worried about getting sent back

[try another castle]

If I were in  your position, I would take the necessary steps to get an attorney and then file a suit to become an emancipated minor. I wish I knew more details about how to do this, I believe Idahoway went this route, but never had to follow through because it scared the crap out of his parents and they backed out of sending him someplace after RMA.

[Anonymous]

I am worried about my parents trying to send me to a wwasps school.  i attended CSA already. does anyone have any advice on how to handle this situation legally?

this is a legit post, btw, and not a troll.  This kid needs help.  Any suggestions would be appreciated. I've suggested retaining an attorney to have uncensored contact if he gets sent back, but other suggestions are welcome.

how do you know its not a troll?

[Anonymous]

One thing I've not noticed mentioned that every kid ought to know: the air lines can not allow an unwilling or disruptive passenger on a flight.  If you find yourself at an air port in the hands of a parent or escort - do not be shy about making it clear you do not want to board the plane - you are being forced against your will - You want to see a lawyer - be bold and loud and do not stop. The flight attendants will not be allowed to let you board. The police may be called. This is good. Try and insist on police intervention. Demand to speak with an attorney - It would be great if you can get an advance agreement with local counsel to take your call and intervene.

This is EXCELLENT advice, Your never short of interesting comments BuzzKill.

I would also add to that that when you are making a scene you mention your age and that you do not have a criminal record and that you are be imprisoned against your constitutional rights. You NEED to know your rights and demand that they are not violated. You might as well tell your parents this... maybe we can draw up some documentation that proves that constitutional rights (being falsely imprisoned without due process) over powers any parental rights and that they would be directly responsible for any more violations of your rights. You might not want to out-rightly threaten to sue them but you should indirectly inform them that they can be sued and you would win. Here is where I would recommend getting a lawyer. Most lawyers will can give you legal counsel pro-bono and might be willing to talk to your parents on your behalf.

Yes, you cannot be taken on a plane against your will, but then they will DRIVE you there against your will, or drug you. Contact an attourney asap. Attrounies will represent you pro bono, or can you get a freind to loan you some money..or you can actually get a lawyer with the intent of forcing your parents to pay his fees..can also sue parents

[Anonymous]

I knew a kid thad did this. His name was North and we were both 11 years old. He tired of his parents who never payed attention to him, always busy with their careers, and ending up legally emancipating himself from them. He filed a lawsuit against them and the judge ruled that North should either find new parents or return to his old parents within 2 months.   Then he wandered around the world seeking a new family. Along the way, he encountered parents that were Texan, Alaskan, Hawaiian, Amish, etc. He tried to blend in with each group of parents, but was never satisfied. He finally decided that his own parents were the best (with the help of his guardian angel, who he said uses many different guises). I just figured he had schizophrenia when he told me that.

[Tru_Alaskan]

Hi, everyone. . im the one that started this and i thank everyone for their suggestions. as i was asked im going to tell you more about my situation. i got into drugs and alcohol before i went the first time.  i've stayed absolutely clean since ive been back home. not that ive ever been out of the house without my parents. im not trustworthy enough to not sleep in the same room as my two other siblings. every time i have a disagreement with my parents they talk about how i should have been in CSA longer. ill be seventeen on may 30. so i still have awhile. i've been trying to grovel enough to my parents to try to stall this thing. and im going to continue to try to stall it. but i just want to be prepared in case something does happen. i don't have any family that i trust enough to take me in. ive looked into emancipation and in the state that i am in you have to have six months proof of a job. my parents say that im not trustworthy enough to have a job. i still have the paper work for emancipation, but i dont see that as being a working option.  i have no friends. I have tried to tell my parents about my stay in South Carolina. but everytime i do they say that i could have had it worse. i dont know if anyone has seen the tranquility bay documentary. but i had my parents watch it and they said that all the kids in that movie could have had it worse. i think my parents know that the program was abusive as hell. but to admit that would mean that they would have to admit that they screwed up in sending me there. and they will never admit that. i hope ive answered all of your questions. if you have any more just ask. and ill do my best to answer them

[Anonymous]

I have one.

Why are they still alive?

[Anonymous]

im not trustworthy enough to not sleep in the same room as my two other siblings.

Is this your personal assessment, or that of your parents?

ive looked into emancipation and in the state that i am in you have to have six months proof of a job. my parents say that im not trustworthy enough to have a job. i still have the paper work for emancipation, but i dont see that as being a working option.

Do you need your parents' okay to have a job? Serious question, there might be some variability from state to state. I know when I started working at 16, there was no such paperwork needed.

If this is possible, this in and of itself might stave off the send-away. It matters less what the job is, and what it pays, than that it establishes your credibility and capability of making and keeping commitments (i.e., showing up for work during your expected time, performing your job responsibilities, etc.).

Doesn't really matter if it is washing dishes or busing tables. It can be part-time, e.g., after school and/or weekends. This can only help you. Plus, you get more witnesses in your favor should your parents try to send you away anyway. Can you imagine?

[Anonymous]

Hi, everyone. . im the one that started this and i thank everyone for their suggestions. as i was asked im going to tell you more about my situation. i got into drugs and alcohol before i went the first time.  i've stayed absolutely clean since ive been back home. not that ive ever been out of the house without my parents. im not trustworthy enough to not sleep in the same room as my two other siblings. every time i have a disagreement with my parents they talk about how i should have been in CSA longer. ill be seventeen on may 30. so i still have awhile. i've been trying to grovel enough to my parents to try to stall this thing. and im going to continue to try to stall it. but i just want to be prepared in case something does happen. i don't have any family that i trust enough to take me in. ive looked into emancipation and in the state that i am in you have to have six months proof of a job. my parents say that im not trustworthy enough to have a job. i still have the paper work for emancipation, but i dont see that as being a working option.  i have no friends. I have tried to tell my parents about my stay in South Carolina. but everytime i do they say that i could have had it worse. i dont know if anyone has seen the tranquility bay documentary. but i had my parents watch it and they said that all the kids in that movie could have had it worse. i think my parents know that the program was abusive as hell. but to admit that would mean that they would have to admit that they screwed up in sending me there. and they will never admit that. i hope ive answered all of your questions. if you have any more just ask. and ill do my best to answer them

If you are not a troll, your parents are truly evil. I think the best thing for you to do is "hide in plain sight." Go to the media tell them your situation. Post your name and your plight on every site on the internet. Get a lawyer and start working toward you emancipation. You can stay in an emergency shelter until then. You may normally need to have 6 mo worht of a job , but these things are not set in stone. Emancipation statutes were passed to help kids with abusive parents like yourself.

[Anonymous]

Hi, everyone. . im the one that started this and i thank everyone for their suggestions. as i was asked im going to tell you more about my situation. i got into drugs and alcohol before i went the first time.  i've stayed absolutely clean since ive been back home. not that ive ever been out of the house without my parents. im not trustworthy enough to not sleep in the same room as my two other siblings. every time i have a disagreement with my parents they talk about how i should have been in CSA longer. ill be seventeen on may 30. so i still have awhile. i've been trying to grovel enough to my parents to try to stall this thing. and im going to continue to try to stall it. but i just want to be prepared in case something does happen. i don't have any family that i trust enough to take me in. ive looked into emancipation and in the state that i am in you have to have six months proof of a job. my parents say that im not trustworthy enough to have a job. i still have the paper work for emancipation, but i dont see that as being a working option.  i have no friends. I have tried to tell my parents about my stay in South Carolina. but everytime i do they say that i could have had it worse. i dont know if anyone has seen the tranquility bay documentary. but i had my parents watch it and they said that all the kids in that movie could have had it worse. i think my parents know that the program was abusive as hell. but to admit that would mean that they would have to admit that they screwed up in sending me there. and they will never admit that. i hope ive answered all of your questions. if you have any more just ask. and ill do my best to answer them

If you are not a troll, your parents are truly evil. I think the best thing for you to do is "hide in plain sight." Go to the media tell them your situation. Post your name and your plight on every site on the internet. Get a lawyer and start working toward you emancipation. You can stay in an emergency shelter until then. You may normally need to have 6 mo worht of a job , but these things are not set in stone. Emancipation statutes were passed to help kids with abusive parents like yourself.

oH I FORGOT TO ADD post your parents name, address, grandparents name. The shame quotient is necessary to do this correctly. Post on every board you can think of. Contact that lawyer, make to a decent shelter..get going. Dont put up with those abusive nuts another minute

[FemanonFatal2.0]

how long have you been back? they seem to be unnecessarily strict however it seems they are following the protocall of the parentsrole in keeping your "home contract". Were they strict like this before you went to the program? are they involved with the parent seminars still or in touch with old seminar parent friends?

How did you leave the program? Were you pulled or did you graduate?

You might want to assume that they are using the program as a scare tactic to keep you in line, being as you are not exhibiting any acting out... In fact you might want to confront them on using this tactic, tell them that it is a cruel thing to do considering that they are now aware that there is abuse in the program, as if that's what they want for you, to be abused, oppressed and miserable. Don't they realize what a miserable place the program is? What good would send you back do? You aren't doing drugs and you don't need any kind of help, so them taking that action would simply be an action of intended abuse and isolation. Let them know these are the kinds of things that would make it easy for you to take them to court.

