THE FOLLOWING IS AN ACCOUNT OF A DAYTOPIAN CONVERSION IN CHINA:
I couldn't help saying, 'Thanks,' and even I was moved by my own sincerity, which I hadn't felt in a long time.
My first days at Daytop were cold -- inside and outside. I would not show interest in anyone. I looked down on the hypocritical sympathy and help. My first thought was to get out and take another hit. I used coldness as my spear and silence as my shield; although other community members were warm toward me, but I still played the stubborn, resistant role to the end. But by the third day my attitude toward Daytop started to change, and it happened so fast that I myself was surprised.
There was an interesting morning meeting where I was successively 'rescued' four times. The first three times I sneered back in return, but when I stood up for the fourth time I did not feel so smug because a slight guilt suddenly arose toward my 'old sister'.
'Do you know what it meant for your old sister when you came into the ward smoking? It meant she had to clean the toilet for you for three days. It is a rule here that one must pay for what the others' actions. How did you feel when you saw that she was accompanying you when you were scolded? You have been here for three days. And your old sister has talked earnestly with you for three days. How can there have been no change? No medicine can help you, you're too apathetic. You'll never kick your drug habit if you stay this way!
'You're so distant no matter what we say. Who will help you if you stay like this? It is a waste saving you!'
All these words pounded on me and my heart was like ripples across stagnant water.
I stood at the doorway of the toilet with a cup of tea in my hands. Wearing all plastic, my old sister was cleaning all through it with a broom and hose in her hands. Then she mopped the floor three times. I thought, 'She must really hate me!' I was about to say something when she suddenly turned back. I couldn't help trembling. But she smiled to me, 'Is it clean?' I wanted to say sorry to her but the words clogged in my throat. I could only nod slightly. She did not scold me. She even stood up in the following morning meeting and thanked me for giving her tea and showing my concern. We often chatted together afterwards when we were free. Seeing the smile on her face, I often sigh inwardly that a former addict could be so generous!
'Go and help others if you like!' This sentence is often heard in my community. It's true; in a special family like this we all need other peoples' care. I can enjoy others' warm feelings when I go to help them. When I was undergoing detoxification, one bowl after another of brown sugar egg soup was sent to me. When I went through withdrawal, there were always a lot of caring faces around me. When I did something wrong, there were always well-meaning criticisms to help me wash away the dirt from my soul.
And I learned to be kind to others!
'I have thought for so long that I was a lamb forever lost. However, I have been shocked and surrounded by your love all the time since I came here. Your sincere words and deeds moved me - this hard rock. My soul received baptism and my emotions have been raised to a higher level. My heart is full of hope because of you all and Daytop. I am now fully confident that there is no drug that cannot be kicked and there is no drug cycle that cannot be broken! Thanks! Thank you all! You taught me how to love. You lit the kindling of love inside me.'
I never got so much applause and received so many affirmative gazes. At the morning meeting to see me off, holding the commemorative card with thousands of words, thinking of all the experience in Daytop and reviewing the sendoff meeting the previous night, I couldn't help crying. I said to myself, 'Never forget Daytop!'
http://www.daytop.cn/iso_details.asp?le ... 01&ID=1337 The testimony of this "lost lamb" sounds like a bleating sheep