Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Psych Hospitals

Texas Psychiatric Abuses

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iamartsy:
TimberTeen,
That is what I am talking about. I went in when I was 21 and turned 22 there. I was rarely allowed visits with my parents or family. I was also not allowed near my own money. I did call there recently to obtain my nurse's notes and was told they had been destroyed by now. Is that true?

I really do want them. I know they thought the turned me from gay to straight (ha ha). I also know my prognosis was not good. I remain traumatized. I was discharged almost 23 years ago exactly. I still have not forgiven my parents or the the staff there. My parent's essentially forced me into T-lawn. My family still has the family picture that we took from when we had our family day hanging in their house. It makes me ill to look at it. I am in this sweater and a skirt. I was also sick as a dog when they came up to Dallas. The hospital had been refusing to give me antibiotics for respiratory infection I had gotten on a camping trip in wet cold weather. I was running over 100 degrees of fever up until the day before they came up. The hospital staff was trying to teach me "mind over matter". Unfortunately, my lungs were not cooperating with that care plan!

I do consider myself lucky that avoided restraints and room therapy. I was mortified of both. I did sign a 3 day letter one time, and they put me back on suicide watch even though I was not suicidal. My mom happened to call up there and found out what was going on. She was able to get them to let me into that center courtyard thing to walk around. She told them if they really wanted to drive me batshit then to keep me indoors. If you ever wan to meet a severely claustrophobic person it is me.

Thanks to others that have shared their stories here. If you know how I can obtain my records please let me know. My therapist in NYC had them but I think she dumped them in the Hudson after I left. That was our agreement anyway. No joke, I gave her permission. She said that there was nothing there I wanted to read and that it would only upset me further. Now I do want to know what the Nurse's notes said. I do know that much of the staff was very illiterate, so I can only imagine.

Sorry for the lengthy post. This is the first time I am telling my own story here, I think. It has been awhile and I don't remember my other posts.

Anonymous:
iamArtsy,
Sometime around the year 2000 I decided I wanted to view my records from Timberlawn in an effort to find closure, put it behind me (this was 20+ years after discharge). On the Adolescent Unit, we were forced to keep a journal of sorts. They were held in a manila folder that was kept in the Nurses Station. The form we had to write on was lined and had a title at the top called "Nurses Notes". We were allowed to draw on/decorate the manila folder--one kind of pathetic thing I remember was that most every folder had little "john + mary =love4ever" stuff like teenagers write on things. After all we were teens locked up for years at the height of hormonal rage so there were always little romances going on with the boys on the other side of the unit...also some gay romances as well, of course. Since physical contact was extremely limited...it was very frustrating. Anyway...I digress. So each evening we had to get our Nurses Notes folder from the nurses station and write something about our day. We could write anything we wanted (such as "Timberlawn Sucks!"), but the nurses, aides, Docs all looked them over so we eventually learned not to write anything that could be used against us. If we did NOT write in our Nurses Notes we got punished with some time on chair (maybe an hour or so).
20 plus years later the grownup me wanted to read these to connect with the teen me of then--know what I mean?
I made several calls to Timberlawn and was told this was possible, but I needed to hurry as they would soon be destroying the records from my era. I had to make an appointment for a certain day, bring my ID. My car was old and high-mileage, so I spent $75.00 to rent a car and hightailed it to Dallas (I live elsewhere in Texas now). I was so excited and creeped out at the same time! I got there, went into the Whitehouse (shudder), showed my ID, and was taken to some big officey/warehousey kind of room. I was seated at a table, the office worker came toward me with a pile of records, set it in front of me, and IT WASN'T MINE! The first name started with the same letter, the last name was the same, but these were records for an older woman who was there at a different time than I was. I pointed this out & demanded MY records. There were phone calls made, hushed conversations held across the room with sidelong glances at me. Eventually I was told that MY records had been destroyed THE DAY BEFORE! I felt so screwed over and wounded by Timberlawn...again! After I got home I called up there and demanded I at least be re-imbursed for the car rental. After several calls were never returned I wrote a lengthy letter to the Doctor in Charge/Medical director whatever. I eventually recieved a check for $75.00 along with a terse note from this Doc that said "while I do not feel Timberlawn can be held responsible for your lack of adequate transportation"...blah blah. What a jerk!
So, Artsy, don't bother trying. :-(

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