DAYTOP Did Me Great Harm in the Long Run

[SEKTO]

By the time I got there (in March of '92) DAYTOP was still in Richardson and we had Morning Meeting in that large room in the back of the building, by the pool.  There was this big swimming pool out there in the back yard, but we never used it.  The racketball courts we only used once in a while, for smaller groups during the daytime, but not very often.  By late '93/early '94 they had moved the entire operation out to the Dresser building, but I was on second stage by that time.  All of our Second Stage meetings were held there.  Also, if memory serves, I graduated in late '93, just a few months short of my 20th birthday.  The ceremony was in the Dresser building.  

Later on I (though am not certain of the details) heard through the DAYTOPian grapevine that they got run out of TX a few years after we graduated over some mismanagement and finacial imporoprieties taking place in Athens, stuff about alleged embezzlement that was taking place there.

[Inculcated]

The “family” was small when the Richardson location first opened. The area by the pool was being used for what passed for school (or atleast the time) while I was there. It was at that location where I strove to buy in to what they were hard selling. I was for a time, a model member. My fall from grace happened in such a way that if Athens was open, it was too close to for their comfort (as in not far enough away for them to send me).  I’m supposing you arrived while I was upstate or shortly thereafter.
    I never went to the dresser building. Strangely, I don’t remember anyone other than Jeremiah N. really graduating.
 
    Do any of those you know who were also sent up for residential in New York recall that we were given packs of cigarettes along with sundry items etc.?
I don’t know if that was even legal or even why they chose to accommodate teen smoking.
Why did they allow adults from Swan Lake to collect me from the airport? I was sedated for the trip by a dose of Medea’s “Sit in the chair and be good now”. They hand checked my belongings on the way. When I was in intake and watching my belongings picked over again, I realized the transit search had been just daytopians looking for some of “what she’s having”. Then another birthday and then another facility. I was pretty vocal in my objections to the first of the strip searches. By the third, I knew it was a waste of breath. Ultimately, it was my becoming a persistent suicide risk that sent me free…well back to Texas anyway.

I dare to say that I wished everything suppressed in me at any point would just stay down.Though,I know that’s not possible, nor even healthy.

[SEKTO]

If the back room was used for "school" then where'd you guys have Morning Meeting back then?

We used to smoke indoors, in the coordinators' office, all the time.  That office was the designated indoor smoking area.  Mike Gorman and Marcy would smoke all over the building though.  Mike'd carry an ashtray around in his hand.  Then, after a while, the State of TX got wise to what we were doing and made everybody smoke outside.  Then we had to go out by the pool.

I used to bum smokes off of Ruben and some of the other staff, though of course I was eighteen at the time.  Some of the staff even used to send me on cigarette runs; they'd give me money and I'd go to the gas station down the street to buy packs for them while they were on duty.  I'd get to go for a walk and would get some free smokes for my trouble.  I was a model, true-believing DAYTOPian at the time too, and they knew I would not split.  

Personally, I know nothing of any kids being given cigarettes when they were sent to NY;  I never heard anything like that.  The only kids I recall that went to NY were John Hopkins and a girl named Renee Haynes.  I am not sure where Jeremiah Neal went through residential, but I thought that it was Athens?

Who or what is Medea?  Are you saying that you were literally sedated?  I do not understand.

My only input about what you have supressed is this: if you do not deal with the trauma, then eventually the trauma will deal with you.  You are in legitimate therapy now, is that right?  It sounds like you are on your way towards healing and resolution.  

So I do not blame you for resenting and being angry over your experience.  What DAYTOP did to us is shameful.  It's taken me fifteen years to realize that DAYTOP is an abusive pseudotherapy group.  In my opinion DAYTOP is a full-blown cult; I call it a "sobriety cult."

DAYTOP was certainly detrimental to my well-being, and did me great harm in the long run.

PM me whenever you care too.  I know a few ex-DAYTOPians from back in the day and could put you in touch with some people whom you may remember.  Do not hesitate to let me know if I can help you in any way.

[Inculcated]

If the back room was used for "school" then where'd you guys have Morning Meeting back then?

Morning meeting was upstairs in the dining room at first. Somehow we migrated down to the courts, later on.

We used to smoke indoors, in the coordinators' office, all the time.  That office was the designated indoor smoking area.  Mike Gorman and Marcy would smoke all over the building though.  Mike'd carry an ashtray around in his hand.  Then, after a while, the State of TX got wise to what we were doing and made everybody smoke outside.  Then we had to go out by the pool.

Yes, smoking was allowed in the Daycare (even for those not old enough to legally buy them). It was only in residential in NY that they were provided to us. I even remember that we could choose from 3 or 4 options.

I used to bum smokes off of Ruben and some of the other staff, though of course I was eighteen at the time.  Some of the staff even used to send me on cigarette runs; they'd give me money and I'd go to the gas station down the street to buy packs for them while they were on duty.  I'd get to go for a walk and would get some free smokes for my trouble.  I was a model, true-believing DAYTOPian at the time too, and they knew I would not split.  

I'm surprised anyone was allowed to go the store. That was revoked from us when one of the boys tried to pass some pretty good but not quite good enough counterfeit 20's around the area.

Personally, I know nothing of any kids being given cigarettes when they were sent to NY;  I never heard anything like that.  The only kids I recall that went to NY were John Hopkins and a girl named Renee Haynes.  I am not sure where Jeremiah Neal went through residential, but I thought that it was Athens?

I think if Jeremiah did any residential time it would have been in Athens, and then only as part of the transformation to his counselor incarnation. He was their heir apparrent from day one.

Who or what is Medea?  Are you saying that you were literally sedated?  I do not understand.

Medea  (mother.)Yes and no sense trying to understand .

My only input about what you have supressed is this: if you do not deal with the trauma, then eventually the trauma will deal with you.  You are in legitimate therapy now, is that right?  It sounds like you are on your way towards healing and resolution.  

…legitimate remains to be seen. (See Inculcated prev. post re: trust issues)

So I do not blame you for resenting and being angry over your experience.  What DAYTOP did to us is shameful.  It's taken me fifteen years to realize that DAYTOP is an abusive pseudotherapy group.  In my opinion DAYTOP is a full-blown cult; I call it a "sobriety cult."

Gaudenzia, ugh.

DAYTOP was certainly detrimental to my well-being, and did me great harm in the long run.

When that insight woke in you, when you were able to form the words of it, and then convey them here / to others…each of these has been a step of you returning from that long run and gaining ground on the destination of your choosing.

PM me whenever you care too.  I know a few ex-DAYTOPians from back in the day and could put you in touch with some people whom you may remember.  Do not hesitate to let me know if I can help you in any way.

THX.

[SEKTO]

This forum has been of great help to me in sorting out my thoughts and feelings, and ultimately towards my healing.  It's a form of reflective journaling, but better, since I have received a lot of validation and support.  Maybe fornits can be a part of your healing process too.

[Inculcated]

 Maybe fornits can be a part of your healing process too.

We'll see. LAUGHS. My last post (just moments ago) was to some idiot who considered the statuatory rape of a girl in TC. to be "the least of problems".

[SEKTO]

My advice to you, friend (not that you asked for it) is to try and ignore the trolls and other jerks who inflitrate these forums and focus instead on getting better, as trite as that may sound.  Don't let the idiots get you down.

[Inculcated]

Was there a girl named Rhiannon there when you were at Daytop, Richardson ?

[SEKTO]

I do not recall anybody by that name.

[Inculcated]

SETKO: Check  PM.
Sleepy now. 'night.

[SEKTO]

PM recieved and replied to.  Thanks for writing to me, and I hope that we can be friends.  

Do you still keep in touch with other DAYTOPians from back then?  I know of a few, and we are still friends.

In fact, I know one fellow from the old days that has no complaints at all about it, thinks back fondly of his time in DAYTOP and is grateful for them.

Let's try and keep this thread going.  My friend "Billy" wrote that one time, but neither he nor the others I know are interested in getting involved here.

[Anonymous]

i think you just have your interpitation on what you encounterd in daytop.that is your opinion and your intitled to it,but i also went through daytop and chouldent disagree anymore.i feel daytop was the best thing that ever happend to me.i was also a young teen when there all there groups are benificial and there to help you idenifiey your issues and to help you understand your fellings and how to deal with them along with getting you ready for the realworld that we as addicts never chould deal with on our own hence needing daytop. :cheers:

[Inculcated]

Is that y00-who?   Might it taint your gratification to know that my contempt for you is mixed with pity?

[Inculcated]

:rose:

Do you still keep in touch with other DAYTOPians from back then?  I know of a few, and we are still friends..

No. I put some distance between myself and Texas at 17, and for the most part have kept it that way.

In fact, I know one fellow from the old days that has no complaints at all about it, thinks back fondly of his time in DAYTOP and is grateful for them..

I can imagine there being some persons whose time there was brief enough to mitigate the damage. There were also those precious few members of the “family” who seemed to have a knack for neither inciting, nor arousing the glare of the collective. Hmm, I sigh of envy/regret?

I left something of myself behind in an extended group back there that I’ll never get back. I make it sound as if it slipped away. It was wrenched from me.

[SEKTO]

i think you just have your interpitation on what you encounterd in daytop.that is your opinion and your intitled to it,but i also went through daytop and chouldent disagree anymore.i feel daytop was the best thing that ever happend to me.i was also a young teen when there all there groups are benificial and there to help you idenifiey your issues and to help you understand your fellings and how to deal with them along with getting you ready for the realworld that we as addicts never chould deal with on our own hence needing daytop. :cheers:

Wow, I guess that the educational part of DAYTOP's "getting you ready for the real world" didn't include teaching you proper spelling or punctuation, did it?  

Ever hear of spell check?

Your writing is so bad that I feel like I need to take a shower after reading this stuff.