I honestly think you should stand up for yourself, tell them about the program, and that their parenting is suffocating and unhealthy and that you intend to get a job to start saving so you can move away for college. If they say No, let them know that this is important to you and they have no viable reason to not allow it, if trust is the issue, then that is THEIR issue not yours and you are old enough to start assuming responsibility for your life. I know that arguing is not the best thing to be doing when going back to the program is at stake but you MUST stand up for yourself, let them know that what they are doing is morally wrong and that you have rights and are willing to seek legal council in order to protect them, and if you get sent back for getting a job then you will never forgive them. I know that sounds harsh, but if I were in your shoes I would never have forgiven my parents if they sent me back. You need to do your best to bring fourth the information about the abuse in these facilities and after they are informed, if they still intend for you to be sent back then you really should file for emancipation.

I don't know, maybe the truth is not something they are willing to hear from their daughter, If you would like, we can send them emails on your behalf. possibly even help you mediate between them. I wouldn't suggest posting their emails on this site tho they might get flooded with hate mail or worse pro programmers trying to get you sent back so if you want me to help in the regard send me a PM and Ill forward the message to a few others who would be able to write to your parents.

I hope you know I feel for you, I can understand the amount of anxiety that a young girl would feel in such a tensious situation. Just know that I am here for you and If you go missing I will do my best to get the proper authorities involved.

[psy]

If you are not a troll, your parents are truly evil.

I wouldnt necessarily say that.  Mine were very very similar when I was his age.  Thing is that they changed.  Since they changed, I know it's possible his parents can change, but that will take time.

[psy]

oH I FORGOT TO ADD post your parents name, address, grandparents name.

No.  Don't do that.  Even though your parents will definately get nasty phone calls, they will also get calls from the program, and that will be the end of that.  Also, if you do the whole "media stink" thing suggested, your parents will never forgive you and your relationship with them will never heal (you'll also probably disappear to another program...).  That's probably not something you want in the long run.  Think about the long term, plan out your options, and you'll be fine.  When you're out of their house (which may be some time) or back in their better graces, you can being up the program issue with them again and they might see things a bit differently (or not).  In any case, rash action is not the solution.  My advice is to be cool, calculated, and wise in the actions you take.

[psy]

let them know that what they are doing is morally wrong and that you have rights and are willing to seek legal council

No.  Don't say a damn thing until you *have* legal counsel.  Don't raise a fuss or even mention the thing about rights. It won't work. Trust me on this. lol...  I speak from experience here.

[Anonymous]

oH I FORGOT TO ADD post your parents name, address, grandparents name.

No.  Don't do that.  Even though your parents will definately get nasty phone calls, they will also get calls from the program, and that will be the end of that.  Also, if you do the whole "media stink" thing suggested, your parents will never forgive you and your relationship with them will never heal (you'll also probably disappear to another program...).  That's probably not something you want in the long run.  Think about the long term, plan out your options, and you'll be fine.  When you're out of their house (which may be some time) or back in their better graces, you can being up the program issue with them again and they might see things a bit differently (or not).  In any case, rash action is not the solution.  My advice is to be cool, calculated, and wise in the actions you take.

His parents will never fogive HIM? His parents are the ones who should be worried about forgiveness, HIs parents should be in JAIL, not just exposed to shame. Once a parent lcoks you away to be torutred they dont DESERVE you anymore, and you DESERVE to do everything within your power to fight back and protect yourself

That--calling all media, emancipating myself, going to a shelter, making plans to sue for loss of education pain and suffering and suing them for college expenses (you can do that--most kids dont know that) is what I would do if I were in his situation, and believe me, I've thought about it a lot.

I dont care if  his parents have the capacity to change. You own a slave, you kill a homeless guy, you can change but that never undoes that damage you did. Your ability to change is secondary to the fact: your evil.

His only concern is gtting himself free, clear, safe and empowered.

Check if you have a trust fund, kid. You just may. Get your lawyer to look into it. And tell teh rest of your family what is going on. Abuse makes you untrusting but sometimes the rest of your family is better than you fear and can be allies.

[Anonymous]

let them know that what they are doing is morally wrong and that you have rights and are willing to seek legal council

No.  Don't say a damn thing until you *have* legal counsel.  Don't raise a fuss or even mention the thing about rights. It won't work. Trust me on this. lol...  I speak from experience here.

i agree