Rape me..Rape me, my ... uh, family?

[Anonymous]

Confided in me by an expeditor, and well- respected member in a moment of looseness..



was something like this......




" Paul, I m not stupid.  I know what they do in this place.  I ve been raped.  I know what it feels like...  They raaaaape you. "

[Paul St. John]

:bump:

[Troublemaker]

:bump:

[Troublemaker]

Was it Danny Bennison's house?

[Paul St. John]

Well, now, ya sure are a troublemaker..lol

and are surely honest about it..

ain't nothing wrong with that.. just hope most people know to separate the trouble-making, from the serious shit..

Whether or not, Danny has committed the acts that Wayne are accusing him of, TC's emotionally rape you.  The way she said it though, was almost as though, she meant it literal.. that they were that similar to her.. all I can do is report what I observed, as she clearly knows about and understand something that I can only guess about, having never been raped.


I remember, that for me, it was such an unexpected thing.  I never knew she felt that way.  She was living a double life in order to survive the program.


Fucking place.. Fucking place... Fucking place... How they twisted the truth.. and how I so loved the truth... It was like silently watching the love of my life tortured to death, and there was nothing I can do about it.

The truth is, I always said to myself while I was in there, that they would pay some day.. that I would destroy them..
(suppose that was my double life)   I always tried to act peaceful in there, and project the persona of a peaceful guy, which really at my core is what I was, which is why I did not like them....

But inside me, I was mad.. Flaming fucking mad. I knew that they were destroying me, and I had no intention of letting them get away with it.


.. and no Danny was not there. : )

Paul St. John

[Ursus]

The way she said it though, was almost as though, she meant it literal..

Just to clarify, are you saying that the scene described in the OP occurred at Daytop (and not Elan)? Or, am I missing or misunderstanding something?

[Paul St. John]

Yes.  At the time that I wrote the post, there was no daytop *section*, and as Daytop and Elan were identical in their original foundational structure, I did all my posting in the Elan section.  This is how I came to know as much as I do about Elan , and meet so many people who attended Elan... I never had any intention of becoming so interested in Elan, in and of itself, but did all the same.  My thoughts on Elan,( and last time I said this I offended someone whose opinion I do respect) is that Elan was worse then Daytop.  Elan was an attempt at creating a Daytop by someone who hadn t the integrity to even pull that off.

Picture society is a man, and Daytop is a man with a disease.  Elan is a disease with a disease.

( and I have also always suspected that there is something else as well, but I can t be sure of any of that)


Paul St. John

[Paul St. John]

The way she said it though, was almost as though, she meant it literal..

Just to clarify, are you saying that the scene described in the OP occurred at Daytop (and not Elan)? Or, am I missing or misunderstanding something?

Also, I don t mean to imply that she was actually raped there.. I am only reporting how it all seemed to me.  People can make what they want of it.. What I took from it was that the feeling or experience of it was that similar to her.

I am fairly certain, that no one raped her in Daytop.  There was a lot of fucked shit, but it just wasn t that type of place. Things like that didn t happen there.  Even when residents had sex amongst themselves, it was usually found out about and punished.  In most cases, it would have been considered statutory rape, but no one really sweat that shit.. It wasn t mentioned- only that house rules had been broken.  Personally, I didn t think that the statutory was a big deal myself.  These people were all close in age. Honestly, growing up, I don t remember anyone making a big deal of shit like that, anywhere. Kids fucked all the time.   Anyhow, having sex, or anything short of that for the purpose of sexual pleasure was called " Playing games"  a term to which this day, actually angers me and saddens me all the same time.

Paul

[Che Gookin]

So Daytop is some poor bastard with HIV and Cancer?

[Xelebes]

So Daytop is some poor bastard with HIV and Cancer?

*click* Yup.

[Inculcated]

Yeah, well, no boxing ring and no zip ties at Daytop is for damn sure a blessing, nonetheless a non consensual mind fuck, but I do recall Daytop handling the three cardinal rules as if they were mortal sins. The cardinal rules being rightly: No Fighting No Fucking No Fixing. Of course, it turns out, there were hypocritical exceptions to dealing consequences in bizzaro world. No integrity either as it turned out. They were upfront about there being no refuge though and right too.:flame:

[Paul St. John]

So Daytop is some poor bastard with HIV and Cancer?

Nah.. the Daytop dude just has cancer.. The Elan guy has both...

Probably not the best comparison, but i pretty much come with this shit, as my fingers type it.

To really explain it, as I see it, let me try to come up with something better ....hmmmm


Put quite simply Daytop, as I experienced it, had some structure.  Elan, I believe, was created to have the same structure, by a person who was actually more evil, then the Daytop structure itself, and it eroded, into something worse.

Daytop was more, for better or worse, a part of society.  Elan was tucked away in the woods.  Even, if daytop counselors wanted to do what the Elan counselors did, I don t think that they could have gotten away with it.





Paul St. John

[Troublemaker]

Sorry, I saw "expeditor" and assumed it was Elan. I forget that the language is the same in other programs, but I only went to one.

And yes I am a troublemaker. I want the sexual abuse in these places exposed but I don't know how to do it. It happened to me there so I've been reading this site and other Elan groups for two years now waiting for someone to say it happened to them too. I can see why they don't. I understand people being skeptical but to have people like None Ya make jokes about it and have Danny ridicule you for it is enough to keep people quiet. Who woul;d want to relive the horror of it 20 or 30 years later? Who would dare subject themself to assholes like them?

Danny admitted to statutory Rape not statutory relationship. Thats enough for me to believe Wayne. That and the way he reacted.

Also, if someone accused me of rape and it wasn't rue I would have called the police. As much as he hates Wayne he would have loved to do that, but he didn't. Why? I think its because he's guilty But I'm not a jury. It looks like the Elan story will never end