Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Daytop Village
DAYTOP Did Me Great Harm in the Long Run
Inculcated:
Them that's got shall get
Them that's not shall lose
So the Bible said and it still is news
Papa may have…Mama may have…
But God bless the child that's got (HER) own
-Billie Holiday
:nods:
Oh, and that reference to Holiday doesn’t mean I’m slamming chiva.
It just means I’m Inculcated not Introjected.
Sure Valium n’ I go way back in the day. He’s my valiant comfort, even if his hands are a little cold.
He never minds when I forget he's there and he's always there when I get around to wanting him around me.
SEKTO:
What you wrote about Prince Valium reminds me of that old Ethel Waters blues tune called "Handy Man."
Anonymous:
esther narcotica
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68h4AnUq ... re=related
TOXICA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YCT7kUuO ... re=related
Valle de Valium
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOP3qV80 ... re=related
Inculcated:
--- Quote from: "SEKTO" ---When I wrote:
--- Quote ---Personally, I never heard of Straight until '93 when I met a guy in DAYTOP named CM who had come out of there when they closed, and told us all kinds of horrible stories, really bad stuff. He was telling us how DAYTOP was a cakewalk compared to what he had come out of.
--- End quote ---
...it was my mere intent to report my recollection of what the guy had said. I remember a guy CM who came to DAYTOP out of Straight and after a while, when he was telling us about where he'd been and what had happened to him there, basically said with respect to DAYTOP, " This place is easy compared to Straight."
Now please understand, this is not me saying that DAYTOP "wasn't that bad;" because DAYTOP was very bad; that which I quoted above had nothing to do with my own personal opinion or commentary, and I am hardly reversing my position as to the insidious nature of the place nor on the effect it had on me.
Like I've written before, I get the idea that the DAYTOP Richardson I remember (''92-'94) was kind of like "DAYTOP lite" relative to the DAYTOP Richardson from the '98-90 era, when they first started out in TX. Probably the staff had toned things down somewhat by then, but it was still intense enough to have seriously affected my mentality and the minds of my friends as well. What to say of what the conditions must have been like upstate! They would have chewed me up and spit me out there.
Immersion in the DAYTOP program was hardly a cakewalk for me or for the people I know. DAYTOP was horribly abusive in our experience, and was run by a bunch of halfassed, thuggish pseudo-counselors who hardly knew what they were doing, and had no business working with a bunch of kids and molding our minds.
--- End quote ---
SEKTO, I moved this over here to continue:
:rose:
Inculcated:
.You’re damn right Daytop was intrinsically and insidiously harmful. There’s the rub. No pun intended.
I was not f*ing around when I wrote that Daytop was but one of my abused in treatment experiences. Daytop messed me up particularly badly because their punitive love was being inculcated within a thirteen year old girl. They had no business “treating me”,nor anyone else with such tactics .Not like that.
I found my voice in encounter groups it’s true, but those words I parroted were symptoms of what they were doing to all of us.
As for the tendency of some to compare programs it’s pointlessly divisive. I also suspect it’s more of their programming that needs purging.
Here’s the narrative comparison that I base my point on.Later in my teens, while at a Psych unit (non- affiliated with Daytop) I got in to a petty debate with a counselor. We had been discussing REN and Stimpy. He did not believe me when I informed him that “Yes. Discombobulated is a real word.” Eventually he returned to the day room and conceded that “yes, it is a real word”. He then stopped with the fun banter and began baiting me. I knew something was up and understood the situation I was in enough to try to avoid being drawn in. Minutes later as I had to walk past him to head to my room he swept my leg, dropped me to the floor, pinned my forearms with his knees and proceeded to allow a line of what he later laughed off as “frog spit” to emerge then slurp…you get the idea. When he got the hell off of me, I was supposed to be grateful he hadn’t actually spit on me. He tried to laugh it off and told me he had done this because I was “uptight and looked like I could use a good laugh.”
At this same place I was at one point restrained to a “papoose board”. Later,following another staffer's surprise that my being forced to wear a blindfold for a couple of hours (until I was crumpled on the floor "screaming/crying please get it off of me")…didn’t go well. I was given valium to control my outburst and sent to bed in the middle of the day. Never mind that I had fully regressed and had a breakdown from the “Learn to trust and ask for help” exercise that (untrained glorified orderly) of a counselor had administered. He did this because he’d read in my chart from a previous inpatient stay at a crisis centre that I had refused the trust portion of the ropes course. I had done the web/bell thingy and all of the other stuff very well. None of that mattered, I was going to learn to trust one way or another, they were determined.Even though I won't down play how messed up those moment were, I was at least able to recognize the lunacy.
These things I was able to recognize as abusive and feel outrage. I did not own these cruelties as if I deserved them. I was lucky for not having to absorb those particular harms within me.
Daytop calling me TOXIC and silencing me, that stayed with me. The reverberations of that and all they exacerbated with their punitive love play out to this day.
Daytop did me great harm in the long run.
Here is my truncated version of their philosophy “There is no refuge.” End of philosophy.
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