Dear Anti "Program" people,
First, a question. Are all "programs" bad, like NA, AA, CA, OA, "the Premier Program"? Or is there a difference between the Premier program and the others?
In reading the posts I have been thinking about some stuff. I understand that there have been casualties at the programs but do you know what happens in Jails and Mental Institutions on a daily basis? Most of these kids end up in those places if their parents do not intervene and employ drastic measures to take their child out of a very destructive environment.
At least these kids are getting some kind of discipline and training at the "program" at jail and Youth Authority (A.k.a. "Gladiator camp" for the young gang members) they get no training or help and no push in the positive direction.
I would much rather my kid be in a program with rules and consequences than in solitary confinement at a prison. It is tragic and sad that some kids get sick and some die, I can not even imagine the pain that those parents have been through and I am not trying to minimize their pain and suffering because it is real and very horrible to have to go through. But, these things, tragic and preventable deaths, happen far more often in jails, prisons and mental institutions than they do in programs like this. I know that should something happen to my child in a program I would go ballistic and I would be on here too telling people how terrible the program is. It is terrible but the truth is that tragedies strike all the time, everywhere!
It is too bad that there is not some nice place, that is free, that everyone can agree on, that will teach our spoiled rotten and entitled children to deal with their feelings without using drugs, joining gangs, or resorting to violence. Unfortunately there is no such place and if there were these kids would work the system and destroy it so quick it would make your head spin.
What do you propose? Take the kids home, let them torture their brothers and sisters, let them kill themselves with drugs and alcohol, drive by shootings and other gang activities? Let them disrespect their parents and not follow the rules of the house? Let them break everything when they get mad?
It is a sad situation and it is true for the most part that the parents create these monsters by not enforcing rules and boundries until it is too late. Many parents want their kids to have what they did not have and give them too much, the kids do not have a work ethic or any sense of respect of responsibility.
What is wrong with a program that teaches them these things? Drastic times call for drastic measures! IS there another alternative that will work?
Can you show me kids who have been "pulled" from the schools who are successful in their lives today or are they all so "traumatized" from their time at the program? The graduates I know from the programs are shining examples of the program and they are successful...Even long term success is achieved by program grads. The stories of the victims would make me not want to pull my child because I would be afraid she would be stuck in the blame game for the rest of her life and she would never accept responsibility for her actions. At least if I had a child there I would keep her there so she would be totally "brainwashed" so she could have a chance at a nice life like so many graduates have.
I like to look at all sides to the issue, and realize that there are concerns, and you are right that it seems as if there are a lot of program people do not like to have their people looking at the anti program stuff....and it makes me suspicious too! At first I thought that it was about money, if people looked at the anti program stuff then they would have a knee jerk reaction and pull their kid and it would affect the schools financially. Now I understand that it is more than that, when someone who has decided to put their child in the school and gets scared and apprehensive and thinks that they have acted too fast or without the proper amount of thought and they get to the anti program stuff and react by pulling their kid it affects everyone. It affects the other kids who will not get pulled, it makes them think that they too will be able to talk themselves out of the program, it makes the whole structure weaker when parents act rashly and put their kids in and out. Putting a child into a school like this is not a decision people should take lightly and it seems to me that that is the case, they do act rashly. Either that or they run out of money and look for ways to rationalize taking their child out. "It is not a good place for my child after all..." if they read the anti program stuff when they are running out of cash, they are missing their child, they are a little weirded out by the whole program thing it is easy to look at the propaganda and take the child back home. ..
So, I do not know what the solution is to this problem. Even if the program really sucks and is bad for the kids what is one to do with their kid who is out of control?
Maybe instead of bashing the program a better way for you anti program people to accomplish your goals would be to offer a realistic alternative that just pull the kid and deal with it. A lot of people do not want to deal with the kid, or the kid will go to jail. It is a tough situation.
Anyone got any ideas? :cry:
