Author Topic: Statement Contest: About a.p.all  (Read 8805 times)

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Offline hurrikayne

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Re: Statement Contest: About a.p.all
« Reply #15 on: November 28, 2008, 10:59:08 PM »
Found it - Who We Are: We are survivors, we are daughters, sons, mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, we are cousins, neices, nephews, we are grandchildren and we are grandparents. We are fellow humans who were abused and who will not stand by silently while the abusers continue to profit from helpless children.

Input?
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
"Motivation is everything. You can do the work of two people, but you can\'t be two people. Instead, you have to inspire the next guy down the line and get him to inspire his people. " - Lee Iacocca

Offline Ursus

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Re: Statement Contest: About a.p.all
« Reply #16 on: November 28, 2008, 11:04:46 PM »
That last sentence strikes me as a bit strident, IMO... (since you asked)
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Offline Ursus

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Re: Statement Contest: About a.p.all
« Reply #17 on: November 28, 2008, 11:10:54 PM »
How about... a loose collective of individuals and organizations like-minded enough to focus on getting the truth out about this industry as an educational service for the community...

That can be chopped and mixed by someone else. I think the phrase "getting the truth out" is an important one. And I think performing an "educational service" is also important and fairly neutral (and noble).
« Last Edit: November 28, 2008, 11:12:14 PM by Ursus »
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Offline hurrikayne

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Re: Statement Contest: About a.p.all
« Reply #18 on: November 28, 2008, 11:11:31 PM »
:)  It's nicer than it was originally.  I'm just teeeeny bit opinionated.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
"Motivation is everything. You can do the work of two people, but you can\'t be two people. Instead, you have to inspire the next guy down the line and get him to inspire his people. " - Lee Iacocca

Offline Ursus

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Re: Statement Contest: About a.p.all
« Reply #19 on: November 28, 2008, 11:28:25 PM »
Quote from: "hurrikayne"
:)  It's nicer than it was originally.  I'm just teeeeny bit opinionated.

Yeah, I know, and I'm a grumpy and opinionated old bear. Personally, I get rather put off by excessively florid language when it comes to the overcoat or backbone of a website. Mind you, I have no problems whatsoever with florid language and make full use of it myself from time to time. It's just that I think it belongs in individual content, e.g., posts, blog entries, etc.

The backbone should be dispassionate and universal, to convey the commitment to truth at all costs, and to be the least common denominator where all sorts can have their place. If language is too loaded in the backbone, I think you run the risk of getting labeled or seen as having emotional agendas that are more important than the truth. And that's where you are going to lose people who tag you as just having an axe to grind.

The truth, and nothing but the truth, on the other hand, is far less assailable. You have to trust that other people will see the truth for what it is when it is presented to them, without informing them how they are supposed to interpret it.

Just my take on it all. I, grumpy old bear.  ::evil::
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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Offline Rusty Goat

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Re: Statement Contest: About a.p.all
« Reply #20 on: November 28, 2008, 11:39:50 PM »
here's my doodad for the day... If'n you can use any of it, go right ahead... personally, I think the "about us" should be short and firm but sweet... we can have a separate page for "expert opinions" or something... oh, and a "youtube" page would be completely awesome. That venue has already demonstrated itself to be a great program bashing/hurting tactic.  RG

here goes:

Welcome to the AP Alliance website.


The AP Alliance consists of volunteers, parents, members of several national, international, professional advocacy groups and organizations. This group includes a large number of survivors of behavior modification facilities, boarding schools, and other “teen help” programs. They have combined efforts to share their expertise, experience and vast information resources in an easy to find location on the internet. The AP Alliance strives to offer visitors to this site a birds-eye view of the troubled teen industry including specific details, information and overwhelming evidence of a proven abusive and deadly track record in programs throughout the United States and abroad.

Throughout this site you will find out why this industry should be shut down and the people, agencies and businesses that contribute to, operate, and profit from it should be held fully accountable. This includes politicians, law enforcement, educational consultants, and doctors. The AP Alliance knows no boundaries with respect to states or countries.

Please take some time to research our site. Thank you for visiting.

The AP Alliance
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Ursus

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Re: Statement Contest: About a.p.all
« Reply #21 on: November 29, 2008, 01:26:22 AM »
Picture me as thus (I'm playing the devil's advocate here):

I've just been informed by the wifey that Junior has been messin' with the wrong friends, and that pricey little therapist that he has been seeing (that has kept his assured dismissal reasonably at bay) has recommended that Junior attend a "different institution" in preparation for his future endeavors. This recommendation has been precipitated by a crisis: Junior got caught doing blah blah blah, or did blah blah blah, or ended up blah-blah-blahing...

