider our personal experience before you discredit us all is only proof that you are a brainless cult member.

[Froderik]

People who abuse others will often attempt to occlude their own minds from the reality of what they are doing to them, or what they have done to them in the past (I don't know if it's malice so much as denial.)

[AuntieEm2]

They are boarding schools and programs and for the first time in many of these kids lives they are held accountable for their actions and it seems abusive to them because this is a first for them. The schools have to make up for and turn around 15 or more years of a lax life in a very short time, so there isn’t much time for laying around and empowering laziness. The environment is extremely structured and when you come from an extremely “unstructured” home, cleaning their room and common hallways, helping in the kitchen, doing homework, writing in their journal, attending meetings on time, dressing appropriately, brushing their teeth, being respectful to others, writing letters home, getting up early, going to school every day etc. will be considered abusive.

We know this guest is a pro-program troll, and now we can see clear evidence of how anti-family programs truly are. Just read the disrespect and disdain in the post above. Programs regard parents and families as incompetent fools, good only as ATMs for the profit-machine of the program. This quote should be sent to every parent considering sending their kid to a program--let them see who they're really dealing with.

Auntie Em

[Anonymous]

resposibility is not abuse to anyone! but the way programs go about and justify 'teaching' responsibility is abuse: as in sleep deprivation, motivating, being yelled and spit at, food and medical deprivation, loss of ALL privacy, even the privacy to think your own thoughts.... the list of abuses goes on and is damaging to a child... you may see short term 'success' but the long tetm damage is done and not worth the short term 'benefit... the long term damage is cptsd, loss of close relationships and trust and even more severe physical and mental problems... thats if they are not killed in one of these torture mills or commit suicide later on.

[TheWho]

Programs regard parents and families as incompetent fools

Wow, where did you ever hear that?

[Anonymous]

Straight was a loving place of hope and healing where people could work on their drug and alcohol problems with some dignity and pride. Your  supportive family network is willing to work on themselves to help  reconnect with you in spite of the relationships that you once ruined  with them. A team of professional staff members to help and assist you  and your loved ones through the long and painful recovery process. Are  you diseased individuals? Yes. Are you the lowest form of life on  Earth? I`m afraid so. Do you need a time out from society because of  all the bridges you have burned because of your addictions? Without a  druggie doubt. Upon graduation you may even wish to serve on the  honorable staff and help other addicts with their problems. If you  prove you are a worthy example to others you might be accepted to join  this ring of Honor called "Staff." Is Straight confrontational? Yes  but only in a tough love way and if you complete the program you will  come to understand that the sweet is never as sweet without the sour.  I wish you well as you take this brave and unpredictable journey of recovery and discovery.

[AuntieEm2]

Programs regard parents and families as incompetent fools

Wow, where did you ever hear that?

Guest's own words. And I've seen the programs in action, seen how anti-family they have been with our family.

As a program rep, Guest gives a description of home life that accuses parents--apparently all parents of troubled teens--of enabling "lax life," "laying around and empowering laziness," providing an "extremely 'unstructured' home," and unable to even get their kids to clean their room or brush their teeth.

Programs condescend to parents--lick their boots just long enough to get the child enrolled-and then want little to do with them except for parents' bank accounts. That's why they keep parents and family members separated from their children for months or years. That's why communication with parents and between parents and children is kept to a bare minimum.

Totally anti-family in their actions, regardless of thier words.  Truly pro-family services are community-based and focus on helping the child be successful AT HOME, not a thousand miles away from home.  

You're fooling yourself if you think programs really care about kids--they care about $7,000 a month per child. Owned by mega-corporations, companies like CRC Health BOAST in their corporate earnings statements that residential programs for youth earn them net income per youth per day of $233.80.
Auntie Em

[Anonymous]

Time and again we hear and read these angry complaints. We`ve heard  it all before. Straight never let me go to the bathroom by myself on  1st phase. Those oldcomers robbed us of all our dignity. Cradle  Snatchers!!!!!!!!!!! Perverts!!!!!!!!!!! Orwellian  Lunatics!!!!!!!! The Straight`s recruiting brutal young teenagers  into the Straight cult by proposing debilitation and will-sapping  techniques of conditioning. What the Hell were they thinking? Other  furious comments and questions about Straight refusing to allow  newcomers to use the restroom by themselves. The answer is simple.  The reason Straight supervised all newcomers bathroom visits was  because Straight didn`t want you to go back to drugs and alcohol.  Straight loved you to much to love you to death. In other words  Straight refused to allow you to kill yourselves with booze and other  mind altering chemicals. The graphic image of the teenage druggie  lying dead on the ice cold streets with a needle in the arm is still  just as relevant today as it ever was before. Besides that specific  image is one of the best pieces of morbid art ever created.  Countless teens were signed into Straight by terrified parents to  avoid and prevent this very frightening doomsday scenario from  happening. You can`t blame them for that. Don`t look back in  anger. Be not bitter about your Straight Incorporated experiences.  Just do this. I challenge you to do the following. The next time  you see a former oldcomer of yours or if you happen to see former  staff member from the Straight you attended you just walk right up to  that person and you thank that person for saving your life. It  doesn`t matter if that oldcomer or staff member person is knee  walking drunk as a skunk or if the person smoking the biggest  tokemaster ever invented. You just just thank that person. If you can do that you have truly taken the high road.

[Anonymous]

In addition, the GAO’s investigation revealed that many teen residential treatment programs have been using deceptive marketing practices and questionable tactics to lure vulnerable parents desperate to find help for their children.

“For far too long, these abuses, neglect and mistreatment of children – some of the most horrific violations of trust imaginable – have been allowed to go on completely unchecked,” said Miller, the chairman of the House Education and Labor Committee. “Parents deserve every assurance that their children will be safe and protected when attending a program intended to help improve their lives.”

