Careful study of the Monsignor's words in You Can't Do It Alone, will reveal a lot about the DAYTOP mentality; it's something to the effect of (and I had to give the copy I read back to the library therefore I do not have one with me from which to make citations), "allegiance to one another," support(ing) one another," work(ing) together," "obey(ing) the rules," and "supporting the DAYTOP family."
The Monsignor writes in a manner very much like Mr. Ross' speech to his class, from The Third Wave)...
"Now, through hard work and allegiance to one another you will learn faster and accomplish more. But only if you support one another, and only if you work together and obey the rules you can ensure the success of The Wave."
He does not quite write, "We must support one another regardless of what any of us does," but that could easily be implied from what he does write. I see this theme over and over again in the Monsignor's writings.
Honesty's still trying to do the goose-step just right. Poor Honesty.
"DAYTOP, DAYTOP uber alles..."
In cultic groups like DAYTOP it is essential to live in "unity" with the other members, and especially with the leader(s).
In practice, however, the "unity" that is promoted in cultic groups such as DAYTOP is really "uniformity." Members must believe alike, think alike, talk alike, (sound familiar, Honesty?) and often even look alike. Divergences from even minor points of doctrine and practice is usually not allowed. When it is allowed, those who think differently are not permitted to express their differences publicly. If they do, there are consequences to pay. In DAYTOP, aren't these consequences called "Haircuts" or "encounter groups?"
Cultic and other overly authoritarian groups (again, DAYTOP is a typical example of this) do not recognize that there can be unity without uniformity.
As human beings we (or at least, most of us) need to be in relationship to other people. We need others as friends, confidants, lovers, etc. to offer us affirmation, solace, correction, fellowship, etc.
In normal, healthy relationships, however, we also need time and space for ourselves occasionally so we can obtain rest and spend time in reflection. We will on occasion voluntarily give up our personal agenda on occasion to meet an emergency, whether it concerns our family, out community, or our nation. But once the emergency has passed we go back to our normal lives again.
In abusive group like DAYTOP this personal agenda is seldom if ever granted; the member is almost always, if not always, giving up his own right to privacy and the pursuit of his own goals in order to pursue the goals of the group and to submit to the agenda of his authority.
Finally, the process of group building, when it becomes abusive, creates a system that is mutually addictive to both founder(s) and followers. The followers need the founder/leader/Monsignor to make them feel that they are realizing the proffered goal; the founder/leader/Monsignor needs his followers (some call them the leader's "narcissistic supply") to make him feel successful, powerful, and truly enlightened.
Some more thoughts about The Wave, relating more directly to the theme of nurturing vs. coercion:
At one point, speaking about his class's renewed order, which is coming about as a result of the new "game" that they are playing, Mr. Ross states: "It's as if they wanted to be disciplined."
This is a profound statement, in my opinion.
I believe that Mr. Ross is in fact correct, that most teenagers, and most hard-core addicts in treatment, want at least some discipline. They may not always be consciously aware that they want it, and they certainly won't tell their parents or counselors that they want discipline, but without it they often feel insecure, lacking direction.
It is a truism that to be in one's teens and early twenties is a most difficult period of life; young people, such as the young people DAYTOP seems to target, are in a major transition period of life from childhood to adulthood. They are beginning to take on or be given greater responsibility over their own lives, making decisions for themselves that some authority-parents, teachers, etc.-formerly made for them. This can be either a heady experience or an unsettling one, often both at the same time. If some group like DAYTOP comes along and offers guidance, even in the form of discipline,this can be experienced as relief from the pressure of decision-making.
Later on in the film, Mr. Ross states, "It's amazing how much they like you when you make decisions for them."
This is IMO another profound statement, and it is a corollary of the first statement ("It's as if they wanted to be disciplined.") Adolescence and early adulthood is a notoriously difficult period of life. It is a transition from childhood to adulthood, with young people wanting and being able to make more decisions for themselves. Decisions that an authority (teacher, parent, etc.) formerly made for them they are now having to make for themselves. And they are having to think about their futures: what career should they pursue? What do they want to look for in a potential mate? What do they believe about the meaning of life? This can be a bit unsettling, even scary, for a lot of young people. If some group like DAYTOP comes along and offers "assistance" in the form of quick and easy "answers" to these questions, or even to make some or most of those decisions for them, then this can be experienced as a major relief.
I believe that this is how and why DAYTOP generally only succeeds in enticing people to join the the group as staff, when the potential recruits are barely adults, whether chronologically or emotionally speaking.
I pray that the DAYTOPians will read and thoughtfully consider that which I have written.
