We have it on good authority that TCK will be in charge of this years christmas concept at elan. TCK wants to eliminate having Christmas trees in the houses and replace them with 8 ft totem poles. TCK has also manipulated the Christmas carols to indian mongoloid songs, that will pay homage to his tribe.
*We wish you a hi yuh yuh * song #1
*Joy to the mongo injuns* song #2
*Here comes Kruglik* song #3
*I saw Marty kissing buffalos* song #4
*Marty the mongo injun* song #5
*Rudolph the red nose buffalo* song #6
All these songs must be learned and sang on concept christmas or students will be shotdown indefinately.
Students that are strength, will have the opportunity to ride in a buffalo drawn sled around the mongoloid reservation.
There will also be no egg nog, as TCK insisited on buffalo nog to be provided at all houses. All houses are required to present TCK with a gift, preferably a sweater that has been out of style for 20 years. Salvation army should have plenty in stock.
TCK will be dressed in full *Hi chi chi* war gear, and will also represent himself as the chief mongoloid indian reservationist. He will then address each house in a house meeting where he will use his talking hand jestures, and try not to look at the floor. He will also shove a candy cane up his ass, and denounce Santa Claus, in a mongolid reservationist ceremony.
One lucky house will have on display TCK's *Krug-Bot*, which has a built in voice recorded that repeatedly says "hi yuh yuh yuh" over and over and over and...
Kickapoo will also be in attendence,
TCK made a new rule where as he gets to pick and choose one Christmas gift from each resident to keep for himself. He claims that a $250.00 salary a week doesn't get him ahead in life when it comes to material possessions. Any resident that is corner bound at the time will forfiet all of their presents to TCK indefinately.
I aksed TCK why that is and he had this to say:
TCK> **Me suh not like when resident defies and underminds program. The corner is a way a resident can escape responsiblities and be non conformitive when it comes to brain washing. Me suhs policy is either you accept brain washing as your destiny for the next 30 months, or suffer the suh consquences. Me suh despises when residents run off into corner, Me suh say it is disrespectful.**
TCK> *hi yuh yuh yuh, chi chi chi, hi yuh yuh yuh yuh. chi hi yuh chi yuh yuh chi chi hi.*
Reporter> *TCK you okay there?**
TCK> *Me suh fine, Me suh sometimes get uncontrollable tick.>
I asked TCK about the New years Eve Concept and he told me that there will be a new rule startign this year. The winning resident with the most amount of chips this year will have to forfeit all of his or her chips to TCK. It is considered a *Paying homage* thing towards TCK, and also the $250.00 salary that gets him no where stipulation.
Further more winning students will not leave empty handed. TCK will present a preserved buffalo scrotum sac to the select winners of each house. TCK claims that these preserved buffalo scrotum sacs will be fresh and unfondled. TCK states that these scrotum sacs are a huge honor to be presented because it is a very rare reward. Just like the US Purple heart.
The interview then ended because TCK had to go fondle a buffalo that was grazing in the soccer feild. Five minutes later as we started to drive up number 5 road, we saw TCK out in the soccer feild with his head submerged in the buffalos ass, and heard what appeared to be saying, *hi yuh yuh , yum yum yum, hi yum hi yum hi yum, it's good to be me.*