    [Mind you, not all program parents are of this demographic, but the ones that are driving the market are more often than not of this ilk, in this day and age.][/list]

    Wifey gives me the list of three recommended programs. I do an internet check; I want to know where my money might be headed...

    Believe me, I am not going to wade through more than two paragraphs on the "About Us" page. And if those paragraphs are too long...no way. And if it smells anything like a "personal mission," fahgedaboudit... Maybe the wife will look at it, but I sure as hell won't. I don't have time, I rely on professionals, and professional opinions only. That's my place in life, my stature in the pecking order of humanity. And I am the one paying the bills. [Anybody else thinking of TheWho in all this?]

    —•?|•?•0•?•|?•—

    I think we really want to take the emphasis OFF of the "About Us." They want to know more? They have to enter the meat of the site. The last thing we want to do is give them reasons to discount us. Those may not be legitimate reasons, but they are reasons effective enough for the first (and possibly last) time visitor.
    « Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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    Offline Che Gookin

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    Re: Essay Contest: About a.p.all
    « Reply #22 on: November 29, 2008, 05:06:28 AM »
    Quote from: "Ursus"

    Ummm... I hope I'm not stepping on anyone's toes with this query, but do we really need an ESSAY for this? I'm all for stating purpose clearly and succinctly, but the minute you start getting into a whole treatise about one's righteous purpose and all that, is the minute you're gonna lose 70% of the [readership. They're there just for the information. "Just the facts, Ma'am, nothin' but the facts!"



    ^this...
    « Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

    Offline psy

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    Re: Statement Contest: About a.p.all
    « Reply #23 on: November 29, 2008, 06:11:27 AM »
    Quote from: "Rusty Goat"
    here's my doodad for the day... If'n you can use any of it, go right ahead... personally, I think the "about us" should be short and firm but sweet... we can have a separate page for "expert opinions" or something... oh, and a "youtube" page would be completely awesome. That venue has already demonstrated itself to be a great program bashing/hurting tactic.  RG

    here goes:

    Welcome to the AP Alliance website.


    The AP Alliance consists of volunteers, parents, members of several national, international, professional advocacy groups and organizations. This group includes a large number of survivors of behavior modification facilities, boarding schools, and other “teen help” programs. They have combined efforts to share their expertise, experience and vast information resources in an easy to find location on the internet. The AP Alliance strives to offer visitors to this site a birds-eye view of the troubled teen industry including specific details, information and overwhelming evidence of a proven abusive and deadly track record in programs throughout the United States and abroad.

    Throughout this site you will find out why this industry should be shut down and the people, agencies and businesses that contribute to, operate, and profit from it should be held fully accountable. This includes politicians, law enforcement, educational consultants, and doctors. The AP Alliance knows no boundaries with respect to states or countries.

    Please take some time to research our site. Thank you for visiting.

    The AP Alliance

    I think i'm leaning towards this as my favorite as a mission statement.
    « Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
    Benchmark Young Adult School - bad place [archive.org link]
    Sue Scheff Truth - Blog on Sue Scheff
    "Our services are free; we do not make a profit. Parents of troubled teens ourselves, PURE strives to create a safe haven of truth and reality." - Sue Scheff - August 13th, 2007 (fukkin surreal)

    Offline psy

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    Re: Statement Contest: About a.p.all
    « Reply #24 on: November 29, 2008, 06:15:45 AM »
    Quote from: "Ursus"
    I think we really want to take the emphasis OFF of the "About Us." They want to know more? They have to enter the meat of the site. The last thing we want to do is give them reasons to discount us. Those may not be legitimate reasons, but they are reasons effective enough for the first (and possibly last) time visitor.

    Well.  The "about us" will certainly not be the first thing presented.  I do, however feel that it is necessary for credibility purposes to explain a bit about who we are.

    Isac has some pretty compelling examples demonstrating how this is important (view this through a parent's eyes):
    http://isaccorp.org/aboutus.asp
    http://isaccorp.org/faq.asp
    « Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
    Benchmark Young Adult School - bad place [archive.org link]
    Sue Scheff Truth - Blog on Sue Scheff
    "Our services are free; we do not make a profit. Parents of troubled teens ourselves, PURE strives to create a safe haven of truth and reality." - Sue Scheff - August 13th, 2007 (fukkin surreal)

    Offline Che Gookin

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    Re: Statement Contest: About a.p.all
    « Reply #25 on: November 29, 2008, 08:07:24 AM »
    Keep it simple and to the point. Rusty Goat hits it out well enough. Though it is a shame the word advocate has to be used, but that is merely my general dislike for the word and stubborn refusal to title myself as such.
    « Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

    Offline hurrikayne

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    Re: Statement Contest: About a.p.all
    « Reply #26 on: November 29, 2008, 08:46:41 AM »
    The goat gets my vote as well.
    « Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
    "Motivation is everything. You can do the work of two people, but you can\'t be two people. Instead, you have to inspire the next guy down the line and get him to inspire his people. " - Lee Iacocca

    Offline Miss Antsy Pam

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    Re: Statement Contest: About a.p.all
    « Reply #27 on: November 29, 2008, 02:31:51 PM »
    I think the list will be useful for other purposes, but I think we need to make our Mission Statement...simple and concise.  I don't want to loose a parent from reading the rest of the content because of the laundry list of things WE ALL oppose.

    Let's keep it as simple as possible....we want to "hook them" right away so they will dive into the site for more info...just my 2 cents

    ~pam
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    United we stand....divided....we fail!

    Offline kev (antiWWASP.com)

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    Re: Statement Contest: About a.p.all
    « Reply #28 on: November 30, 2008, 06:53:34 AM »
    Quote from: "psy"
    Quote from: "Rusty Goat"
    here's my doodad for the day... If'n you can use any of it, go right ahead... personally, I think the "about us" should be short and firm but sweet... we can have a separate page for "expert opinions" or something... oh, and a "youtube" page would be completely awesome. That venue has already demonstrated itself to be a great program bashing/hurting tactic.  RG

    here goes:

    Welcome to the AP Alliance website.


    The AP Alliance consists of volunteers, parents, members of several national, international, professional advocacy groups and organizations. This group includes a large number of survivors of behavior modification facilities, boarding schools, and other “teen help” programs. They have combined efforts to share their expertise, experience and vast information resources in an easy to find location on the internet. The AP Alliance strives to offer visitors to this site a birds-eye view of the troubled teen industry including specific details, information and overwhelming evidence of a proven abusive and deadly track record in programs throughout the United States and abroad.

    Throughout this site you will find out why this industry should be shut down and the people, agencies and businesses that contribute to, operate, and profit from it should be held fully accountable. This includes politicians, law enforcement, educational consultants, and doctors. The AP Alliance knows no boundaries with respect to states or countries.

    Please take some time to research our site. Thank you for visiting.

    The AP Alliance

    I think i'm leaning towards this as my favorite as a mission statement.

    This is my favorite at this point as well.. Good work Rusty (i know who u are! lol)
    « Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
    [9:26:52 AM] Michael Crawford says: it\'s an orange splotch with sentimental value to ginger.

    Offline Ursus

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    Re: Statement Contest: About a.p.all
    « Reply #29 on: November 30, 2008, 04:47:59 PM »
    I would omit the "welcome" starter and requesting that they take some time and "thank you for visiting" closer. Not necessary, and it implies we're desperate to have them visit. Next thing ya know, we'll be apologizing for offensive content.

    I also think we should avoid broadening the net of who is in our gun sights, i.e.: "This includes politicians, law enforcement, educational consultants, and doctors." Hopefully some of those people will be reading our site, and may in fact be able to do some good for the cause. One wouldn't want them thinking that their chosen profession has singled them out for suspicion on Apall, and that they are not welcome.

    Other than the above, the meat of this is quite good. My utmost respect to you, Rusty, for putting this together! :notworthy:

    I also think psy's example of ISAC's AboutUs is a very good one. Clean, simple, powerful.

    Here is my suggestion of an edit, apologies to Rusty if'n I removed a favored portion! My changes (other than new-paragraph insertions) in red:

    —•?|•?•0•?•|?•— —•?|•?•0•?•|?•— —•?|•?•0•?•|?•—

    The AP Alliance consists of volunteers, parents, and members of several national, international, professional advocacy groups and organizations. This group includes a large number of survivors of behavior modification facilities, "emotional growth" boarding schools, and other "teen help" programs.

    They have combined efforts to share their expertise, experience and vast information resources in an interconnected and centralized location on the internet.

    The AP Alliance strives to offer visitors to this site a birds-eye view of the troubled teen industry including specific details, information and overwhelming evidence of a proven abusive and deadly track record in programs throughout the United States and abroad.
    « Last Edit: November 30, 2008, 05:18:26 PM by Ursus »
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