Bill Valentine's applogoy

[Anonymous]

Interesting!!! I also got a very humble tearful and sincere apology form Rudy Bentz.

I don't find that very hard to believe. While I didn't much care for Jill, Rudy always seemed real to me.

[Anonymous]

son of serbia, you were in my peer group???  you should email me and tell me your real name, i would really like that.

[email protected]

i am sorry if i ever said anything mean to you there.  i am good at being mean.  i am smart and i can understand people, thats why i hate cedu so much, i was so young and they trained me to use all my insight about people to hurt them and to find ways of criticizing and belittling them.

i feel so sad so often that i just let that happen.  and then i look at our country and feel that i must take action somehow or else this cancer we all felt at cedu may even find its way into the public school system, and the philosophies of self hatred will destroy our country.

as far as i can tell its no accident.  reagan and all them loved the cedu type programs.  these are the same fascist, racist, greedy ignoramuses that are still pissed off that their african american slaves were taken from them, and they want them back.  they dont care where they come from, they dont care the color of their skin, or their backgrounds or beleifs, they just care that we shut up and run the machines.

i would be happy for you to interview me psy, u can also email me at the above email if you like.  

fei(for everyone's information):  my boyfriend and i just had a great weekend in mammoth for his birthday.  it snowed and was so pretty.  i talked to all my friends about how my first snow i ever saw fall was at cedu.  it continues to feel good to not have cedu be a taboo in my life, despite the pain i continually experience as i come out of denial about it.

[Anonymous]

Alia - I am wondering who you are.

I left probably right when you were getting there and was on bans from Qwest and below.

I remember Son of Serbia and Cedu is a Cult quite well.

Perhaps you might have seen me around but I would not have been able to talk to you.

Bill Valentine apologizing - very interesting.

Whereas, I must admit that Bill was not as bad as most of the staff there, he still was headmaster or essentially ringleader of that circus-cult-BS.

Pretty wild when the ringleader calls foul.

I have also been under the impression from mnay in the past that it was under Bill's direction of Cedu when they finally started giving behavior modification drugs to the kids while at cedu. While I was there it was strictly forbidden for the kids to even be on ridolin or anything of the sort.
Would be interesting for him to pop on here and answer some posts to many questions that staff insight is requested...

[Anonymous]

yes, about bill and the drugs, my friend jackson said that bill was ok, that he had really confronted him (and this was after i graduated) and that bill had changed the program, and even reduced the number of raps and changed the abusive nature of the raps.  i dont know to what degree, i only had one conversation with him and we lost touch again.  it was an awkward evening, i was a hard core christian, and he was still angry with me for the things i had done to him at cedu.  he didnt feel as powerless against it as i did.

as far as who i am, i am 5'2" and had blondish hair.  on one of my first morning thingies, the name of which escapes me, the man who was the headmaster when i first got there, another name i have deleted apparently, was talking about bob dylan and i knew the lyric he was going to say was, "he not busy being born is busy dying"  i thought it was a good omen that these guys knew cool lyrics like that and talked about them.  i felt so proud and was so happy to finally be somewhere were i fit in.

o boy was that high gonna have a come down.

so i dont know if you remember that but that was me.  and u may have noticed a bunch of missing information, that is what my head looks like, i remember very very very very little of those 2.5 years.  there is a chance you could jog my memory if you remembered me, but i am sorry i remember almost no one.  even my peer group.  i only remember a few names.  i dont remember raps like people here do, i dont remember hardly anything, i totally numbed out as fast and as hard as i could as soon as i got there i just completely shut down.

and i have been in denial about the whole thing until now, 15 years later.  and every memory hurts, and every realization of what my mind became at their hands makes me cry, and every tear makes me remember those hours and hours and hours of wailing at nothing, at myself, at my very hatred for them.

that was the crazy part, eventually, all the 'work' i did all that rage was 'FUCK YOU FOR WHAT YOU ARE DOING TO ME RIGHT NOW YOU FUCKERS!!!!!!!!!'  you know?  like didnt you ever scream at the floor ever in raps and know deep in ur head what your really saying is 'I HATE THIS FUCKING PLACE!!!!!!!!!  YOU PEOPLE ARE FUCKING LUNATICS!!!!!!!!!!!!'

cedu.  and i have beleived that i was powerless until now, and still feel powerless.  the true crime:  i hid myself away so that when i had power again i could resume my life as if nothing had happened, but like a fish thats lived with an invisible barrier, i didnt know the i wasn't powerless anymore, i never quite had enough evidence, i still don't, i finally am having to just take a leap of faith!  because they stole the luxury of security from me.

but oh well, i don't seek to punish.  the impulse to punish is incorrect.  i just don't want this done to others or to me ever again.  there is no need to humiliate our abusers like they humiliated us, that really does just perpetuate they karmic cycle...  it just demonstrates further how to abuse.  what we all need to see is how to heal.  and i beleive in the power of forgiveness.

is it true that rudy appologized to someone or was that just made up?

[Anonymous]

my friend jackson said that bill was ok, that he had really confronted him (and this was after i graduated) and that bill had changed the program, and even reduced the number of raps and changed the abusive nature of the raps.

Alia,

Is your friend Jackson Nash? If so, then you should really choose your friends better.  For those of you who don't know, Jackson Nash is a Cedu programmie who still drinks the kool aid, and is a regular poster at the cedualumni.com sheep site. Those posters who have been here a while may remember that several years ago, Jackson and a couple of his loser cedualumni friends trolled this site anonymously on a daily basis, and visciously attacked anyone and everyone who did not support their pro-cedu views.  Jackson Nash figured out who I was after another one of his programmie friends David Olshansky told him my name (at least the one that I went by at Cedu).  Jackson posted this information about me, including where he believes I currently reside, on two different websites, fornits (Antigen confirmed this publicly) and cedualumni.com.  Jackson did this despite the fact did that several days earlier an anonymous programmie at cedualumni.com specifically threatened me that he would come to my house and rape my wife when I was't home. Another anon programmie from the cedualumni site made a follow up post here at fornits where he threatened that "If you don't stop direspecting what is important us (cedu), we'll attack what is impostant to you, your family!" Seriously, Jackson Nash is spineless, he's a maggot just like all the other Cedu losers he emulates.

For someone who feels about Cedu the way you do Alia, I'm shocked
that you would call Jackson Nash a friend. Perhaps I'm wrong and it's an entirely different Jackson all together.  God I hope so.


-Son Of Serbia

[dishdutyfugitive]

Are you serious? Their platform is Pro-CEDU and mafia style violence?

These are graduates? From what year/school?

[Anonymous]

I didn't realize David Olshansky was a cedu troll...How very disappointing.

I remember when he moved in. I thought he was a likeable guy.

Now I don't like him...

Alia - have you seen this website?
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cedu

That should take you back....

~JP~

[Son Of Serbia]

Are you serious? Their platform is Pro-CEDU and mafia style violence?

These are graduates? From what year/school?

David Olshansky graduated Cedu RS in December 1992.
I think Jackson Nash Graduated  from Cedu RS in winter
1994 or spring/summer of 1995.  I don't know which Cedu facility
the poster(s) who threatened my wife & family attended, because they were always anonymous.  I do however have reason to
suspect that one of the posters who threatened me may have
been Anne Hall's (Ottawa 5) son, who graduated from RMA in
the late 90's, and/or possibly one of his friends from RMA.  The threat against my wife was originally posted cedualumni.com, but it was removed by that site's moderater Alex Banister, when he shut down the anonymous posting section of his website over a year ago.  However, the threats made against my family were quoted & reposted here at fornits on a number of threads.  Search the old cedu threads from 2 or 3 years ago and you're bound to come across it.  

Yes cedualumni.com's platform is definately pro-cedu, but the site doesn't advocate mafia style violence, at least not publicly.  However, who can really say how these scumbags feel privately?
What I do know know is that the posters at cedualumni.com  graphically threatened my wife and family, and then tried to publicly expose my identity in hopes of scaring me into silence.  The Sheep did this out of frustration because they couldn't come up with any sensible or credible arguments to dispute my position on cedu.  Before threatening my family, cedu alumni poster tried everything they could to discourage me from posting at their site.  They routinely attacked my ethnicity, calling me rascist terms like "slob" (derogatory word for slav) or "slave boy" (in reference to Adolf Hitler's writings in Mein Kamft which characterized all Slavs as an inferior race of slaves whose sole purpose should be to serve the Aryan race).  Then they attacked my religious beliefs (christianity).  And when that didn't work, the programmies at cedualumni.com began posting disgusting lies about my family, portraying my father as a wife beater, child abuser, and as a sexual deviant, who (they insisted) raped and beat me on a daily basis.  One such programmie anon even theorized that my problems at cedu were really the result of my misdirected anger at my abusive father, and for that reason none of my views on Cedu should be taken seriously.  All lies of course, but what else can we expect from cedu sheep?

Oh yes the programmies at cedualumni.com tried everything they could think of to discredit me, and to silence me, but I refused to
back down.  I kept posting the truth about cedu at their beloved
site, and finally, when one of the programmies decided he had had enough of me, he threatened my wife & family.

As sick as all of this is, what is even more sick is that Jackson Nash
actually tried to help this creep carry out his threat, by posting
my information, including where he believes I reside. This is all quite disturbing in and of itself, but what is even more disturbing is that Jackson Nash is an Attourney by profession. Highly unethical behavior for a lawyer, don't you think?  

And yes, all of this is true.

[justme]

Son of Serbia,

It is incredibly heartbreaking to hear the horrible actions of those disturbed individuals. I'm sorry that you had to experience that.

Justme

[blownawaytheidahoway]

Now that CEDU has been shut down permanently for the fraudulent quacks that they were, it's time to fight the CEDU that is up and running their therapukic culty scams.

SOS was one of the first people to contact me at fornits, and I deeply appreciated hearing his epic turnaround story, and was inspired to stick to my honest impressions of what I saw at my RMA in the late 80's-early 90's. I've missed him on this board as his activism in talking to parents and struggling parents about what options existed was sober and influential.

He was attacked numerous times here, and at CEDU "alumni", a service that I'm glad exists for the sole purpose of saving my friends and showing them to fornits.com! I wouldn't have to chirp in my ten cents here if I hadn't been similarly attacked just for logging in as a pissedrmagrad90. Sorry, but I was trying to meet old friends, understand my experience in Idaho, and generally feeling nostalgic when I found it. It's their own fault for helping to create an atmosphere of diversion. I happened upon this here fornits site a few weeks later and DIDN'T feel comfortable "bad rapping" CEDU, and seeing it torn to shreds, and question all of my older brothers, and favorite staff members' intentions...But if I was treated that way as a fucking CEDU "Alumni" over there, simply for expressing an opinion one way about it, you know they made a lukewarm acquaintance out of me. So, I was pretty neutral when I logged in here as blownawaytheidahoway...and the truth prevails.

They did use coercive techniques that were designed to make us as automaton as possible. CEDU did use tactics in bringing kids to emotional catharsis (daily) that would not be permissible anywhere. Also, it's true that they created an atmosphere that they were against the world, and were victims of society- they were saving the world, one little kid inside at a time. That there is the divergent opinion about their methodology and ideology is interesting as is identifying the conditions of the individual's personal feelings about containment, atmosphere, and therapy may also be interesting discussion, but it doesn't change the fact that they bilked our families out of BILLIONS OF DOLLARS, and did lasting damage to families, kids and individuals.

[blownawaytheidahoway]

Now that CEDU has been shut down permanently for the fraudulent quacks that they were, it's time to fight the CEDU that is up and running their therapukic culty scams.

SOS was one of the first people to contact me at fornits, and I deeply appreciated hearing his epic turnaround story, and was inspired to stick to my honest impressions of what I saw at my RMA in the late 80's-early 90's. I've missed him on this board as his activism in talking to parents and struggling parents about what options exist was and is personally unmotivated, sober and influential.

