Author Topic: Elan's concept Christmas & New years celebration  (Read 2512 times)

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Offline The Elan Reporter

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Elan's concept Christmas & New years celebration
« on: December 10, 2007, 09:19:41 AM »
We have it on good authority that TCK will be in charge of this years christmas concept at elan. TCK wants to eliminate having Christmas trees in the houses and replace them with 8 ft totem poles. TCK has also manipulated the Christmas carols to indian mongoloid songs, that will pay homage to his tribe.

*We wish you a hi yuh yuh * song #1
*Joy to the mongo injuns* song #2
*Here comes Kruglik* song #3
*I saw Marty kissing buffalos* song #4
*Marty the mongo injun* song #5
*Rudolph the red nose buffalo* song #6

All these songs must be learned and sang on concept christmas or students will be shotdown indefinately.

Students that are strength, will have the opportunity to ride in a buffalo drawn sled around the mongoloid reservation.

There will also be no egg nog, as TCK insisited on buffalo nog to be provided at all houses. All houses are required to present TCK with a gift, preferably a sweater that has been out of style for 20 years. Salvation army should have plenty in stock.

TCK will be dressed in full *Hi chi chi* war gear, and will also represent  himself as the chief mongoloid indian reservationist. He will then address each house in a house meeting where he will use his talking hand jestures, and try not to look at the floor. He will also shove a candy cane up his ass, and denounce Santa Claus, in a mongolid reservationist ceremony.

One lucky house will have on display TCK's *Krug-Bot*, which has a built in voice recorded that repeatedly says "hi yuh yuh yuh" over and over and over and...

Kickapoo will also be in attendence,

TCK made a new rule where as he gets to pick and choose one Christmas gift from each resident to keep for himself. He claims that a $250.00 salary a week doesn't get him ahead in life when it comes to material possessions. Any resident that is corner bound at the time will forfiet all of their presents to TCK indefinately.
I aksed TCK why that is and he had this to say:

TCK> **Me suh not like when resident defies and underminds program. The corner is a way a resident can escape responsiblities and be non conformitive when it comes to brain washing. Me suhs policy is either you accept brain washing as your destiny for the next 30 months, or suffer the suh consquences. Me suh despises when residents run off into corner, Me suh say it is disrespectful.**

TCK> *hi yuh yuh yuh, chi chi chi, hi yuh yuh yuh yuh. chi hi yuh chi yuh yuh chi chi hi.*

Reporter> *TCK you okay there?**

TCK> *Me suh fine, Me suh sometimes get uncontrollable tick.>


I asked TCK about the New years Eve Concept and he told me that there will be a new rule startign this year. The winning resident with the most amount of chips this year will have to forfeit all of his or her chips to TCK. It is considered a *Paying homage* thing towards TCK, and also the $250.00 salary that gets him no where stipulation.

Further more winning students will not leave empty handed. TCK will present a preserved buffalo scrotum sac to the select winners of each house. TCK claims that these preserved buffalo scrotum sacs will be fresh and unfondled. TCK states that these scrotum sacs are a huge honor to be presented because it is a very rare reward. Just like the US Purple heart.

The interview then ended because TCK had to go fondle a buffalo that was grazing in the soccer feild. Five minutes later as we started to drive up number 5 road, we saw TCK out in the soccer feild with his head submerged in the buffalos ass, and heard what appeared to be saying, *hi yuh yuh , yum yum yum, hi yum hi yum hi yum, it's good to be me.*
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
fArt Warshitsky sucks dicks!!!

Offline Ursus

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Elan's concept Christmas & New years celebration
« Reply #1 on: December 10, 2007, 02:10:17 PM »
Quote from: ""The Elan Reporter""
TCK wants to eliminate having Christmas trees in the houses and replace them with 8 ft totem poles.

Maybe Botched Programming needs to bring his festivus pole... :rofl:
« Last Edit: December 11, 2007, 02:39:01 PM by Guest »
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Offline Mister Pink

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Elan's concept Christmas & New years celebration
« Reply #2 on: December 11, 2007, 12:47:46 PM »


 :o  culled from the dark fantasies of a man named MARTY KRUGLICK - chief elan-bot programmer for ELAN inc.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
quot;Its a shame the way she makes me scrub the floor\" - Bob Dylan

Offline Ursus

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Elan's concept Christmas & New years celebration
« Reply #3 on: December 11, 2007, 12:55:54 PM »
Too cute.
« Last Edit: December 11, 2007, 06:23:38 PM by Guest »
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Offline Mister Pink

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Elan's concept Christmas & New years celebration
« Reply #4 on: December 11, 2007, 02:14:02 PM »
whats with my inability to post a pic?
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
quot;Its a shame the way she makes me scrub the floor\" - Bob Dylan

Offline Botched Programming

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Elan's concept Christmas & New years celebration
« Reply #5 on: December 11, 2007, 02:34:56 PM »
Quote from: ""Ursus""
Quote from: ""The Elan Reporter""
TCK wants to eliminate having Christmas trees in the houses and replace them with 8 ft totem poles.
Maybe Botched Programming needs to bring his festivus pole... :rofl:



Hey..... Christians have Christmas, Jewish people have Hanukkah, Africans have Quanza,

But as for me..... I celebrate Festivus, because festivus is for the rest of us.

It starts with a nice aluminum pole (no tinsel, no lighting, no problem). At the festivus dinner we have the airing of grievances (where you gather your family around and tell them the ways they disappointed you over the course of the last year), and last but not least the feat of strength (where you have to try to pin the head of the house in a wrestling match), by the way Festivus is not over until I get pinned.

By the way all....... Happy Festivus......

« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Elan Reporter's Assistant

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Elan's concept Christmas & New years celebration
« Reply #6 on: December 14, 2007, 12:30:51 PM »
"Hi yuh yuh"
(Sung to the tune of "Jingle Bells")

Verse 1:

Dashing through Elan

On a dirty buffalo

Shooting everyone down

And chanting ho ho ho (hi yuh yuh)

Nuts on a little boy

Are Marty Kruglik's delight

A three-house ring, a long VR, a hi yuh yuh tonight!!

OH!

Chorus:
Hi yuh yuh

Hi yuh yuh

Hi-yuh all the way!

Oh what fun it is to scream

At some troubled teens today... hey!

Hi yuh yuh

Hi yuh yuh

Hi-yuh all the way

Oh what fun it is to scream at some troubled teens today!

Verse 2:

A day or two ago

I got myself shotdown

And Marty Kruglik's smell

Was stinking up my house

He put on fecal warpaint

And started to dance around

He wouldn't look me in the eye

He just stared at the ground

OH!

Hi yuh yuh

Hi yuh yuh

Hi-yuh all the way!

Oh what fun it is to scream

At some troubled teens today... hey!

Hi yuh yuh

Hi yuh yuh

Hi-yuh all the way!

Oh what fun it is to scream

At some troubled teens today!!
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
am Big Chief...Hi-yuh hi-yuh hi-yuh Hi-yuh hi-yuh hi-yuh Hi-yuh


Offline java.gurl

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Elan's concept Christmas & New years celebration
« Reply #7 on: December 31, 2007, 11:58:38 PM »
I saw Marty kissing buffalo's ??!!!! :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:  LOVE IT!
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »