Found out you're getting sent to a program? You might be asking yourself, what can I expect from this point forward? Don't be nervous, read through this guide and put your fears to rest. I am providing you free of charge all the information you need to survive in any most program open today. Ready to get started?
What is going to happen next? The only reason you are on the internet now and reading this is because you were somehow tipped to your impending imprisonment. Perhaps your parents told you, thinking you were stupid enough to believe them about how fun it will be. You might sense an underlying satisfaction that only revenge can bring emanating from your parents recently. You know something isn't right, something big is about to go down. You are right. Something big is about to go down. You are probably about to be kidnapped from your room one night.
It's decision time. Do you want to run-away and take your chances on the street? You have that option, and depending on where you're being sent it might be the way to go. These are a few important questions that you should be asking yourself. This is just a small sample, you know yourself best and must trust your instincts.
- How old are you?
It's hard to get a job and place of your own until you are 18, and because of lawsuits and minor laws most adults are generally weary of interacting in any way with a minor. This works to your disadvantage the younger you are. If you look older than you are that's great, but most kids look like kids. The younger you are, the harder it's going to be. If you are older, have a car and some money, you might just scrape by without incident.
- Do you trust your parents?
Did they tell you that if you don't like it, they will pick you up? Don't believe this for a second. Once you're in, you're in. There is little to nothing you can do to get out. Escape, and the police will drag you back in handcuffs. There literally is sometimes no escape. Remember that before trusting anyone, including your parents.
- How bad of a program are you going to?
Do some research. Maybe you'd rather be in a program than on the streets. That's nothing to be ashamed of. Trust your instincts, you know yourself best.
- What will happen next?
One night you will be woken up and told to get in a car and you will be driven to a program. Or maybe one day your parents will tell you to get in the car and will drive you there. Or maybe your parents already talked to you about the program and you know you're going, and they are going to drive you. One way or another, if your parents will it, you will be put in a program. Assuming of course, you already didn't run away.
When you first arrive in the programFirst things first. Don't ever, and I mean ever, trust anyone inside of a program. It is truly an every man for himself situation. The staff aren't going to help you. The other kids aren't going to help you. Your parents or family is not going to help you. Get used to it, you're going to be on your own for a while. The quicker you get this through your head the better. The sooner you trust someone, or depend on them for emotional support, the easier and faster they will manipulate you. The program doesn't love you, or care about you. It only wants to use you. Don't ever forget that.
In the beginningDo what you can to learn the situation
Try not to stand out in any extraordinary way
You must start deciding what your game plan is going to be. The sooner the better, because then you can fall into your role. There are several roles that are options that you can choose. These are a sample of them.
- The I-Love-The-Program-kid: You love the program. You wished you could of been sent sooner. You were a troubled kid outside the program, model kid inside the program. You thrived. You are a flower that blossomed with the help of the program. You want to know how to progress, but not too quickly because you don't want to leave.Advantages: Extra freedom and privileges, short stay. Disadvantages: peer hatred, being a sellout
- The Fuck-The-Program-kid: Fuck the program. I ain't doing shit. Do what you want to me, but I won't swallow your bull. I hate my parents and they're assholes for sending me. I'll never do what you tell me. Fuck all of you. Advantages: keeping it real Disadvantages: physical and psychological punishment and consistent attempts at breaking, psychological isolation, less privileges and freedom
- The I'll-Do-What-I-Need-To-Do-Program-kid: You do okay, but not too well. Your peers trust you and staff is satisfied that you don't cause trouble. You don't progress very fast or get perks, but you also stay out of the psychological dungeon of being completely against the process. Sometimes you even wonder if the program might be helping you. Other times you hate it. Advantages: Relative anonymity and less negative attention, relatively moderate privileges Disadvantages: getting lost in the system, long time to finish, compromise personal values to progress during pivotal loyalty tests
- The-Suck-up-kid: You miss your mommy and daddy and need attention and love and naturally seek the only parent like figure around you which are staff. You give them hugs and tell them you love them. Sometimes you call staff mom or dad. Advantages: privileges, trust and relatively more freedoms Disadvantages: complete loss of peer and self respect
So there you go, that should help get your brain juices flowing. What type of program kid do you want to be? Soon you will have to choose, mine as well start preparing mentally. The program is a game, and you are one of many players. There are rules. There are winners and losers. You know yourself best and what type of person you are. If you don't prepare, it won't be an act, you will just fall into a role not of your choosing and one you might not agree with.