He was attacked numerous times here, and at CEDU "alumni", a service that I'm glad exists for the sole purpose of saving my friends and showing them to fornits.com! I wouldn't have to chirp in my ten cents here if I hadn't been similarly attacked just for logging in as a pissedrmagrad90. Sorry, but I was trying to meet old friends, understand my experience in Idaho, and generally feeling nostalgic when I found it. It's their own fault for helping to create an atmosphere of diversion. I happened upon this here fornits site a few weeks later and DIDN'T feel comfortable "bad rapping" CEDU, and seeing it torn to shreds, and question all of my older brothers, and favorite staff members' intentions...But if I was treated that way as a fucking CEDU "Alumni" over there, simply for expressing an opinion one way about it, you know they made a lukewarm acquaintance out of me. So, I was pretty neutral when I logged in here as blownawaytheidahoway...and the truth prevails.

They did use coercive techniques that were designed to make us as automaton as possible. CEDU did use tactics in bringing kids to emotional catharsis (daily) that would not be permissible anywhere. Also, it's true that they created an atmosphere that they were against the world, and were victims of society- they were saving the world, one little kid inside at a time. That there is the divergent opinion about their methodology and ideology is interesting as is identifying the conditions of the individual's personal feelings about containment, atmosphere, and therapy may also be interesting discussion, but it doesn't change the fact that they bilked our families out of BILLIONS OF DOLLARS, and did lasting damage to families, kids and individuals.

[Anonymous]

cedualumni.com

Dead forum is dead.

You could probably put a link to Fornits in there and not have it removed for weeks.

[Anonymous]

Son of Serbia...as someone who knew you at cedu, I too am so sorry to hear what the cedu trolls did to you as well.

Knowing you for the short time that I did, it's good to see that you stayed strong like when I knew you at cedu.

It's good to see you back here.

Blown away - I agree with you as well.

When I first surfaced, I went onto the classmates.com site and went onto the cedu chat board. I posted some negative thoughts about cedu and received numerous emails to my classmates email account telling me:
"to get over it"
"You're a pussy"
"fuck off"

blah blah blah.

It made me nervous when I first went onto fornits as well. Especially after I read all the ottawa5 nonsense.

The fact of the matter is this:

It's so good fornits is here AND I think we are just at the tip of the iceberg. There will only continue to be more and more people that wake up after supressing this shit and are going to seek and NEED answers.

It's going to be people's tell all stories (like Blownaway) that will hopefully bring it back into the spot light and generate some real interest.

Liam's work will be out by the first of the year. (www.liamscheff.com)

At some point - someday - maybe we will get to bring someone to justice for all of this...

[Hated Cedu]

Fuck you Bill.  Really...............

It's easy to feel bad for your abuse now, isn't it.

NOT FORGIVEN.

[Anonymous]

I found the Fornits site first.   So fucking glad.  

I still remember the Flame Wars with Ottawa on this site.  I tried to engage in rational discourse, but she, nor could could ANY programmie, answer one simple question: What SPECIFIC tools did CEDU use to promote emotional growth in individuals?  That's all I wanted to know. Very simple question.

I could tell you what tools I use as a teacher, a mother, a girlfriend to promote emotional safety or learning (and where I fuck up, too)... it seems to me it would be quite simple to be able to relate the emotional benefits of CEDU if you were such an ardent believer in its methodology.  But of course, no one would ever offer one example, one tool, one methodology. What does that tell you?

I asked this one question over and over... and got zip.

There is a reason there are no longitudinal studies done to authenticate the benefits of the program.

The crazy thing was that this parent was said that any trauma experienced was due to a rare misplacement OR isolated incidents.  Abusive raps, mindfuckery, and profeets were inherent, systemic aspects of the program.   Isolation was necessary to insulate students from outside influences--including reality.   Isolation was also necessary so they could manipulate (that word!) parents into a higher level of parent-child deception.  How many of you learned STRAIGHTAWAY that any show of mental and verbal non compliance was met with crushing  defeat? And you had no one to turn to. You couldn't even pick up the phone, because it was locked in an office, and your 15 supervised minutes were two week away. And God knows you learned fast the utter futility of anything but a Stepford response via phone or letter.

And they would tell the parents the same thing if a smidgen of the truth got out: He/She is manipulating you. If you took a stand, if you spoke up for someone, if you scorned the tactics used to break you, the staff just further embellished your portrayal as  a Troubled Youth.