Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Daytop Village
DAYTOP Did Me Great Harm in the Long Run
Ursus:
More on David Deitch here:
David Deitch
viewtopic.php?f=31&t=23440[/list]
BTW, Deitch was also heavily involved with Pheonix House (NYC) and Gateway (Chicago), that latter TC being the entity which ran that unit in the Texas prison system that came to our attention this past summer...
I think Gateway was also a starting point for that woman who founded Abraxas, but I wasn't able to find proof of it, just lots of tantalizing coincidences.
psy:
--- Quote from: "SEKTO" ---Or, sometimes instead of the "It's not PLAYTOP, it's DAYTOP" line they'd use "It's called DAYTOP, not DAYCARE, so if you don't like it why don't you LEAVE and see where you end up!!!"
...or some variation like that, therefore erecting the bars in our minds. A lot of us were forced to go into DAYTOP by our parents, and some were probated there. If we leave, split, where are we gonna go, the streets? Deadinsanejaildeadinsanejaildeadinsanejail...and our parents were duped into believing us to be a bunch of fuckups, too, so who's going to believe their kid when the kid comes home at night and says "I hate that place. I'm being abused and degraded there. They're trying to brainwash me." You know?
My Dad would say, "It's tough love, not a recreation center." At the center, Marcia would tell me not to think too much: onedayatatimeonedayatatimeonedayatatime...And I started to actually to be grateful for the ongoing punishment. It was just one long coercion in DAYTOP.
--- End quote ---
You've said so much in so little space about how it's so difficult for one to actually just "up and leave". Where I was, in addition to what you've described, there were no homless shelters in the area and even if we did choose to leave, we could not take our property, identification, or any money we had. The rationale told to us by the staff was that the stuff was our parent's property and money, not ours (whether or not this was actually true). They told us that if they let us leave with money we would just spend it on drugs (regardless of whether or not we were "enrolled" for drug issues or not), and if we left with our property we would just pawn it and spend the money on drugs. Since parents were told never to take us back in to the house, that option was out of the question as well.
They made it clear that the only practical salvation (in addition to the other forms) would only be possible within the program. They told us that if we left we would come back broken. Altough AWOLs were common, in most cases this (rigged) "prediction" turned out to be accurate as students soon discovered the practical difficulties (i.e. no homeless shelters), not even to mention the psychological debilitation / enforced dependency. Seeing these kids come back broken influenced us all, I think. It created a perception that "maybe the staff was right. maybe we are sick in the head and can't make it without program." In many cases they would actually throw kids out on the streets as a "punishment" if they didn't AWOL on their own since the streets were such an effective way to break down resistance (high crime area as well... a friend of mine was raped on the streets).
The key thing here is that they created the illusion of being able to leave (and told us this often) while at the same time making it nearly practically impossible. The end result is a deep-seated feeling of learned helplessness, eroding any shred of self-confidence "students" have left. It's a trick many cults use. Scientology's Sea Org uses similar tactics to keep their members from leaving. Did Daytop do any of that or did they rely exclusively on psychological debilitation?
SEKTO:
Recalling and processing this stuff has really triggered a lot of old emotions in me in the last couple of days; I have lately been experiencing this sensation that I will describe as being similar to a vibrating inside of my head, as if my psyche has been plucked like a guitar string. My vision goes blurry, and I momentarily feel sick to my stomach, as if I've been spinning on the merry-go-round too much.
Boooiiinnnggg...
This is the same sensation that I experience, when I am triggered by thinking about the Army and Iraq.
So, I was doing some work and reading on boundaries the other day, and then I had that AHA! moment, a door opened in my mind, and then I started to unpack things that I had locked away, stored in a mental closet years ago, with respect to the DAYTOP experience.
It happened to me too, man, it happened to me too. And for so long I thought that it was "normal" and "healthy."
I never realized that DAYTOP was a cult, I thought that I had been through "treatment."
Yeah, the Ludovico Treatment is what it was.
That's messed up, huh? And it's taken me the better part of FIFTEEN years to figure this out.
It was very powerful thought reform that we were exposed to; it goes to show you just how how potent the mind control we were under was, that it took so long for me to even start to see it.
My judgmental attitude, self-perceived "authenticity" and lack of tolerance for what I perceived as the "phoniness" in others is/was so systemic in my thinking that that was my mental "baseline" for all of my adult life! You know?
Amazing, amazing.
psy:
--- Quote from: "SEKTO" ---
--- Quote ---Eventually I came to the conclusion that what I do defines me, not the other way around,
--- End quote ---
Can you explain please what you mean by that psy? Expand on this statement?
--- End quote ---
Well. IMO, the idea that there is a "fake"/"bad" identity and a "real"/"good" identity is an artificial one entirely. Think about the first time you even heard that concept.
The "program's" concept:
- you are a fake/bad person who has been in denial. You need to accept who you are (and we'll keep you guessing at that until we approve, giving the illusion that you "found" who you "really" are). Once you "find" this healthy identity, we can tell you what are healthy ("real") actions.
Another concept:
- What you do defines who you are. You can choose what you do and thus define who you are.
Margaret singer writes that cults attack one's identity as fake (create an identity crisis) so they can create a cult "pseudopersonality", convincing you that the fake personality is really who you are. She describes this at length in "Cults in Our Midst" (highly recommended reading).
SEKTO:
Some words of encouragement from The Chairman:
That's life, that's what all the people say.
You're riding high in April,
Shot down in May
But I know I'm gonna change that tune,
When I'm back on top, back on top in June.
I said that's life, and as funny as it may seem
Some people get their kicks,
Stompin' on a dream
But I don't let it, let it get me down,
'Cause this fine ol' world it keeps spinning around
I've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate,
A poet, a pawn and a king.
I've been up and down and over and out
And I know one thing:
Each time I find myself, flat on my face,
I pick myself up and get back in the race.
That's life
I tell ya, I can't deny it,
I thought of quitting baby,
But my heart just ain't gonna buy it.
And if I didn't think it was worth one single try,
I'd jump right on a big bird and then I'd fly
I've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate,
A poet, a pawn and a king.
I've been up and down and over and out
And I know one thing:
Each time I find myself laying flat on my face,
I just pick myself up and get back in the race
That's life
That's life and I can't deny it
Many times I thought of cutting out
But my heart won't buy it
But if there's nothing shakin' come this here july
I'm gonna roll myself up in a big ball and die
My, My
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