Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Spouses of Survivors

Are there any S.O.'s or spouses out there?

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Anonymous:
Guess I'm just kind of curious, as I think as a group we're in a... unique place, dealing with the stuff that goes along with being involved with someone who's survived what's becoming obvious to me was hell on earth.

Sometimes, I don't even know how or where to start, or if I even need to ask.  I don't want to bring back something he'd rather forget, but I don't want to pretend it didn't happen, because that's equally wrong.  I've experienced some abuse, but not like this, not like what he's gone through.  

Sorry if this sounds confused, it's just there is so much information, and sometimes it just seems overwhelming to me.

Thanks.

kpickle39:
Yes, my wife understands what has happened.  I told her slowly as we were dating because most of the people that I confided in previously just couldn't relate or looked at me like I was a wierdo.   Pls email my wife at [email protected]

Good luck -

Sincerely,

Mike

PS - wife's name if Rhonda

Anonymous:
ISAC has a spouse support group , you can email them at [email protected]

Anonymous:
My husband has a hard time with the whole issue. He doesn't understand why I can't let it go, even though it was so long ago. I don't talk about it on a daily basis, but it does come up, as anyone's high school experiences do. I think the main problem is getting spouses to understand the ptsd that many of us are experiencing. I have to admit though, the dreams have really subsided since the news that all cedu schools were closed!

Anonymous:
I went to CEDU too in '87. I was excited to find this forum as I never talked about it with anyone. It wasn't something anyone could understand. I don't think it's abnormal that you aren't over it. It was such an insidiously invasive experience that occurred at a crucial time in development. For me, it was made worse because I couldn't talk about it afterward. Even now, my parents have a hard time believing the place they sent me to was so wacked out. (They believe it, but are very uncomfortable talking about it.)

I think these schools have a deleterious effect on relationships for the following reasons: it promoted abusive communication tactics; it inculcated a feeling of defensiveness as you are used to being continually and arbitrarily blasted; it made it difficult to open up for fear your pain will be exploited; and finally, it messed with your relational boundaries.  

For me, it was good to come to this site and understand these things.

The funny thing is I "met" someone who went to CEDU on this forum and we just got engaged, so we both understand all these tactics. Life is crazy. The LAST thing I expected was to fall in love with someone on this site.

Are you V.V. by any chance?

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