Mount Bachelor Academy Parent Guide Installment 1

Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Aspen Education Group

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joethebadass:
While I was imprisoned at Mount Bachelor Academy, I was able to obtain copies of a lot of their promotional literature. I have decided to post the largest of those documents, entitled Heart to Heart: A Parent Survival Guide to Mount Bachelor Academy. I wish that I had a scanner with which to upload, but I don't, and will unfortunately have to type all of this by hand, but I think that it is important that their operating MO is exposed so that more parents won't be deceived. If you are a parent or perspective parent of a child at MBA, I encourage you to at the very least hear out what I and others on this forum have to say. Worst comes to worst, you end up listening to a differing opinion. I think that listening to both sides of any argument is important for ultimately discerning truth.

It seems that the deception in this particular document starts right at the beginning, with it's assertion that it was compiled "for parents, by parents." In fact, the whole packet was written by one Mina Steen, a former parent of a student who is still currently on Mount Bachelor Academy's payroll.

It is my opinion that the marketing practices used by Mount Bachelor Academy are endemic to the "troubled teen industry" as a whole, and that they should thus be examined and taken apart piece by piece publicly so that desperate parents in the future won't be as easily manipulated. I will post this entire packet in installments and starting from the beginning. All material was copied word-for-word from the original, except where noted by the [brackets.]
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"Heart to Heart"
A Parent Survival Guide to Mount Bachelor Academy
Compiled by and for parents, and dedicated to the staff at MBA, whose lives are truly devoted to helping our children and our families heal themselves.
June 2002

[table of contents]

Mount Bachelor Academy - A Parent Survival Guide

Designed by "veteran" MBA parents for new parents upon their child's enrollment at MBA, to provide a thorough introduction, and to be an ongoing ready reference throughout your child's time at MBA. (Keep it nearby!)

Welcome! You have just taken the strongest and most loving step you can possibly take for the welfare of your child. WE know hos hard it is because we have also taken that same step. The decision can be lonely, sad, frightening, overwhelming, guilt-ridden, frustrating, and fraught with uncertainty. The MBA journey may be tremendously worthwhile, but it is not easy. This guide is brought to you in an effort to make things a little less difficult for you and your family.

In retrospect, we believe that certain information was very helpful when we started. In some cases, there were things we didn't know until we were further down the road. We want you to have as much information as possible at the beginning of your journey.

Forgive us if we sometimes seem "preachy" or like we're telling you what to do. Many parents contributed suggestions for this handbook, but, in the end, what has been compiled for you by a few parents cannot necessarily reflect the feelings, experiences, or recommendations of all parents. There may well be some opinions that differ from these. Each family takes the journey it's own way.

We offer this to you as a gift of support. It was generated out of gratitude by parents who are extraordinarily grateful that their children have benefited from the incredible experience that exists at Mount Bachelor Academy. With an outpouring of love for you and your MBA student, we wish you the same success.

Take a deep breath, relax, and try to enjoy the roller coaster ride that is MBA!

Tip #1 - "Take Care of Yourself"

Odds are that you have been through a rare form of "parental hell." You are weary. Your marriage and your other children may be suffering. Your health may not be at its best. But now, perhaps for the first time in years, you can go to bed at night knowing that your child is safe, and that someone else is monitoring his day-to-day well being.

This can be your time to recover and heal those aspects of your life and your "self" that have suffered. No one can tell you how to do this, but our experiences make it clear that you can and should do so, in whatever ways best suit you. As you heal yourself, you can simultaneously watch your child heal. If you don't take care of yourself, it will be more difficult for you to be receptive to the growth and changes in your child. Your child's antenna may continue to sense your lack of strength, and he may continue to try to take advantage of it.

Here are some things others have done and have found helpful
Make time for your own needs
Prayer
Reading
Exersize
Yoga
Meditation
Learn about chemical dependence in teens
Take a vacation
Join a support or 12-step program
Read about codependency
Journal
Find a new hobby
Family Counseling
Rekindle the spark with your spouse
Stay in touch with other MBA parents
Make an MBA scrapbook
Join the MBA parent Listbox
Spend time outdoors
Add something positive to your life
Reconnect with your other children
Keep, find and/or develop your SENSE OF HUMOR!

Special Note:
One thing that can prolong your discomfort and undermine your peace of mind is your child's attempts to convince you that he or she does not really belong at MBA. Many MBA students tell their parents that all the other kids are "crazy" and that the staff is abusive. Some of these accounts can be very alarming.

We recommend that from day one, you be firm and clear, with yourself and your child that he will stay for the duration of the program. If you child senses any ambivalence from either parent, he may intensify his efforts at manipulation and increase your anxieties and guilt. When your child is clear that your are not buying into his manipulation, he can focus his energies on the MBA program itself, rather than on trying to persuade you to remove (or, in MBA lingo, "pull") him early. Know that your child's reactions are typical and normal. Be strong! In the end it will help your child.

This is not to say that you should squelch your fears and doubts, or fail to follow up on statements your child makes if you are truly alarmed. Many of us have had similar feelings and have found that addressing them directly with MBA staff answered our concerns and reassured us.

Tip #2 - "Foster a Strong, Trusting Relationship with the MBA Staff"

The decision has been made and your family life has changed. With your child now entrenched in his Discovery Phase at MBA, your shell shock may gradually abate. You bay have dared to clean your child's room, removed the old chicken bones from under the bed, and washed three weeks worth of his socks you found stuffed in the back of his closet. You may also have destroyed three feather pillows with your tears.

The newness is starting to wear off, and you're beginning to wonder what MBA is really all about. You may be curious about your role and may be confounded about such things as all the new terms and acronyms, the timing of Lifesteps, who should be called, and when. You may start to question whether you really made the right decision in sending your child away for so many months, putting him in the hands of complete strangers. A sort of buyer's remorse may set in!

Our advise? Trust. Keep trusting. And trust again. The staff at MBA has had years and years of experience dealing with troubled teens. There is probably nothing they have not seen or heard. They are probably no longer shocked at what is said and done by our kids. Your child may be a unique individual, but many of his actions are the same ones the MBA staff has seen in one form or another over a long period of time.

Early on, you may worry that your child will "freak out" in response to his new life. There is probably not an MBA parent who hasn't laid awake many nights haunted by every possible negative scenario about his child at MBA. Have confidence. The staff is adept at skillfully and quickly helping most kids settle down. They know what to do.

You will soon discover that the staff is kind, compassionate, direct, smart, and frequently take time out of their personal lives to help us as needed. Their instincts are amazing. It is almost magical how they seem to know just what to do at just the right time for each child during every stage of the program.

A number of the staff members have themselves been in programs such as MBA or participated in wilderness programs. They know first-hand what our kids are feeling. Their experiences provide a unique connection with the MBA students.

If there is an episode, whether it is a child who leaves campus without permission, or attempts a gesture of self-harm, they are prepared to deal with it. If a true crisis happens, which is very, very rare (and in the occasional mini-crisis, like a broken bone in a sports accident), they are experienced and know how to effectively deal with the situation and sensitively respond to the child, the parents, and the rest of the student body.

Serious danger loomed for many of our children before they went to MBA. As parents of kids who have been in need of an MBA-type of program, we have become accustomed to having to be ever-vigilant, awake and in control. It is now time to let go a bit, to trust the professionals.

"Letting go" doesn't mean that you shouldn't be proactive in becoming involved with the MBA program, and to regularly and honestly express your feelings and concerns. You may continue to have periodic apprehensions about our child's physical physical well-being or emotional reactions. Often these diminish with time. But if not, or if they become oppressive, let MBA know. This is important for the staff, for your child, and for your own sanity.

Intuitively we know that the highest priority for the MBA staff is our kids. The parents, quite frankly, must come second. That can sometimes be very frustrating, even though we know it's the way it should be. Occasionally, while the mentors and others focus on your child, you may feel out of the loop. Trust that in good time you will receive a full report from the mentor, and that you will be brought up to speed on your child's progress and challenges. You will be advised about how you as parents can best help your child from a distance. You will be given every possible opportunity to express your views. The more quickly you can come to accept and respect MBA's rules and procedures and the values they support, the better you and your child can progress.
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I have only posted the first two "tips" for now, more to come, thirteen in all.

joethebadass:
One of the most striking things about this from right off the bat is the way that it tries to assuage the guilt of parents. Then it immediately starts off with a calculated character assassination of the inmate.

--- Quote ---Your child's antenna may continue to sense your lack of strength, and he may continue to try to take advantage of it.
--- End quote ---

This is a part of programs that many people have a lot of trouble understanding; how could a parent do this to their own child? The answer lies in part in this document. It illustrates the way that programs deliberately create rifts in families for their own personal financial gain. The parents are told that they have been manipulated for years, and are made fearful of their own child.

--- Quote ---Odds are that you have been through a rare form of "parental hell." You are weary. Your marriage and your other children may be suffering. Your health may not be at its best. But now, perhaps for the first time in years, you can go to bed at night knowing that your child is safe, and that someone else is monitoring his day-to-day well being.
--- End quote ---

Again, very typical of their tactics. Turns out, all problems in your adult life stem from your child. That little brat ruined your marriage. Time for revenge. The overwhelming message of the above paragraph is 'Your kid is a problem. Dealing with your problems sucks. Let us take care of the problem.'

--- Quote ---This can be your time to recover and heal those aspects of your life and your "self" that have suffered.
--- End quote ---

Oh, you poor baby! Again, this is, in a fairly obvious way, painting the picture that your kid is a monster and you the victim. If you are the victim of your child, then you might understandably want revenge. So let us punish him.

--- Quote ---One thing that can prolong your discomfort and undermine your peace of mind is your child's attempts to convince you that he or she does not really belong at MBA. Many MBA students tell their parents that all the other kids are "crazy" and that the staff is abusive. Some of these accounts can be very alarming.
--- End quote ---

You don't say?

--- Quote ---We recommend that from day one, you be firm and clear, with yourself and your child that he will stay for the duration of the program. If you child senses any ambivalence from either parent, he may intensify his efforts at manipulation and increase your anxieties and guilt. When your child is clear that your are not buying into his manipulation, he can focus his energies on the MBA program itself, rather than on trying to persuade you to remove (or, in MBA lingo, "pull") him early. Know that your child's reactions are typical and normal. Be strong! In the end it will help your child.
--- End quote ---

Again, this is saying pretty much that your son/daughter is a predator out to prey on the weaknesses of others. Anything said that is anti-program is false and a manipulation. Basically, trust us over your child.

--- Quote ---This is not to say that you should squelch your fears and doubts, or fail to follow up on statements your child makes if you are truly alarmed. Many of us have had similar feelings and have found that addressing them directly with MBA staff answered our concerns and reassured us.
--- End quote ---

This part attempts to make sure that when parents hear anything negative about the program, that they go to their handler (their child's mentor,) and make their feelings known immediately. This gives their handler both a chance to silence the student later, and a chance to re-instill that notion of all teenagers as manipulators, liars, and thieves in the eyes of the parents.

I could go all day, but I was kind of hoping for some freaking DISCUSSION! Nobody ever posts on my shit. Seriously!

dishdutyfugitive:
Here are some things others have done and have found helpful

1. Practice yelling at the top of your lungs.

2. See how much snot you can vacate from your sinuses after yelling. See if you can replicate and surpass the award winning nerf football ghostbuster slime ball witnessed by Liam Scheff at RS in 1988.

3. Prepare an microsoft excel spreadsheet that contains a weekly dirt list template.

4. Regularly Pound pillows to alleviate the anger and buyer's remorse your developing. You've pissed away your retirement savings - it's time to go for broke here.

5. Role play good cop / bad cop with your spouse on a daily basis. Even if it's just for a few minutes. You're going to want to keep your kid on edge. His thinking is strong - we need your help in defeating it for the next 80 years.

6. Invest in Mortensen math hardware. You'll want to help him with his SAT preparation. Buying a whole bunch of fucking block sticks your kid is destined for PHD level Mortensen math at the local community college.

7. Watch plenty of Oprah, Dr. Phil and Judge Judy. Emmulate their narcissitic and psychotic approach to life. You will be the one filling the void of all the power staff members he relied on so dearly for guidance.

8. Program your bounty hunter/escort's phone number into your speed dial. Your son of a bitch kid is in dire need of finishing school. Rehearse your finishing school speech in the mirror once a week.

Anonymous:

--- Quote from: "joethebadass" ---One of the most striking things about this from right off the bat is the way that it tries to assuage the guilt of parents. Then it immediately starts off with a calculated character assassination of the inmate.

--- Quote ---Your child's antenna may continue to sense your lack of strength, and he may continue to try to take advantage of it.
--- End quote ---

This is a part of programs that many people have a lot of trouble understanding; how could a parent do this to their own child? The answer lies in part in this document. It illustrates the way that programs deliberately create rifts in families for their own personal financial gain. The parents are told that they have been manipulated for years, and are made fearful of their own child.

--- Quote ---Odds are that you have been through a rare form of "parental hell." You are weary. Your marriage and your other children may be suffering. Your health may not be at its best. But now, perhaps for the first time in years, you can go to bed at night knowing that your child is safe, and that someone else is monitoring his day-to-day well being.
--- End quote ---

Again, very typical of their tactics. Turns out, all problems in your adult life stem from your child. That little brat ruined your marriage. Time for revenge. The overwhelming message of the above paragraph is 'Your kid is a problem. Dealing with your problems sucks. Let us take care of the problem.'

--- Quote ---This can be your time to recover and heal those aspects of your life and your "self" that have suffered.
--- End quote ---

Oh, you poor baby! Again, this is, in a fairly obvious way, painting the picture that your kid is a monster and you the victim. If you are the victim of your child, then you might understandably want revenge. So let us punish him.

--- Quote ---One thing that can prolong your discomfort and undermine your peace of mind is your child's attempts to convince you that he or she does not really belong at MBA. Many MBA students tell their parents that all the other kids are "crazy" and that the staff is abusive. Some of these accounts can be very alarming.
--- End quote ---

You don't say?

--- Quote ---We recommend that from day one, you be firm and clear, with yourself and your child that he will stay for the duration of the program. If you child senses any ambivalence from either parent, he may intensify his efforts at manipulation and increase your anxieties and guilt. When your child is clear that your are not buying into his manipulation, he can focus his energies on the MBA program itself, rather than on trying to persuade you to remove (or, in MBA lingo, "pull") him early. Know that your child's reactions are typical and normal. Be strong! In the end it will help your child.
--- End quote ---

Again, this is saying pretty much that your son/daughter is a predator out to prey on the weaknesses of others. Anything said that is anti-program is false and a manipulation. Basically, trust us over your child.

--- Quote ---This is not to say that you should squelch your fears and doubts, or fail to follow up on statements your child makes if you are truly alarmed. Many of us have had similar feelings and have found that addressing them directly with MBA staff answered our concerns and reassured us.
--- End quote ---

This part attempts to make sure that when parents hear anything negative about the program, that they go to their handler (their child's mentor,) and make their feelings known immediately. This gives their handler both a chance to silence the student later, and a chance to re-instill that notion of all teenagers as manipulators, liars, and thieves in the eyes of the parents.

I could go all day, but I was kind of hoping for some freaking DISCUSSION! Nobody ever posts on my shit. Seriously!
--- End quote ---

thank you for posting this. Please continue.

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