"It is no doubt a painful and difficult decision for parents to send their children to residential treatment facilities and the last thing they should have to worry about is the possibility of unknowingly putting their kids in harms way,” said McCarthy, chairwoman of the Healthy Families and Communities subcommittee. “It is crucial that federal standards are set in place to prevent the abuse, neglect and deceptive marking practices that have devastated so many children and families.”

To address these problems, the Stop Child Abuse in Residential Programs for Teens Act of 2009, would:


Establish, for the first time, minimum federal standards for preventing child abuse and neglect at teen residential programs. The bill would require the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services to inspect all programs around the country every two years and to issue civil penalties against programs that violate the new standards. The bill also calls for states, within three years, to take on the role of setting and enforcing standards for both private and public youth residential programs.
Strengthen protections for children attending these programs. The bill would require programs to provide children with adequate food, water, medical care and rest.
Ensure that programs are transparent and provide parents with information about teen residential programs that enable them to make safe choices for their teenagers. The legislation would create a toll-free national hotline for individuals to report cases of abuse and a website with information about substantiated cases of abuse at residential programs, including programs locations, owners, and history of violations and child fatalities. Programs would also be required to inform parents of their staff members’ qualifications, roles and responsibilities.

The House passed similar legislation last June by a bipartisan vote of 318 to 103, with the support of the American Association of Children’s Residential Centers, American Bar Association, American Academy of Pediatrics, American Psychological Association, the Child Welfare League of America, Children’s Defense Fund, Easter Seals, Mental Health America, the National Child Abuse Coalition and many other organizations.

[Anonymous]

In addition, the GAO’s investigation revealed that many teen residential treatment programs have been using deceptive marketing practices and questionable tactics to lure vulnerable parents desperate to find help for their children.

“For far too long, these abuses, neglect and mistreatment of children – some of the most horrific violations of trust imaginable – have been allowed to go on completely unchecked,” said Miller, the chairman of the House Education and Labor Committee. “Parents deserve every assurance that their children will be safe and protected when attending a program intended to help improve their lives.”

"It is no doubt a painful and difficult decision for parents to send their children to residential treatment facilities and the last thing they should have to worry about is the possibility of unknowingly putting their kids in harms way,” said McCarthy, chairwoman of the Healthy Families and Communities subcommittee. “It is crucial that federal standards are set in place to prevent the abuse, neglect and deceptive marking practices that have devastated so many children and families.”

To address these problems, the Stop Child Abuse in Residential Programs for Teens Act of 2009, would:


Establish, for the first time, minimum federal standards for preventing child abuse and neglect at teen residential programs. The bill would require the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services to inspect all programs around the country every two years and to issue civil penalties against programs that violate the new standards. The bill also calls for states, within three years, to take on the role of setting and enforcing standards for both private and public youth residential programs.
Strengthen protections for children attending these programs. The bill would require programs to provide children with adequate food, water, medical care and rest.
Ensure that programs are transparent and provide parents with information about teen residential programs that enable them to make safe choices for their teenagers. The legislation would create a toll-free national hotline for individuals to report cases of abuse and a website with information about substantiated cases of abuse at residential programs, including programs locations, owners, and history of violations and child fatalities. Programs would also be required to inform parents of their staff members’ qualifications, roles and responsibilities.

The House passed similar legislation last June by a bipartisan vote of 318 to 103, with the support of the American Association of Children’s Residential Centers, American Bar Association, American Academy of Pediatrics, American Psychological Association, the Child Welfare League of America, Children’s Defense Fund, Easter Seals, Mental Health America, the National Child Abuse Coalition and many other organizations.

[TheWho]

Guest's own words. And I've seen the programs in action, seen how anti-family they have been with our family.

We could probably draw examples supporting both sides.  I have seen them in action also.

As a program rep, Guest gives a description of home life that accuses parents--apparently all parents of troubled teens--of enabling "lax life," "laying around and empowering laziness," providing an "extremely 'unstructured' home," and unable to even get their kids to clean their room or brush their teeth.

As posters here on fornits we hear stories of how abusive programs are.  Accuse staff of being torturers.

Programs condescend to parents--lick their boots just long enough to get the child enrolled-and then want little to do with them except for parents' bank accounts. That's why they keep parents and family members separated from their children for months or years. That's why communication with parents and between parents and children is kept to a bare minimum.

If you actually did know about how programs work you would know why the kids are separated from family and friends.

Totally anti-family in their actions, regardless of thier words. Truly pro-family services are community-based and focus on helping the child be successful AT HOME, not a thousand miles away from home.

True survivors know how far they have come and appreciate the help that their parents and the programs provided.

You're fooling yourself if you think programs really care about kids--they care about $7,000 a month per child. Owned by mega-corporations, companies like CRC Health BOAST in their corporate earnings statements that residential programs for youth earn them net income per youth per day of $233.80.

Name a few people that work for free?  So if they decided to accept a few kids for free that would make everything okay?

 Guest wrote: Time and again we hear and read these angry complaints. We`ve heard it all before. Straight never let me go to the bathroom by myself on 1st phase.

Easy solution: Dont send any kids to straight.  Lets get the word out!!

In  addition, the GAO’s investigation revealed that many teen residential treatment programs have been using deceptive marketing practices and questionable tactics to lure vulnerable parents desperate to find help for their children.

Many is more three and less than most.  So we can safely say the number is well below 50% or they would have said close to half.  So lets say 25% use these practices, that still leaves 75% of the programs are doing a good job.  Lets expose the bad ones or maybe regulation will weed them out.