How can I convince my parent to take me out?Good luck with that. If your parents even bother to read your correspondence or emails, they will not believe what you tell them. But who knows, maybe they will. You mine as well try. But I have to warn you, many of program kid have tried and very few have succeeded. These are a few ideas that have been tried and might help you get an idea of what works and doesn't work.
- The I have found Jesus plea. You tell your parents you found Jesus in a moment of clarity and want to live a life devoted to Christ if only they would release you so you can spread the gospel.
- The I promise I'll be better plea. You promise you will be the best kid ever and are sorry for whatever you have done. You beg and plead they bring you home and write I promise in all caps 10 times on the bag side of the page in a desperate attempt to convey through written word your seriousness.
- The you have no idea what it's really like plea. You tell them that the program they thought they knew of is nothing like the reality. This isn't therapy it's brainwashing you tell them. Kids are abused. You hear screams at night. You are used to the site of abuse and blood. You are changing.
- The I'm going to kill myself plea. If you don't pull me out I'm going to kill myself. Hey, it's ballsy. It might even work, but you might get pulled from the program and put in a psych hospital, so it's risky.
- The I was abused plea. When I dropped my plate of food they tackled me and pushed my face into the food. Please take me home they are cruel and physically abusive. You'd think that would get their attention right? Wrong.
These are some of the common topics discussed in correspondence to the parents involved in the incarceration. I want to tell you though, sometimes it does work. Sometimes parents finally realize their kid isn't full of shit, and might actually be telling them the truth. Most dismiss it as outlandish lies, manipulation and ignore it. You have time though, so mine as well try. You just might hit the lottery, who knows.
Ok. Now what? So your life has taken a downward turn. You are in a program. What can you do to make it easier until you get out? Please, don't ever forget, you will get out. It might not seem like it, but you will. Eventually the memories will seem distant and you can move on. It's not the end of the world and you should not lose all hope.
First of all. Don't assume anyone is going to help you. Create an emotional facade and reveal nothing that can be used against you. Were you abused as a child? Don't tell them. Have a shameful secret? Most definitely do not tell them. You see where I'm going with this. Don't give them the ammunition to use in your very own emotional assassination. Give them false information. Create a fake story and stick with it. That way you can keep the upper hand, and at least keep the program from seeping into your inner core. Once the program has penetrated your inner core, it will be hard to remove it.
Become a good actor. It's hard to explain, but you'll soon learn what I mean. It's going to be hard to fake it all the way. I don't even know if it's possible.
Thinking about how to give advice really has made me realize there is not safe, one size fits all type of advice that can help someone get through a program. I can tell you to try and put on an act, form a thick emotional barrier and let your real self, your soul, hunker down way down deep where it cannot be penetrated by the cult. But.. it's hard. Time takes it toll. Months upon months is a long time a cult can use to grind you down. We all put on an act to a certain degree in life. We want people to perceive us in a particular way. But to do this all day long, twenty fours hours a day with spotters watching you non stop can be tiring. You might give up. Don't be ashamed of this either. Try your best, but we are all human and these people are pros at breaking people down.
I really can't think of a way to advise someone to avoid ... some kind of emotional damage ... some compromise.. Your parents will pay for the program with cash, you will pay for it with a piece of your soul. That is what the program wants. It wants to peer deep into you, the you that has been untouched and should of remained so forever, and fuck around in there. They want to rattle you, and dismantle your mind so that you no longer feel safe relying on it. That is some heavy shit right there. I have to be honest and tell you, I don't know how to advise you to prepare for this kind of emotional onslaught from such an organized and driven group of individuals.
So am I fucked?Not necessarily. Some programs are worse than others. Some staff are worse than others. You might make it through it fine and never think about it again. You might end up being a complete sell-out and making it your career. You might receive a deep emotional wound that will never completely heal. Nobody knows or can predict the future. Hope for the best, and do what you can to learn more about the place you are going is all I can advise.
Frequently Asked Questions- Are these programs full of crazy and violent drug addicted kids?
No. Don't be worried about that. Most of the kids in programs are just normal teens with normal issues, and over reactive parents. They are just like you, caught up in a situation beyond their control. Of course there will always be a few crazies mixed in, but that makes it all the more fun trying to figure out who they are.
- Is the staff going to rape and murder me?
It is possible, you never know. You got to wonder about anyone who works in a program willingly, I can't really see the appeal of it. But to be honest, most aren't sadistic abusers. Be warned though, some are. You will quickly learn who these sadists are and avoid them at all costs. Learn who the "somewhat normal" staff people are, and go to them if you need to interact with staff at all.
- Can my parents keep me locked up as long as they want?
Yes. Until you are 18. Even 21 in certain circumstances. Sucks, doesn't it? ... and you thought you lived in the land of the brave, home of the free.. Ha!
- Do my parents expect me to be a different kid when I come home?
I guess. I have no idea what these parents expect from programs. They always seemed kind of looney if you ask me.
- Can I get fucked up in the program?
Yes. Kids are prescribed all kinds of medication these days. Learn who takes the good stuff and trade for it. Grind it up and snort it if you are nostalgic for home.
- I'm embarrassed to be naked in front of other kids, what will I do?
Well since the will probably do a strip search on arrival, you're kind of shit out of luck there. Soon you will just get used to people wanting to look at you naked. Shame, it's over rated anyways.
- Is it really a punishable offense to be caught masturbating?
Well don't you have a sick mind for asking such a perverted question. Well since you asked, the answer is yes. Get caught and you will face a stiff punishment.
- What's the worst thing I'm going to see in the program?
You'll see all sorts of interesting things. Kids getting slammed to the ground on a regular basis. But what will probably stay with you is the sounds. The screams of desperation and agony during adrenaline fueled restraints. You know, that sort of thing.
- If I act really crazy, will they transfer me to a psych hospital?
They might. But since they deal with this tactic, it's going to take something really shocking to convince them you are really crazy.
What now?Now you go home. Congratulations, you lived through it. You are going to be tired, but this isn't the end of it. Your parents are going to expect you to be a trained dog. Some programs have a guarantee if you don't live up to their deluded expectations they can send you back for free. Once they send you to a program, trust is forever an issue. Your program parent's home is now an extension of the program, if your parents are believers in it. It is up to you to figure out how much your parents bought into the program. If you are at risk of being sent back, keep up the act the best you can. When you turn 18 you will finally attain freedom.
I'm 18 now, should I still be nervous?No. It takes a court order to lock you up now, and that involves the state so it's not up to your parents alone any more. You can finally breathe easy you are no longer at risk of being sent back to the program. This would be a good time to tell your parents how you feel about the program. Who knows, they might even believe you.
You're probably angry at this point. Confused at how such a ridiculous thing can happen inside a country that claims to be free. Well consider yourself the beneficiary of a hard earned lesson in human nature and hypocrisy. You were just fucked over by your family, your country, your society and your peers in the program. You were fucked, top to bottom in every possible way, and then spit out like rotten meat. In the end, you were just another lucrative source of profit for some industry big wig, another notch in the program idealist's belts, and the modest paycheck to keep "Eagle Bear", the staffer in his apartment warm and cozy and beaming with pride of "helping kids".
The more you learn about how pointless it all was, the more depressing the reality becomes. You will find nobody understands, cares or wants to learn more about it. You are damaged goods. Tainted by evil. So you sign onto the internet in search of what to do and find a forum called fornits and read and discuss and vent, and try to figure out what the hell happened to you.